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wolfkin posted a comment on Tuesday 13th October 2009 7:23am

I do so hope that, after all her teasing and waiting that Daphne isn't dead. That would be a majorly disappointing end to a very enjoyable story.

As for voiding the contracts, I always figured you'd have a way for that to be done. The one way I thought would be pretty neat I got the idea for when Harry and the girls went to register their marriages. If Harry could scorch a counter top that had been repeatedly charmed to indestructible, I thought he could ask for the master copy of the chattel contract and torch it. That should destroy the contract and its copies via the protean charm. On the other hand, I suppose that's too simple.

Anyway, can't wait for the next part.

Kathleen posted a comment on Monday 12th October 2009 11:56am

Yahoo!!!
You really had me in suspense there. Brilliant idea, by the way, to do it all from that Revenclaw's point of view.

Crys replied:

Glad you liked the different PoV.

Thanks for reading.

Anthony May posted a comment on Monday 12th October 2009 3:10am

Brilliant, I hope the next chapter tells the story of the battle in the house. Keep up the great work!!

LoggingInSucksAss posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 11:06pm

I'm so pleased to be reading a fanfic of such high quality that the author wouldn't dare wuss out by having Harry die just to void the chattel contracts.

A cop out like that would only happen on fanfiction.net.

I mean, if it were that easy to void legal contracts, he'd lose his OWL/NEWT scores and have to start over as a first year, probably have to give up any legal claim to the Potter name and and anything left of his parents (including Hagrid's picture book and the cloak)...

{wickedevilgrin}

Crys replied:

You're trying to force-feed me a bunny, aren't you?

Nice try.

amulder posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 10:40pm

Short!

But well done. The different POV makes for a refreshing change, shows the mayhem and confusion, and is of course an interesting writing technique.

But short, darn it. ;-)

thanks for sharing

Vilkath posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 8:38pm

Well an interesting fight, a lot more logic to the battle then most magical fights you see in Harry Potter stories. I am some what disapointed in Harry himself though.. honestly everyone doing a great job being professional, killing their enemies and not just stunning death eaters and harry goes and show boats by asking Tom if he has any last words? The guy is deadly dangerous and Harry himself felt he had next to no real chance of winning.. yet he let him live longer then he had to at great risk to himself and others to make a witty come back?

Crys replied:

Harry's honor got in the way, and it got him killed (momentarily, anyway).

Thanks for reading.

94caddy posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 8:02pm

Daphne?

that1 posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 9:44am

Good deal ... another chapter.
Keep it up!

Sonicdale posted a comment on Sunday 11th October 2009 6:52am

You sneaky, sneaky, sneaky dog.
This was a good cliffie.
I'm glad to see the final battle from a different perspective. Gave it a lot of depth.

Nice work. Good job.

deeniebee posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 4:15pm

Oh wow, very climatic! I love showing the battle through the eyes of someone not intimately connected with Harry and the girls.
I hope you at least have a few more chapters after this, I don't want it to end!

switchhammerhit posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 2:28pm

Well, um, that wasn't what I was expecting. Shorter to be sure, but hoping that the next installment will even things out ( 15,918 word count needed to get back to average ). It appears that Daphne is totally busted up ( out side of a miracle ) and will never know that she is free ( based on the metal clasp [headband possibly] Tracy removed from her hair. I was hoping that the three would live happily ever after. But this fiction so there is always hope ( unless you wish to squash that know ). Third person viewpoint was a very nice touch, but hope that details of the fight inside the house will be shared. Can Snape get squashed now, please! ;)

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 7:21am

Excellent. Were I any more of a cynic, I would expect a short labeling of Dean as a necromancer, which I guess he technically would be. :) Maybe it would be a label he would wear with pride.

Thank you far sharing your work.

Mike (MoA)

Crys replied:

*laugh* Oh, that is a nasty little bunny, Mike.  Throw in Myrtle having a crush on either or both boys . . .

No!  Back!  Bad bunny!

Hawklan posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 5:32am

uhh, good to see the muggleborn didn't forget modern medcine :)

Hypochondriac posted a comment on Saturday 10th October 2009 12:18am

Shorter and weaker then the other chapters but still a good read. I wish you had the CPR revive him rather then the electric shock. There is a reason two paddles are needed. Looks like the Girls are free, I wonder where you will take it from here. To me it looked like Hermione and Neville were becoming close friends

Rage and Light posted a comment on Friday 9th October 2009 10:50pm

No offence but this seemed like a very rushed effort compared to the rest of the story so far, I cannot help but hope you tend to redo this chapter and make it more intune to the rest of the tale.

david

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 9th October 2009 9:05pm

Heh, figures that wizarding ignorance of things non-magicals take for granted, like CPR, could cause some interesting surprises. It was a nicely-described attack and battle, enough that the reader gets the full sense of the struggle without the overwhelming detail of a blow-by-blow description of the fight. I notice that Harry's temporary "death" has managed to end the concubine binding, if Tracey and Daphne want him now, Harry's going to know that it's strictly desire and not compulsion; I reckon he'll not be stupid enough to turn that away. For that matter, 'twould appear that Hermione may well be joining them; that could be quite a private party. Of course, this *will* have to wait until Harry recovers from all of this.

Crys replied:

Thank you, Evan.  You're one of the very few that actually LIKED the different PoV to the fight.

You've spotted the concubine binding thing right.  As for the aftermath . . . well, that's what next chapter's for.

Thanks for reading.

vheritas posted a comment on Friday 9th October 2009 8:42pm

Wow....

Daphne was a total hero and is now free. Is Tracey going to survive? Harry is going to be a mess; will Hermione and he get together? Will Tracey end up with Harry or with Neville?

Keep up the great job!

LynnTerald posted a comment on Friday 9th October 2009 8:09pm

No offense, but the battle between Voldemort and Harry seemed like it could have had more. The rest of the chapter was ok without it.

MagyarEagle posted a comment on Friday 9th October 2009 7:20pm

Chattel was an interesting idea, but the implementation has felt rushed at times, and the plot fairly arbitrary compared to your other fics, and this chapter in particular felt rushed. I felt that the battle with Voldemort was over far too fast, and Harry's miraculous recovery ruined any suspense the section could have had. Overall, the fic has been good, but I still feel that this is not one of your best works. In particular I thought the characters tended to be fairly one dimensional, which I found to be a contrast to Scion of Gryffindor. The story had some excellent moments though, in particular how you set up the relationship with Filius and Harry as friends which was something I hadn't seen before, as well as the portrayal of Hermione. I feel that you fell into the classic trap of moronic Ron (which admittedly was funny), and obstinate Dumbledore. I felt that you could have explored the motivations for their reasoning better, and why other purebloods such as Neville might think differently, especially considering that the other Weasely's didn't view it the same way as Ron did. I'm still curious as to how this fic is going to end, but I strongly encourage you to revise this chapter in particular, which I felt was by far the weakest in an otherwise good fic. Despite the criticism I have enjoyed reading Chattel, I just don't think its quite up to your usual high standard, I've been spoiled by your other stories :)

Crys replied:

You're not the only one who's pointed out how rushed this whole story felt.

I haven't tried to go in depth with the entire thing, just how Harry and the girls deal with the situation as it's been dropped on their heads.

This chapter in particular was from a complete outsiders PoV, which has thrown a lot of readers off.  The emotional impact was different that what everyone's used to.

We could spend hours talking about "falling into the trap" versus "canon" Ron and Dumbledore, but we'll just have to agree to disagree on those two.

Thanks for reading.

gunners posted a comment on Friday 9th October 2009 6:40pm

Cliffy..I hate cliffy.

But then again,its your story.Good chapter.