Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 5:48am

Oh, a couple of more things --

You never did explain Malfoy's reasoning behind setting up the contracts like that.

Tom A.

Crys replied:

You're right.   I didn't.   That was intentional.

Harry speculated several possible reasons, all of which made sense to me.   You can pick one of those or come up with your own.

Malfoy's an evil SOB.   He'd do it just cuz he could.

Not to mention giving me a intro to a story :)

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 5:44am

No! No! No! You can't leave it like that! (In whinny voice like the kid in _Princess Bride_) Harry and Tracy _have_ to get together! After all they've been through, it can't end like this.

How about another chapter "a year later"? Please? With virtual cookies?
At least the description still says "work in progress."

Thanks for the story.
Tom A.

Crys replied:

Thanks for e-mailing the virtual cookies.   The next chapter will be going up shortly.

Now just who Harry ends up with . . .

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 4:52am

I don't know why, but I didn't get notice that the story had been updated. Very good. Left at an exciting point. Good thing the next chapter is already done, then I wouldn't have to curse you for leaving a cliffie.

I didn't think that that was much Ron bashing. I did expect Hermione to charge him, but, oh well.

Like how Neville and Hermione have moved the DA to an active force. That's not seen much.

Thanks for the story. Good work!

Tom A.

capeboy posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 3:48pm

I really didn't enjoy this last chapter. Like, At All. Poor Daphne. Quite enjoyed the earlier chapters though. Seriously, WTF.

Tora58 posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 3:28pm

The last two chapters were too short and felt rushed, and this story suffers badly for it.

The end itself was fine, its just the pacing was horrible for the last two chapters...

Short Climax, is way to short.

brad posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 12:11pm

A very short chapter but it still delivered a hefty surprise. I was a bit taken aback at first about the law suit - as was your intent! - but the more I think about it the more I like your twist. Tracey always held back from going overboard with Harry and her freedom would have been the highest priority with her. Given that she gave Harry back most (*most*?!) of his estate it's *almost* like they both planned it from the beginning, although I understand they didn't. The last part of the scene very much set the tone of the whole thing/deal - with her freedom restored Tracey acknowledged Harry's nobility and goodness (which makes we readers feel good) and there's a possibility of something happening in the future between them, as equals.

Very good.

As chattel, how is it that Tracey could inherit Harry's estate upon his death? Wouldn't she be considered an asset that was *part* of that estate, instead? I guess I've forgotten something you laid down earlier in your story, about the chattel thing dissolving upon the master's death, something like that.

I appreciate how Dobby could pop into Malfoy manor and poison Riddle ... but, if they knew where Voldemort was staying, why did they wait until he moved to the Dolohov estate? That seemed to be a cusp of your story - Moody's discovering that intelligence, everyone moving into high gear and planning the assault - which doesn't seem that important, retrospectively, if they/Harry knew where Riddle was all the time anyway.

Hey, with Harry now unencumbered this means that he's available!! Hermione, get a move on and cosy up to your best friend, you hear? He saved himself for you, you know!!

(I don't think there's a symbol for 'half joking ... but half serious'?)

Yes, a nice *practical* little ending that, frankly, read a whole lot better than the last chapter; I do think you're choice to write the previous instalment in Brad's third-person perspective made it feel rather awkward.

Next chapter, Hermione and Harry, right? ;-)

fyr fly posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 11:17am

Hey, great story so far. I noticed a few chapters back (cant remember what one sorry) that you refered to death eaters as "deez". I realise that this is from your other works but I don't think the term has been explained in this story. I'd just thought to point it out as a small inconsistency. But apart from that this is a wonderful story and I cant wait to read more.

White Knight Leo posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 9:09am

Not sure what to think about this one. The other chapters were all great, but this is missing something.
Its not bad by any stretch, but not your best.

Tanaxanth posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 8:55am

All right..

I enjoyed this story right until here... the ending feels very rushed and flat..
Was this what you intended or did it just get rushed?

Bobboky posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 8:35am

excellent work

Sonicdale posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 7:14am

hm.
Nice.
Possible sequel, closes off a few things, Leaves a few things open.
Been watching NCIS much?
:)

Crys replied:

No sequel, but one more chapter to go.

Yes, Dale, actually I have been watching NCIS.   That bunny hasn't died, but no promises on whether it gets written.

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 5:18am

I can't help but think that she will be considered damaged goods in the eyes of most suiters. I don't know if that will be a bad thing, but I foresee it. On the face it is a pretty rotten thing to do and the public will never know that he consented to it.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)

Crys replied:

In the short term, perhaps.   However, it'll become clear in the next chapter that they're still on good terms.   That would definitely help her social standing.

Hawklan posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:23pm

sadly that looks a little bit rushed and is a bit unsatisfing to an otherwise good story

marcelhm posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 9:51pm

well I can't say the ending is too satisfying but I'm a sucker for the happily ever after with a nice quirk. but you sure made it nice and surprising so creds for that and the entire enjoyable story for that matter

Dupapier posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:50pm

Hello,

I really liked your story and I had a great time reading it.
The ending is a nice choice even if I didn't expect that and I'm a bit disapointed (I like happy endings :p).

Anyway thanks for your story.

lenny posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 6:07pm

noooo ...not goodbyeee..please no =)

William Martin posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 4:36pm

Thanks again for this fascinating story.
Though I would have liked to have read about the trial.
Keep on keepin on!

Rick D Gale posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 3:27pm

AHHHH!

You do know how to torment the readers don't you? I guess that's one of the reasons why we keep coming back for more.

Thank you for another excellent story.

rdgale

Stygius posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 12:01pm

Ooo, i surprising like that more then any of the alternatives... well done... i would be fitting for harry to put this all behind him and find another calling for his life.... looking forward to where you take it from here.

Time Shifter posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:41am

Wait, what?! Wow, what an ending. I was not expecting it at all, and while you definitely get points for an unexpected ending, I can't say I enjoyed it at all. Sorry.