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Clell65619 posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 3:02am

- Oh very good. Nasty little cliffie there though.

- Loving this story.

Treck posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 2:36am

You goofed.

How can they use ShieldusMoRonus if MoRon isn't there? :p

Love the update... Hate the Cliff-hanger.

Crys replied:

*laugh*  Yeah, that is one problem with chucking him out.  Less cannon fodder.

Thanks for the review

whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 2:09am

Very interesting update. It's a pity you decided to have Ron sink to such a level, but since he'd already been viewing two people as mere property, he didn't have that much more falling left available to him.

Looking forward to more.

Jonathan Langford posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 2:02am

Very nice! I'm startled (but pleased!) at just how quickly we've moved forward the plot in this chapter. Just one more chapter to go?

Crys replied:

Two chapters to go

Thanks for reviewing

Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 1:43am

An interesting chapter. Things are pretty obviously heading towards a climax here.

I am sure that you will get complaints about Ron in this chapter. However, the thing that should be remembered is that he was acting in-character in the terms of this story. I don't know if it was hormones, greed or just a bit of pureblood arrogance coming out at the wrong time, but Ron's jealousy just got the better of him with tragic consequences.

I do like your maturing Harry and your more forceful Neville. His response to Harry preventing him from getting into the Medical Wing was interesting. Is he interested in Hermione? ;-)

There are still lots of threads in this story that need to be tied off so, irrespective of the outcome of the assault in the next chapter, I imagine that there is quite a bit left to see.

This is a very interesting and challenging story. What I like about it is that Harry is picking his fights. He is not stamping all over convention because he has worked out that this would be counter-productive. This is a realistic approach that immediately sets this aside from most similar stories in the fandom. You can also see how continual close association with two intelligent Slytherins has changed Harry's outlook and ways of doing things.

Very good job! :-)

BenRG's Rating: 8/10

Crys replied:

Yeah, a few complaints on Ron's behavior, but many also recognize the same thing you did.  All I did was exaggerate one or two of his less appealing personality traits, throw him into a situation that highlighted them, and then let him stew for a few months.  His reaction is ugly, but it's, IMNSHO, in character.

Glad all of you are seeing the subtle flirting between H & Hr and N & Hr.  As for who she's going to end up with?  Sorry, not telling.

Thank you for reviewing.

tomandeva posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 1:00am

So, we've arrived at 'the battle'. I do hope that you will continue the story after that, not just leave us with a summary epilogue. I am most interested in reading your vision of how Harry, Tracey, and Daphne interact as adults with, as you say, a "society that could turn the girls into chattel and not see the inherent problem with that".

I also have to disagree with Harry's claim, "I'm not generally around people who feel chattel are a part of a reasonable society." If most of Magical Britain did not feel that chattel were acceptable, then Chattel Marriages would have been outlawed. He must be surrounded by people who at least accept the idea, even if they don't embrace it - Rons without the anger, if you will. I hope you will be exploring how Harry, Tracey, and Daphne will interact with this group.

mwinter posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 12:34am

So, are you getting Hermione with Neville or Harry? Whats with the two week wait in between, hum?

Crys replied:

Now why would I tell you just who I'm pairing Hermione with?  If you knew that, you may not read to the end.

The two weeks is just to be consistent from one chapter to the next.  Gives me plenty of time to edit the next chapter before posting it.

Thanks for reviewing.

dragyn posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 12:31am

Dirty Dueling Deeds, is that the one by Dundurt Tchiep?

I may not be a regular commenter, but I have been enjoying this. Quick spelling comment (I wouldnt mention it, but it was italicized, like 'look at my spelling!')

"these two who I'm legally responsible for, where..." should be 'were'. Like I said, it was nice and italicized :)

Crys replied:

Yeah, that was one of the contributing authors to that particular book.

Good catch.  Thank you for pointing it out.  Spelling fixed.

And the italization was for a audible emphasis by Harry, not the author to point out his inability to spell.

Thanks for reviewing

Orion posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 12:28am

Great! Can't wait to read the coming battle.

As for Ron, I tend to be OK with either version of Ron. Good friend or total jerk. In fact it tends to be the 'lukewarm' friend Ron in some fan fiction that bugs me. He's too intense in his beliefs and habits to not be on either extreme end of the spectrum.

Thanks for writing!

Crys replied:

I'm glad someone "likes" this version of Ron.  I never could understand JKR's usage of Ron in the series.

Thanks for reviewing.

