wolfwood posted a comment on Sunday 15th May 2011 9:15pm
I have to agree with most of the comments you put int he epilogue, I liked everything except the last couple chapters. Quickly and quietly killing off the girl who did like him, and leaving him alone at the end, a disappointing ending that leaves the story without a feeling of resolution. No one was particularly happy, or sad, just apathetic.
wolfwood posted a comment on Sunday 15th May 2011 6:40pm
I have to agree with most of the comments you put int he epilogue, I liked everything except the last couple chapters. Quickly and quietly killing off the girl who did like him, and leaving him alone at the end, a disappointing ending
LordSia posted a comment on Tuesday 3rd May 2011 7:05pm
Perhaps they should have suggested that the seemingly irrational governors be checked for the mysterious "plague"? You can never be to careful, after all.
Great fic, rereading it for the... Third time, I think.
... I need a life.
akki8343 posted a comment on Friday 29th April 2011 10:25am
A really nice story
timunderwood9 posted a comment on Thursday 7th April 2011 7:41pm
Nah, Daphne dying was sad, but in a reasonably good way. And while there is a strong appeal to the whole heroic romance concept, reasonably speaking expecting people to have their lives settled before turning 20 is stupid.
The problem with canon in the end was that it had everyone in permanent relationships without being a heroic romance story--- which means everyone is annoyed because they are in the wrong permanent relationships.
Despite being a Harmony shipper I actually have something of a soft spot for the Hermione/Neville pairing--- the brilliant girl with the shy boy with a learning disability who grows up to become a total badass. I'm not really aware of any major stories with that as the primary pairing, but I'm almost tempted to write one myself.
Nah my formal objection to the story here is Snape should have been put permanently off the streets years earlier than that. And someone ought to have killed Ron earlier too....
timunderwood9 posted a comment on Thursday 7th April 2011 5:11pm
Reasonably good stuff here I think. I've actually read most of the stuff in Odd Ideas (its just one of those things you hit iteratively, don't read through it all at once, but a bunch of stories, and then two weeks later come back, etc).
I like how you are doing this, and sort of getting to see how the interaction develops will be interesting.
Rage and Light posted a comment on Thursday 24th March 2011 4:57am
Having read this again for the first time in a while I still do not understand why you had to destroy a great story with such a bad ending, usually I do not complain about such things but I just don't understand why you killed daphne off and then had tracy turn around after seemly getting so close to harry and taking nearly all his stuff. I can understand her wanting to be free but it looked like before the fight she had fallen for harry the same as with daphne. So why did you do it like this?
midevildle posted a comment on Sunday 20th March 2011 2:46am
Late to the party I know, but a reviews a review.
Excellent story, I loved the portrayal of the characters and the way you tackled the inept system of laws. Thank you for writing, I'll be moving on to your other works now.
uvarunr posted a comment on Friday 7th January 2011 1:34pm
This story was great at building up tension, even rage, within the reader, and absolutely terrible at releasing it. You allowed Harry, Hermione, and the girls to endure one outrageous abuse after another, and NO justice--not even a single moment--was delivered.
We didn't get to see Malfoy get his comeuppance (save a brief flashback); we didn't get to see Ron eviscerated and sent to prison; we didn't get to see Snape die a gruesome and well-deserved death (he went free?!); for God's sake, we barely even saw what happened between Harry and Voldemort.
This is a narrative failure of epic proportions. Not only is there no happy ending (this is a *tepid* ending at best), but you simply failed at telling your story. The events that the story *demanded* either weren't narrated directly or didn't happen at all. So much potential lost.
Please go back to the midway point in this story and rewrite it. You owe it to yourself and every single one of your readers.
avidreaderbz posted a comment on Wednesday 29th December 2010 3:07am
Really really good story :)
normalguycap posted a comment on Sunday 21st November 2010 10:11am
I feel the need to expand on what I said. I honestly didn't expect to get a response at all anyway since it seems most authors here don't write frequently and some stories have been abandoned for awhile.
I was upset, because you really attracted my attention and imagination that I couldn't stop reading. I wanted to find out what happened next because I truly enjoyed the story you presented, but I do feel unsatisfied as a reader due to the final three chapters.
The ending sequence after the battle seemed incredibly abrupt, no doubt from the shorter chapters and I did not get the feeling of a happy ending by any means if there was one intended (most likely not). It's a combination of failing to meet my expectations and coming to terms with that.
Now yes, you accounted for all the villains, but I am refering to the Malfoys and Snape in particular. They all tormented Harry and crew deeply for a long time in the story without any real retribution. Yes, Lucius was cut down by many curses, but he got in a shot with more 'finality' to it. In a way, one could argue he got that last laugh by what he did. He was also cut down namelessly, reducing the significance of the act. Draco, actually, I think I missed that fact he went to jail. I don't understand why they let Snape get away for 2 years. To me, he was never really punished, just removed until the epilogue and mentioned in passing.
