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Panaka posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 8:08am

Review if this is the last chapter:
not very predictable, original ending to the story. Very nice.....

And totally lame, assuming this is the end. Feels fabricated to by 'something not expected' and leaves me with a feeling that there's a lot missing. Harry went trough all that and is left with an Elf, an old house and some money. Where is reward. Real life can suck, but this isn't real life.

If this isn't the end:
I hope you have something pretty spectacular lined up for the epiloque, because this sucks as an ending.

gunners posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 7:25am

Hmmmmm.....just had to kill Daphne did you?

Well its your story,though a bit sad that the ending finished without Harry getting together with either of his wife,as one is dead and the other is scorned upon by society.

A very short chapter to wrap it all up.

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 7:19am

Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.

Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 6:25am

Ok. Nice plot flip. Upon a re-read, all is clear. You left us with something of a cliffie last week and now you leave us with perhaps yet another. Looking forward to the resolution.

Soothingmadness posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 6:07am

Well that and the last chapter were very large let downs.

HopelessFan posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 5:39am

I can't believe you took even the last bit of possible sex out of it :-p

well written :-)

Ian Drimes posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:58am

Wow, awesome fic. I really enjoyed it. Loved the ending, never saw it coming.

ghanima posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:57am

I really enjoyed this story. Your ideas on the 'wizarding' legal system were most interesting.

I thought about requesting an epilogue but I hope you end this here, with a pleasant twist and a bit to think about.

Overall a highly enjoyable read. Well done.

Crys replied:

Glad you enjoyed it.

Sorry, but there's another chapter (also very short) coming.  Hopefully it won't detract from the ending that you liked.

Kathleen posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:28am

I am so glad you didn't have them just fall into each othet's arms! But now i must admit I want them to get together!

Crys replied:


You're glad they didn't get together, but now you want them to get together?

That IS what you just said, right? :)

Galadrion posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:28am

And, to War:

I think you're missing the point that Crys was making with this story: the Wizarding world is fundamentally irrational and has internalized prejudice and scapegoating inextricably into their legal and social system. Draco, in canon, has taken potentially lethal action against Harry and his friends. Snape has carried out a campaign of (mental and emotional) torture which is criminal in its own right, not to mantion a complete violation of any sort of professional and educational ethics. Ron has shown himself in the past to be susceptible to this sort of (un)thinking: given the events in this story which led up to the confrontation, Ron could very well react that way, and Molly's first instinct has always been "my family, right or wrong".

No, the story is quite definitely depressing, but it is not inconsistent with the characterizations in canon.

Simon13 posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:19am

I have to admit this totally not how I was expecting this story to keep going two chapters ago. I'm a little upset that you killed off Daphne, but I get it. That was the point, probably.

The trick with Tracey getting her freedom back was a good one and I didn't see it coming.

Altogether you turned what seemed to be evolving into a !Harem-Harry into a decent story, so here's an "'At a Boy!" for you ;).

Crys replied:

Thank you :)

Galadrion posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:16am

>.< Ouch. Bit of a downer ending there - although it's perfectly believable. Still, ouch.

Crys replied:

Glad you thought it was believable.  Not a happily ever after ending, that's true.

Thanks for reviewing.

War posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 3:38am

This Story has sucked so much from the start of Chapter 3. What looked to be a very promising story has been a HUGE let Down. Ron tries to rape Hermione and he gets a letter from his mother for the trouble. Draco tries to kill Harry and all he gets for the atemp is a slap on the wrist. Snap tries to rape one of Harry's Girls and not a thing is realy done about. It was like you just did not give a damn about what you were doning with this story. Were you even following a plan or were you just pulling things out of your butt? This story was a MAJOR EPIC FAILURE in my opinion.

Crys replied:

Draco tried to kill Harry multiple times, supported a terrorist, tried to kill multiple others, cast multiple Unforgiveables against innocents and nothing was done to him (or his family fortune).

AD screwed with Harry's life for a decade and a half and Harry names a kid after him.

Snape actively tried to hurt Harry in about a dozen different ways hundreds of times and Harry names a kid after him.

The only truly and utterly faithful characters: Hedwig died and Hermione marries a red-headed idiot.  Dobby, arguably another faithful friend, died.  Harry ends up with a stalker fan-girl. 

