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Killedbykarma posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 9:25am

This was a nice blend of serious, funny, intelligent, and introspective on the possibilities of the loopholes JKR left all throughout wizarding society!
Good job! (I'm hoping for an epilogue because Neville was right, there WILL be fallout)

Crys replied:

Oh, much more than an epilogue.  This is just the first chapter.

Glad you're enjoying it.

gadriam posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 9:07am

Oooh. This looks promising. I do have a similar outline somewhere among the backup folders but i never made it real.
The outset was brilliant, the interactions between Dumblesnape and the sentient lifeforms was intriguing and I really want to see the conclusion. Did he do the right thing, or is it an elaborate trap? Will he be castigated for it? Will Malfoy retaliate? What will their families say? What will the weather be like?
Do, please do continue.

g

Marketa posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 9:00am

Wow this is a great idea for a story adore the chapter as well, love how Harry;s honor has got him in a tough situation again, but i think Tracy and Daphne could be great for him, can't wait to read more and see how the wedding goes.

readyornot posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 7:19am

Fantastic first chapter! I can't wait to see how the wizarding world reacts to Harry's marriage(s). I love the line about realizing their burning desire after a Quidditch match- it left me howling with laughter. The whole chapter is very well put together and I can't wait to see where you take this fabulous plot bunny.

Harold Clark posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 4:21am

Good start!Interesting plot line and room for much development. You do a good job in character development.

nfk posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 3:53am

Great start to the story. I liked that you captured a wide range of characters and responses to the situation that Harry, once again, seems to have been thrust in, all because of his silly people-saving thing. ^_^

Can't wait to see what happens next. If the first chapter is any indication for what is to come, it's going to be a fun ride.

Nick5 posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 3:38am

Nice, especially liked how Albus was taken (partially) to task and Draco got called out. Severus getting killed would have been nicer but, sadly, the Prophet Jagger was right - you can't always get what you want.

rune1806 posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 3:35am

Thanks for doing more with one of his stories, the only problem he has is he almost never finishes a story. I like the story line and look forward to more.

happyreader posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 1:54am

Chapter 2 should be neat,, will the plot explore
DD's strange behavior ... tune in,,,
bye........ 1happyreader

Panaka posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 11:42pm

Cool start.

Harry could give another interview. Even if nobody believes him, it will get his version of the story out there.

prateek91 posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 10:51pm

I liked it a lot cuz its different from all the 'being betrayed-hidden inheritance-loads of wives-superpowered harry' kinda stories u find evrywhere.Keep up da good work n update sooon.

Patches posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 9:59pm

This is a really good story. I would like to see some more of this story continued. Harry of course had to do his saving people thing even though it means he is going to marry two girls and instead of being wives they will be classed as concubines. That is really sad that they will not be given the status of wives and their children cannot be primary heirs. I would like to see how this story plays out. Thanks for writing and please consider continuing. pms

Crys replied:

Definitely intend on continuing it.

Glad you're enjoying it.

whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 8:16pm

Brilliant start to the story, it's nice to see a well-thought-out story like this...with possible Harry/Multi fun.

The only thing that bothered me was how many people took to calling Tracey and Daphne "Harry's ladies" or "his new ladies". Seemed really awkward just about every time it was used.

Looking forward to more.

Aquilara posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 7:59pm

Hey!

I really like your idea. It is something new for a change. I would love to see where you're going with this, because you raise some very interesting and complicated issues.

x

Aquilara

Brian Donnely posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 7:19pm

"And may I ask why you drug me in here?" - Shouldn't this be 'dragged'?

K that's my one thing to point out. I'm always up for a good story involving Harry with some obscure girls, so I'll be along the ride. Oh, and I appreciated how accurately you got the details of concubinage. Nice nice.

brad posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 6:56pm

So this is a multi-chapter story? Great, thanks!

Being a H/Hr man I appreciate the depth of the friendship you've shown between Harry and Hermione ... and I admit I wouldn't mind seeing something more between them. But hey, two's company, three's a crowd, so three girls might be one too many for Harry. And best buds is good too.

Still, I applaud Hermione's recognition of Ron's shortcomings at the very least; I'm glad you won't be subjecting us to an unbelievable R/Hr coupling.

Given how quickly Harry's two chattel-to-be asked to be included in the fighting lessons I'm surprised that Hermione didn't put up her hand as well. Since she doesn't seem to know what Harry's doing in his lessons it seems she's not already taking them with her best friend, so once the other girls got added ... I would have thought the lass who did every subject there was in third year might have wanted in?

Who is the Head Boy, by the way?

Enjoyed very much the snarking at canon's H/G at the end there - good show!

A bit on the outlandish side - the girls as chattel, Harry being the only lad who can be depended on to defeat Malfoy (maybe you could have spent a sentence or two mentioning Malfoy's having learnt duelling (and the dark arts) from an early age, or his duelling over the summers in pureblood contests, something like that ... but that would have invalidated his shameful showing against Harry, though), easily available accommodation for 'married students' (no high schools like that in my day!) and so forth, but good fun nonetheless. And of course a story featuring a noble!Harry has a powerful draw to it for just that factor. Looking forward to more, thank you!

Crys replied:

Yep, going to be multi-chaptered.

Harry's getting more focused instruction from Flitwick.  The D.A. is still going strong, though, so it isn't like Hermione isn't getting any extra instruction.

Head Boy?  Terry Boot, but it doesn't factor into the story.

Hogwarts isn't like any modern high school.  It's a boarding school built a thousand years ago.  Then, it was much more common for mid-teens to have arranged marriages.  That's why Hogwarts has married student housing.

Glad you're enjoying it.

DrgnMstr posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 6:03pm

I like so far. Keep it up!

Sterling posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:38pm

Your a good writer and I enjoy your stories. However, I think you are pushing your marriage contract premise to far by involving two girls.

It makes the plot seem less like an interesting take on wizarding culture and more of an adolescent fantasy. Still, given the general high quality of your writing I am sure I will find this story entertaining. Thanks.

Crys replied:

It's not going to devolve into a multi, smut fic.  There are entirely too many of those already.

I'm trying to look at this from the girls' PoV some and a bit of what kind of society could produce this situation in the first place.

Thank you for having the patience to stick with it, even though it started like it could be a juvenile fantasy story.

kb0 posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:35pm

That's an interesting start. It is a start and there will be more, right? IF not, that's a horrible way to end it. :)

Crys replied:

Yes, there will be more.  Even *I* am not that evil :)

heathw posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:16pm

A fun start. It's great to see you writing again!