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Galadrion posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:16am

>.< Ouch. Bit of a downer ending there - although it's perfectly believable. Still, ouch.

Crys replied:

Glad you thought it was believable.  Not a happily ever after ending, that's true.

Thanks for reviewing.

War posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 3:38am

This Story has sucked so much from the start of Chapter 3. What looked to be a very promising story has been a HUGE let Down. Ron tries to rape Hermione and he gets a letter from his mother for the trouble. Draco tries to kill Harry and all he gets for the atemp is a slap on the wrist. Snap tries to rape one of Harry's Girls and not a thing is realy done about. It was like you just did not give a damn about what you were doning with this story. Were you even following a plan or were you just pulling things out of your butt? This story was a MAJOR EPIC FAILURE in my opinion.

Crys replied:

Draco tried to kill Harry multiple times, supported a terrorist, tried to kill multiple others, cast multiple Unforgiveables against innocents and nothing was done to him (or his family fortune).

AD screwed with Harry's life for a decade and a half and Harry names a kid after him.

Snape actively tried to hurt Harry in about a dozen different ways hundreds of times and Harry names a kid after him.

The only truly and utterly faithful characters: Hedwig died and Hermione marries a red-headed idiot.  Dobby, arguably another faithful friend, died.  Harry ends up with a stalker fan-girl. 

JKR didn't even try to punish many of the "bad guys" nor reward the "good guys".

Is the Harry Potter series of novels by JKR also a major epic failure?

Before you rant at me, there is another chapter.  Several characters' fates get mentioned.

tony s posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 3:23am

I hate to say this....but now i'm extremely lost. what the hell just happened?

Crys replied:

Voldy died, Harry won and survived, Tracey is free.  The opted not to pursue a relationship.

'Kay, a bit terse, but that's the gist of it.

KrzaQ posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:56am

I didn't like that chapter. I generally hate bad endings, so I guess this isn't a surprise.

Crys replied:

Sorry you didn't like it, but I don't see that as a "bad" ending.  Harry's free of Voldy & Tracey is free of Harry.

More importantly, though, I thought that was an honest ending.

Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:30am

This is/was a great story. IWould love to see where it goes from here. I liked the way that Tracy came to Harry and his reaction was not unexpected even though you could tell that he was feeling her throughout the story but he wanted it to be real. Please if you have the time continue this story or write a sequel. I'm sure there are others like me that appreciate good writing in this world and ours.

DJ posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:20am

A bit of an odd end, is that the end? I feal a bit sad for Harry, however this was a good fic thanks for writting.

Jamey posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:19am

WHOAH!

Ok, more reasoned review later, once I wrap my head around this. Just...

WHOAH!!!!!!

Crys replied:

Was that a good "whoa!" or a bad "whoa!"?

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Wednesday 14th October 2009 9:48pm

Actually, instead of inspiring a bunny I was hoping you'd avoid the "easy" solution to the chattel problem.

It LOOKS (looks, mind you) that by temporarily stopping Harry's heart you're going to void the contract and set them free.

But that's far too easy a solution to canceling a magical contract. The Death Eater tattoos still worked when V came back to life. In canon, the prophesy still held sway even when Voldemort's body was destroyed. You could argue that these contracts are different due to soul magic, but if if Harry's soul and magical abilities never left him, could he really be dead enough to void a magical contract?

Besides, voiding the contract would cause this story to lose all meaning - it would go from an extremely interesting and unique interpretation of fanfic cliche to just another Harry pops Voldie with a twist story, and that would be a shame.

I don't think you're the type of writer that would go for the cheap and easy out. In a story about chattel, what would be the point if Harry doesn't have to deal with the full consequences of having them?

Crys replied:

Sorry to disappoint you, but all this story was ever meant to be was the first few months of the three of them trying to make the best of their totally screwed up situation.

As far as the "easy" solution, I was trying to go in a direction other than the standard "happily ever after".  Could I have them win the fight, move to America, get married, and have a dozen kids?  Sure.  But that answer would be boring.  This one is at least different, and I hope it's honest to the characters.

Your ideas to differentiate magical contracts from soul magic are interesting, but far deeper in scope than this story.

Thanks for reviewing and bringing up several good / interesting points.

KrzaQ posted a comment on Wednesday 14th October 2009 12:00am

The battle was overly dramatic to me. And I can't grasp the logic behind freeing Daphne & Tracey.

Death, by its very definition, is irrevocable. You don't come back. Neither does Harry. Or Voldemort, for that matter. They both evaded death, even if a little differently.