JKR didn't even try to punish many of the "bad guys" nor reward the "good guys".

Is the Harry Potter series of novels by JKR also a major epic failure?

Before you rant at me, there is another chapter.  Several characters' fates get mentioned.

tony s posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 3:23am

I hate to say this....but now i'm extremely lost. what the hell just happened?

Crys replied:

Voldy died, Harry won and survived, Tracey is free.  The opted not to pursue a relationship.

'Kay, a bit terse, but that's the gist of it.

KrzaQ posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:56am

I didn't like that chapter. I generally hate bad endings, so I guess this isn't a surprise.

Crys replied:

Sorry you didn't like it, but I don't see that as a "bad" ending.  Harry's free of Voldy & Tracey is free of Harry.

More importantly, though, I thought that was an honest ending.

Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:30am

This is/was a great story. IWould love to see where it goes from here. I liked the way that Tracy came to Harry and his reaction was not unexpected even though you could tell that he was feeling her throughout the story but he wanted it to be real. Please if you have the time continue this story or write a sequel. I'm sure there are others like me that appreciate good writing in this world and ours.

DJ posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:20am

A bit of an odd end, is that the end? I feal a bit sad for Harry, however this was a good fic thanks for writting.

Jamey posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:19am


Ok, more reasoned review later, once I wrap my head around this. Just...


Crys replied:

Was that a good "whoa!" or a bad "whoa!"?

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Wednesday 14th October 2009 9:48pm

Actually, instead of inspiring a bunny I was hoping you'd avoid the "easy" solution to the chattel problem.

It LOOKS (looks, mind you) that by temporarily stopping Harry's heart you're going to void the contract and set them free.

But that's far too easy a solution to canceling a magical contract. The Death Eater tattoos still worked when V came back to life. In canon, the prophesy still held sway even when Voldemort's body was destroyed. You could argue that these contracts are different due to soul magic, but if if Harry's soul and magical abilities never left him, could he really be dead enough to void a magical contract?

Besides, voiding the contract would cause this story to lose all meaning - it would go from an extremely interesting and unique interpretation of fanfic cliche to just another Harry pops Voldie with a twist story, and that would be a shame.

I don't think you're the type of writer that would go for the cheap and easy out. In a story about chattel, what would be the point if Harry doesn't have to deal with the full consequences of having them?

Crys replied:

Sorry to disappoint you, but all this story was ever meant to be was the first few months of the three of them trying to make the best of their totally screwed up situation.

As far as the "easy" solution, I was trying to go in a direction other than the standard "happily ever after".  Could I have them win the fight, move to America, get married, and have a dozen kids?  Sure.  But that answer would be boring.  This one is at least different, and I hope it's honest to the characters.

Your ideas to differentiate magical contracts from soul magic are interesting, but far deeper in scope than this story.

Thanks for reviewing and bringing up several good / interesting points.

KrzaQ posted a comment on Wednesday 14th October 2009 12:00am

The battle was overly dramatic to me. And I can't grasp the logic behind freeing Daphne & Tracey.

Death, by its very definition, is irrevocable. You don't come back. Neither does Harry. Or Voldemort, for that matter. They both evaded death, even if a little differently.

Even considering that Harry did die, where does it put him now? If his so-called death "counts", as you try to imply, shouldn't his properties (girls included, I guess) be inherited by someone?

Now about Daphne & Tracey. From what we know (one of girls said so), the contract:
1) wasn't enforced magically,
2) changed legal status of Tracey and Daphne to chattel.

1) I can't see how just the event of Harry's "death" could affect the charm on the headbands since Harry didn't actually die.
2) I don't think that wizarding world would think of giving them human rights any more than of giving human rights to, say, a chair.

That said, I have to say that this fic is exceptionally good considering sheer ridiculousness of the original idea.

Crys replied:

Glad you're enjoying the story, even if the foundation is made of two sticks and a lot of styrofoam.

Yes, the premise is ridiculous.  OtOH, this is magical Britain we're talking about.  Logic need not apply.

You'd think that as property, they'd be inherited by someone, but as was stated in chapter 1, they become "people" again at his death.  Barring their having caused it, anyway.

Glad you're enjoying it