By Crys
Reviews
Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:27am
This CAN'T be over. I need a happy-to-some-degree ending.
Great story.
Crys replied:
Not over. Epilogue coming.
Oh, and you didn't feel that a dead Voldy, him surviving, and her being free was "happy-to-some-degree"? :)
Kalen Darkmoon posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 10:30am
While the rest of the story was interesting, the ending is very poor. It was abrupt, incomplete and creates instant plot holes.
Point 1) In the story you've shown that the "chattel" were fearful of Harry dying because then they would become someone else's property, so both maintained that if he died, then so would they. They were terrified that anyone else owning them would abuse them.
Point 2) You've shown quite clearly that the "chattel" had absolutely NO legal rights whatsoever and anything they would have to say in any court would be considered worthless. They are subhuman and no longer have ANY legal rights.
So how is it now that Harry's brief "death" (though not really dead at all, just in need of CPR) suddenly restored all of her legal rights that she could suddenly sue Harry for her freedom? How is that?
There is no explanation and it's completely in contradiction of several of the previous chapters regarding the facts you set forth for their predicament. That their enslavement was for LIFE regardless if Harry lived or died (they'd just change owners) and their "rights" were gone because of that enslavement and there was absolutely nothing anybody could do.
Crys replied:
Back in the first chapter, it's stated that his death would free them. Somewhat illogical perhaps, but this is a story that uses Latin words and wooden sticks to produce magic.
They weren't afraid of him dying because they'd go to another owner. They were worried for his own sake. He's a good guy, after all. And more importantly, they also know that he's the only one able to kill Voldy.
kb0 posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 9:05am
Hmm, well, you gave us some interesting info, but this doesn't quite look like the end, and your story page still shows this as a WIP. So I guess we get an epilogue that shows a "couple of years later"?
Kevin
Patches posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 8:47am
This is quite a surprise ending. I am sorry that Daphne had to die. That was sad. It is surprising that Tracy fought for her freedom so hard. It was a nice surprise that she gave Harry back most of his inheritance. That was a good deal for Harry and Tracy to make. She needed to be able to say no and he needed to know how people really think about him. Sense there is no "The End" at the end of this chapter I'm hoping there is some kind of epilogue coming. Thanks for writing. The was a really unusual story. I really have enjoyed it. I look forward to more stories from you. pms
jakjakattk posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 8:14am
wow, so where is Hermione to pick up the pieces. oh, well. somebody had to take Harry to the bank, so to speak. sad that this might be the last chapter and that Daphne had to die and he never had a change to find love with either of them. Again, such is life right?
Thanks for the story. I hope that you have something again soon.
TheHard posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:59am
Errr... wha'? what was that? is the conclusion? daphne, the one that was really intersted, just died? booooooring... :D
Well, kind of a conclusion, but I'm really wondering if there is more to come :)
Crys replied:
Yep, one more chapter.
wolfwood posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:48am
good story, but I don't like the ending. Short, vague, and very anti-climactic.
Prince Charon posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:19am
Interesting. Sad about Daphne, though.
vheritas posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:12am
Well...it did answer all the questions (and I really liked the potion withdrawl idea)...but it seemed very rushed and abrupt.
I'm glad Harry didn't marry Tracey, and I can continue to believe he and Hermione got together.
Thanks for another fun, enjoyable and very readable story, Crys.
Hypochondriac posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 6:39am
Nice, so guess the story is finished? Seemed a bit rushed but glad you finished it rather then abandoning it.
Though I kind of wanted to see how Harry reacted to the news of Daphne's death. The reaction Harry's friends had to the court case since that seemed to be a secret between Harry and Tracey.
slickrcbd posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 5:41am
This seems rushed to me. Also, the amount of time being only one week doesn't seem right. People are talking like it's been a lot longer since the events happened, at least a month if not longer. Also the lack of details of the aftermath and fallout from the events in the previous chapter has a serious disconnect for me. The story was good so far, but this chapter made me go "WTF?" and wonder if you just lost interest or inspiration for the story. In which case, I commend you for finishing it, even though the ending was a bit of a let-down and of a much lower quality compared to the rest.
prateek91 posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 3:09am
Greattt story!!!!!good work....nly a little disappointed about Daphne's death....Keep up the good work....
BJH posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 3:09am
Wow, I definitely didn't see that coming!
Nice way to end it though, especially leaving it open ended like that. I would have liked to see a bit more in this chapter though, not a drawn out court scene but maybe some other people's POVs.
Nicely crafted story though and thuroughly enjoyable.
BJH
Illusia posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 3:07am
wtf, did you get bored with this story or something?
Clell65619 posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 1:34am
- Ok, wow.
- A very odd ending to an interesting story.
- I had to go back to the beginning of the story and read the story as a single piece to see that the ending fit, and I was amazed how well the ending meshed with the story.
- Well done. I quite enjoyed it.
Crys replied:
Coming from a fellow wordsmith that I respect, I appreciate that.
Glad you've enjoyed it. Only one chapter to go.
winoniel posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 1:26am
Great chapter! Seeing it from Tracey's POV was interesting, but leaves so many questions!
I liked the way you were able to settle the slavery issue rather painlessly (Oh, well, I suppose except for Harry's dying). Good job.
Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 1:23am
A nice ending that wraps up most of the loose ends. What makes this story really stand out amongst the 'noise' is that Harry stays in character. He's noble and honourable but he listens when someone points out to him the easier way of getting things done.
I'm left wondering exactly whose plan that was to give Tracey her freedom. Either way, it was suspiciously Slytherin.
What will happen in the future? Well, that is another story.
Very well done, Crys.
BenRG's Overall Rating: 8.5/10
bluminous posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 12:57am
You killed Daphne!!! I would have liked it if Tracy died instead.
Very good story, thanks for sharing it with us.
Renzo7 posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 12:50am
Hello. Thanks for uploading.
Is that the end? Sure feels like it. I hope to see more updates soon.
pfeil posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:28am