What happened to them were so abrupt or passive that readers couldn't enjoy it. It was like they got reduced to the same effect as an unknown minion dying. Voldemort's death was fine because we didn't see him during the story at all. He never actively tormented the good guys, so his relatively small death had the appropriate effect. However, for the world of fantasy, most enemies that play a large role have an almost equally large demise. I don't have a sense of closure here and that is what's most upsetting. You gave them dramatic evil scenes, but didn't balance the scale. You're right that you present an amount of realism, but we don't read stories, especially fanfiction, for realism do we?
I, of course, would have loved to see Harry end up with someone, especially Daphne and Tracey! "Sometimes the hero doesn't end up with the girl" is only made true by writers like yourself that make it that way. This can't really apply to the real world as heroes has a subjective meaning there. So we must turn to the world of fantasy, and in that world yes, the hero in nearly all cases ends up with the girl or at least a happier ending. Him being Minister doesn't strike me as a good position because we were never given incling that he would actually enjoy that and knowing Harry as we do probably took the job out of obligation or a sense of duty. Voldemort being gone and most of his friends surviving is almost always a given in any story. At minimum, the epilogue didn't communicate a sense of real happiness in Harry. Things were merely, 'good' and I believe some potential was lost.
I should repeat that the reason I did not like this story, ultimately, was because it enthralled me so and then delivered what I regard as a subpar ending considering what you had built up to that point. Was it perfect before the ending? Of course not, with minor things like repeated lines and some spelling errors, but nothing earth shattering.
I will continue to enjoy your other work, especially your humor ficlets. I think my favorite of yours is your HP/NT story.
normalguycap posted a comment on Sunday 21st November 2010 3:36am
That was a god-damned terrible ending. You had incredible build up, but NONE of the villains got satisfactory punishments. This story was a tease and then a let down.
Oh? I thought all the villians had a justified ending. Voldy decapitated by Harry, Lucius torn to shreds by 20 students, most of the rest of the Death Eaters captured and in prison, Draco already in prison, Snape (despite outrageous claims of having "helped") under investigation by everyone under the sun, and even AD has been marginalized. What relevant villian wasn't accounted for?
Now, it wasn't dramatic. Is that actually the gripe? Despite that, I think it's at least marginally realistic.
Either way, sorry you didn't like it.
Abraxan posted a comment on Tuesday 7th September 2010 6:43am
LOL - I see Mr. Joyero's reputation is getting around! I'm enjoying your story!
Adam posted a comment on Wednesday 25th August 2010 2:48pm
Ok this started as a very nice story you brought everything along very well. but the ending leaves me at a loss. the girl who seems to genuinly wanted him dies, and the other decides to shaft him. I am aware that she gives back a portion, but still. Then to wrap it all up, he ends no better than when he started. it would seems to be that by winning he lost.
All in all nice story by dissapointing ending.
loretta537 posted a comment on Thursday 22nd July 2010 8:15am
this was a good story
LKK posted a comment on Saturday 26th June 2010 1:33am
I quite liked it. It's nice to see a fic where Harry does not get the girl but still manages to defeat Voldemort. The unusual pairings work in your favor as well. I like how you upheld Harry's sense of honor through it all. Great fic!
thanks for the review
RavePenguin posted a comment on Thursday 10th June 2010 10:01pm
I started reading this story yesterday and just finished it now. It was so captivating that I only stopped reading for work and food >.<
On the serious side, I felt that you overused some phrases occasionally. The one that sticks out the most was the phrase "Flashed a bright smile." It just something that I noticed and you might want to keep in mind, but it didn't really detract from the story at all so I didn't really mind. Just noticed is all ^_^
On the positive side, I really like the way you ended it. I've read plenty of fan fictions where Harry gets the girl in the end and everything is great with only a few minor losses. Not that there's anything bad about those types of endings, it's just nice to read something different if you know what I mean ^_^
I would have preferred it if you fleshed out the epilogue a little more. But I like how you didn't actually say what his position was until the very end. It was a great way to build suspense. That's something that the past few chapters have all had in common that i really enjoyed. While it's usually easy enough to guess the major plot points like "Voldemort dies" and "Harry probably lives"(emphasis on the probably >.< ) I never knew how you were going to do anything.
Sorry for such a long review, but I only ever give a review if either I really liked it, or if I really hated it. And in both cases, I usually have a lot to say. I hope that my review helps you in any way ^_^
All in all, a great story. I can't wait to read some more of yours!
Glad you enjoyed it, but please, don't forgo life's necessities just to read my fic!
Really? I used that phrase multiple times? Huh. Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
Yeah, I set out on this one to not go down the well-worn path on some issues. "The hero gets the girl" is one cliche I was trying to avoid.
I'm happy that you enjoyed my level of unpredictability. Thanks for the review!
jalva200 posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd June 2010 11:31pm
wow feel so cheated
started ok went to ah ends shitty
jalva200 posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd June 2010 11:21pm
DAPHS DEAD NOOOO!
jalva200 posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd June 2010 11:06pm
hate ron so hoope he dies