Stygius posted a comment on Friday 25th September 2009 12:02am

Harry was way too calm with what happened with Hermione... this is someone he 'loves'... and to hear of such an attempted act, well, regardless of what he has learned or how he has changed... finding about your friends near rape, leave you vengeful and raw. and harry is raw red hot gryfindor... so that surprised me...

interesting to see hermione participating with the attack... and is harry not doing exactly what Hermione and Neville did behind his back... a bit hypocritical (though i guess he is somewhat better prepared).

should be interesting

Jason Karr posted a comment on Thursday 24th September 2009 12:24pm

Looking forward to the next chapter

Ascania posted a comment on Wednesday 23rd September 2009 2:19am

I find this insistence everyone has on micromanaging their slaves VERY annoying. Heck, what good is it having somebody to do a job for you if you can't do anything else because you need to hold their hand all the way.

This is not limited to your story but a general among the "Harry gets slaves" fics.
An attitude of "I told them what's the what and I know they can arrive their under their own power. I have no need to constantly keep an eye on them." would be a refreshing change.

Brought on by the talk about going to the owlery. I mean, if he can't write a letter and send a girl to get it sent (yes, hypothetical extrapolation from what's actually going on) but has to accompany her what good is it having somebody else do the job for you?

In conclusion, micromanaging = bad.

maddsloth posted a comment on Monday 21st September 2009 6:33pm

Malfoy, unsurprisingly, simply bribed, blackmailed, or intimidated the court into releasing him once again.
- And your Harry is still training to fight to up hold this Government? Has the Ministry ever done anything right by him? I would not be doing this if not for some serious cash, after all it is all Malfoys anyway. Then I would move from this corrupt little island or crush the gov. and replace it with something better.

----- ---- ---- AN - for chapter 4, could not wait till end of next chapter … lol

Several reviewers of the last chapter commented on such a "small" amount of money in Harry's vault and started wondering about who was stealing from him.
Sorry, no conspiracy to steal from the poor, ignorant orphan boy. The Potters were never of the "filthy rich" social class
------ ----- -----

1) "My family has been pure-blooded for longer than the Malfoys but not as long as the Potters were before you, Harry."
2) "As heir of a prestigious name like yours
3) Socially and politically, that will hurt you."
4) The fact is that you're a Potter. You're expected to live according to our traditions and customs."

Twelve thousand galleons – I have no problem with Harry not having 300 trillion galleons, owning 97 percent of the wizarding world and 3/4th of Hogwarts but, all the above statements are inconsistent with being a middle class family. The Malfoys could bury Diagon Ally in their money but the much older Potters would have a hard time equipping a quidditch team with a set of Firebolts. And it seems this is the combined assets of both the Potters and Blacks? Since they talk about #12.

And in 15 years the taxes on the black home will cost him more than both families have?

The Weasley family blew the equivalent almost 10% of the Potter/Black family fortunes taking a portkey to Egypt.

Crys replied:

Logically, Harry shouldn't try to uphold this government.  Logic, however, doesn't always rule our actions.  Patriotism, inertia, his "saving-people-thing", take your pick.  More to the point, though, it'd be a much shorter and unsatisfying fic if he just said "hell with this" and ran away to Iceland.

Harry's social position versus wealth: Potters were a long line of purebloods, but that doesn't necessarily equate to wealth.  Look at Weasleys and Gaunts.  He has a high social position because of what happened as an infant.  Not like there was a chance to gather wealth in the meantime.

I'm sorry if he can be high profile yet not insanely wealthy.  Yeah, that's the way the fics usually go (300 trillion galleons, 97 percent of the wizarding economy and 3 / 4 of Hogwarts, as you pointed out).  I'm just trying to turn that cliche on its ear.

maddsloth posted a comment on Monday 21st September 2009 7:38am

So far I am enjoying the story not to say I have some beefs with it lol. Thanks for taking the time to write this story.

From chapter 1 I found it odd that Draco immediately hijacked the duel then, Snape through Dumbledore hijacked the hijacked duel. The duel challenging rules seemed more like a game of hot potato. How long would it have taken Filch to get involved?

Neville's eyes were wide. "You'd let them date?"
- So far your Harry seems kind of retarded, letting his ‘wives’ date? Also I think the reason they keep telling him how good of a guy he is, is because they are not convinced he is that great guy so they seem to be manipulating him in to thinking he is that guy. “Harry you would never make us do anything we did not want to do” “yes you are right I will always let you rule my life”

"Mine as well," Daphne said. "I suspect they will want to meet you soon."
Harry paled.
- Ya I would be scared to meet a few men that put their daughters future in the hands of a known death eater (trusting the Honor of a rapist with your children, is there lead in the pipes or something?), one question though at what point does this story follow canon? I am guessing OoTP since moony gave the ‘little wizard’ told to Harry, so how is Malfoy playing the role of matchmaker for the pureblood natural families? He is an escaped convict.