Even considering that Harry did die, where does it put him now? If his so-called death "counts", as you try to imply, shouldn't his properties (girls included, I guess) be inherited by someone?

Now about Daphne & Tracey. From what we know (one of girls said so), the contract:
1) wasn't enforced magically,
2) changed legal status of Tracey and Daphne to chattel.

1) I can't see how just the event of Harry's "death" could affect the charm on the headbands since Harry didn't actually die.
2) I don't think that wizarding world would think of giving them human rights any more than of giving human rights to, say, a chair.

That said, I have to say that this fic is exceptionally good considering sheer ridiculousness of the original idea.

Crys replied:

Glad you're enjoying the story, even if the foundation is made of two sticks and a lot of styrofoam.

Yes, the premise is ridiculous.  OtOH, this is magical Britain we're talking about.  Logic need not apply.

You'd think that as property, they'd be inherited by someone, but as was stated in chapter 1, they become "people" again at his death.  Barring their having caused it, anyway.

Glad you're enjoying it

wolfkin posted a comment on Tuesday 13th October 2009 7:23am

I do so hope that, after all her teasing and waiting that Daphne isn't dead. That would be a majorly disappointing end to a very enjoyable story.

As for voiding the contracts, I always figured you'd have a way for that to be done. The one way I thought would be pretty neat I got the idea for when Harry and the girls went to register their marriages. If Harry could scorch a counter top that had been repeatedly charmed to indestructible, I thought he could ask for the master copy of the chattel contract and torch it. That should destroy the contract and its copies via the protean charm. On the other hand, I suppose that's too simple.

Anyway, can't wait for the next part.

Kathleen posted a comment on Monday 12th October 2009 11:56am

Yahoo!!!
You really had me in suspense there. Brilliant idea, by the way, to do it all from that Revenclaw's point of view.

Crys replied:

Glad you liked the different PoV.

Thanks for reading.

Anthony May posted a comment on Monday 12th October 2009 3:10am

Brilliant, I hope the next chapter tells the story of the battle in the house. Keep up the great work!!

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 11:06pm

I'm so pleased to be reading a fanfic of such high quality that the author wouldn't dare wuss out by having Harry die just to void the chattel contracts.

A cop out like that would only happen on fanfiction.net.

I mean, if it were that easy to void legal contracts, he'd lose his OWL/NEWT scores and have to start over as a first year, probably have to give up any legal claim to the Potter name and and anything left of his parents (including Hagrid's picture book and the cloak)...

{wickedevilgrin}

Crys replied:

You're trying to force-feed me a bunny, aren't you?

Nice try.

amulder posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 10:40pm

Short!

But well done. The different POV makes for a refreshing change, shows the mayhem and confusion, and is of course an interesting writing technique.

But short, darn it. ;-)

thanks for sharing

Vilkath posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 8:38pm

Well an interesting fight, a lot more logic to the battle then most magical fights you see in Harry Potter stories. I am some what disapointed in Harry himself though.. honestly everyone doing a great job being professional, killing their enemies and not just stunning death eaters and harry goes and show boats by asking Tom if he has any last words? The guy is deadly dangerous and Harry himself felt he had next to no real chance of winning.. yet he let him live longer then he had to at great risk to himself and others to make a witty come back?

Crys replied:

Harry's honor got in the way, and it got him killed (momentarily, anyway).

Thanks for reading.

94caddy posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 8:02pm

Daphne?

that1 posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 9:44am

Good deal ... another chapter.
Keep it up!

Sonicdale posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 6:52am

You sneaky, sneaky, sneaky dog.
This was a good cliffie.
I'm glad to see the final battle from a different perspective. Gave it a lot of depth.

Nice work. Good job.

deeniebee posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 4:15pm

Oh wow, very climatic! I love showing the battle through the eyes of someone not intimately connected with Harry and the girls.
I hope you at least have a few more chapters after this, I don't want it to end!

switchhammerhit posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 2:28pm

Well, um, that wasn't what I was expecting. Shorter to be sure, but hoping that the next installment will even things out ( 15,918 word count needed to get back to average ). It appears that Daphne is totally busted up ( out side of a miracle ) and will never know that she is free ( based on the metal clasp [headband possibly] Tracy removed from her hair. I was hoping that the three would live happily ever after. But this fiction so there is always hope ( unless you wish to squash that know ). Third person viewpoint was a very nice touch, but hope that details of the fight inside the house will be shared. Can Snape get squashed now, please! ;)