I think you said it was Professor Hagrid who visited your relatives' home?"
- The boy who lived did not get a Professor he was at the time a grounds keeper, but it is interesting that the most famous person in their world get the ‘janitor’ sent to pick him up. Filch would have been better qualified to explain the wizarding world to Harry. He may be disgruntled but at least he is not ‘slow in the head’.

"Figures. I go through years of falling on my face and getting laughed at.
- So Hermione, Finnegan, and all the other muggle raised get a pass but He did not because Dumbledore is a fuck stain that sent a Dumble zealot to pick him up? Though it would have been real funny is if he used the Floo fell on his face and while recovering got killed by a DE. HAHAHA Harry HAHA. This still does not excuse Hermione who effectively got a pass on the big joke, and all the other people who know he was muggle raised. It is more likely Ron and all the other enjoyed seeing the great BWL fall on his ass.

I have this sinking feeling Harry is going to fight this 'war’ with all the furry the passivism instilled in him by Mr. Forgive and forget Dumbledore will allow him. Also find it funny that Dumbledore does not seem to want to train Harry himself but I hope there is a real split between Harry and the old man now, dew to how he allowed the citation to go the way it did. “Severus told me all would be ok if they became slaves, when has Severus ever been wrong or biased about anything?” who will he not sell out for ‘the greater good’? and at which point does his way of thinking make a person a dark lord?

Crys replied:

The "hijacker" must want to enter.  Not to mention that the one being "championed" (Crabbe and Goyle at first, then Draco if Snape had actually dueled), must agree (at least tacitly).  Yeah, the rules are insane by our standards, but who said the WW had to make sense?

Calling them "wives" is something of a misnomer.  He consistenly refers to them that way (for his peace of mind), but it's more of a property ownership issue.

Malfoy: He's not an escaped convict, he was pardoned by Fudge.  Yes, he's a D.E., but he's never been proven to be one.  Yes, it is a thin legal (and logical) line, but this is a society steeped in traditions, which overrule common sense in all sorts of ways.  The Malfoy family has always done the contracts, so he shall always do the contracts, even when it makes no sense.

Harry and the floo: Another example of everyone in the WW hiding behind tradition.  Yes, it's stupid and demeaning to the victim, but it's tradition!

Dumbledore: He's confusing.  Is he a manipulative, evil man?  Is he senile?  Is he all good intentions but never checks that what he assumes actually happens?  There are plenty of manip!AD stories out there.  I'm trying to write one who is actually capable of learning.  By the end of the chapter that I just posted, he's actually turned into at least a supporter for Harry rather than an active obstacle.

Thanks for the reviews, and hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

crazyfoxdemon posted a comment on Friday 18th September 2009 8:37pm

I have to say that I'm really enjoying this so far. You've done more then most authors would if they tried to write this in that you've actually explained what, why, and, more importantly, how this is all happening. While still keeping the story interesting. I can't wait to read more of it and hope that future chapters are just as enjoyable.

djo posted a comment on Wednesday 16th September 2009 6:41pm

Another great chapter - it's not funny how the 'dark side' is eliminating itself from the picture...
Looking forward to more!

Susan Burton posted a comment on Wednesday 16th September 2009 12:40pm

Very interesting story. I especially like the way you have portrayed Snape, the Malfoys and Dumbles. It's good to see him being brought down a peg or two. Looking forward to the next chapter. Kudos for slapping Ron.

Sonicdale posted a comment on Tuesday 15th September 2009 8:24am

Ya know, Crys, I've been so far removed from this story that it is so refreshing to read a slight "harem" fic that doesn't degrade into a smut fest or revamp the same cliches over and over. Good on ya for that.

As for the rest, I'm glad to see the story angling towards the ending that you have been foreshadowing.

I also like reading a boorish Ron. I've read all kinds of characterizations for him - and this one, while sometimes more fannish than canon, reminds me of a couple of friends of mine that were instantly jealous of anything that didn't happen to them. Nice touch.

Good work. Looking forward to more.

Crys replied:

Michael10 posted a comment on Tuesday 15th September 2009 4:02am

Slap him again! Slap him again!

Nice. keep up the great work

Prince Charon posted a comment on Tuesday 15th September 2009 3:53am

Very interesting, that.

Thank you for updating.

More soon, please.