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miahtech posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 6:50pm

I'm finding this story interesting. Look forward to where you take it.

Jeff Bernstein posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 5:16pm

Good story, it is hard to wait two weeks between chapters (but I guess good writing takes time) Considering Dumbledore's actions so far I am guessing that Harry's funds are not quite as low as he was lead to believe, at least I hope so, since he has three people he has to support

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 3:20pm

Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.

pfeil posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 3:09pm

Good to see Ron remaining in character.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 3:02pm

*chuckle* The poor boy is going to have qutie a time adjusting to these two and the situation he's found himself in. It should be qutie interesting to see how all of them make the best of it; I daresay he's going to need to make some severe adjustments, as will his two concubines.

whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 2:51pm

What a tease that was! Still a good update...I'm glad you went the sensible route with the in-laws being grateful. Pity I can't say the same for Ron. Any chance you're setting him up for a failure with his own significant other?

Looking forward to more.

Crys replied:

> Any chance you're setting him up for a failure with his own significant other?
Who, me?  *innocent whistling* 

I have mentioned I don't like Ron, right?

Thanks for reviewing.

Peter Clark posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 2:43pm

Who would have thought that at the end he would walk into a threesome between Snape, Draco and Great Dane named Phil?

Crys replied:

Not a Great Dane; Phil is a pit bull.

No, sorry, what he saw was nothing quite so disturbing.

dennisud posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 2:10pm

Wow I'm surprised that Hermione Or any 'liberal' wizard or witch would not have already started to change the laws here. But that being the main crux of the story, I see things getting a lot worse for the trio than ever, and I also see hermione becoming a target by Lucius and the DE's maybe imperiusing her parents to try to make her and say add Ginny or Luna chattel contracts too!

But being more real they and the rest of those Harry cares for have become bigger targets now!

dennisud

Crys replied:

The Wizengamot (legislative body) is run by pureblood wizard geezers for the benefit of pureblood wizard geezers.  Any liberalism gets stomped by the establishment, hence a world still living like the Victorian era morality and ignoring the muggle world.

Thanks for reviewing

kb0 posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 1:55pm

It's nice to see this chapter come up. I see Harry still has a lot to learn, but he is learning slowly. It's also good to see T/D helping him do the right thing with little pointers. I also like how you've written Nev.

Nice implication there at the end... ;-)

Kevin

mwinter posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 1:52pm

I hope that Harry is able by way of finding a loop hole or by doing away with the law making hem his wives before or after he destroys Voldmorte

howard kammerer posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 12:58pm

oh that's an evil cliffie! Although I can only imagine that the two girls are wearing nothing but a bow *GRIN*

nice chapter, thanks for the quick update

red

DJ posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 12:46pm

Nice job I like what you are doing eith Ron a jurk but not a mean jurk. Can't wait to see what stoped Harry in his tracks. LOL Keep it up.

James Barber posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 12:13pm

oooh it must be nice to look at two absolutely gorgeous women standing there buck arse naked waiting on their master to come to bed, or are they lying down on the bed!?!

What's this about he only having 12 thousand galleons, seems to me that slipnot or whatever his name was is hiding something or probably stole form him...

Jeffrey Meehan posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 10:52am

Oh please please please update soon

LifeScientist posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 10:39am

Nice cliffy.
Matt

Joey3 posted a comment on Friday 31st July 2009 10:27am

Oh poor young Harry... so much to learn about the wiles of women who are now secure in the knowledge that they are married to a wonderful man.

Ron is being the absolute twit as usual I see.

Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Thursday 30th July 2009 3:14pm

Loving it so far! I really liked the post ball scene with the girls (especially Hermione's reaction to his entrance!) I always found it odd that JKR never had Harry's friends really address his pre-Hogwarts living situation...

"Bars on the windows, you say? How remakable... let's play quidditch."

Keep up the most excellent work.

Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Thursday 30th July 2009 2:44pm

Nice start to the story! I just don't like Ron's attitude... here's to hoping that he drives Hermione into Harry's arms as well! :D

Yunaine posted a comment on Wednesday 29th July 2009 11:01pm

Well written and I'm looking forward to a decent multi-pairing without the constant smut scenes.
You probably already know of it, but 'The Poker Game' by 'Enterprise1701-d' is also a very good story among those lines.

Anyway, on to the critical portion :)

The first chapter contains a rather weird flaw which could be abused by your characters if wanted.
Harry challenges Crabbe and Goyle formally... yet Malfoy interrupts before they can respond. He's also the only one doing anything, with Crabbe and Goyle not saying or doing anything. Basically you have two duels being done without the people challenged having done anything at all. They might be idiots, but they still should've agreed at some point.
The abusing portion is pretty easy: Someone could simply challenge Harry and then, before Harry can react, Ron immediately states that he's Harry's champion. Ron loses, game over.
I just thought it pretty weird so I think the acceptance part was overlooked.

The second chapter was fun as well; I'm only a bit... annoyed at Hermione. I've read a few other reviews but my annoyance goes a bit differently. I'm not worried about her passive nature or anything since she already deduced that their was the choice of those girls going to Malfoy, or to Harry...
What I'm more worried about is Hermione spending time with both girls. It might be because of the nature of the contracts that she if trying to find a way to help them, or it might be because of... well, the thing I absolutely loated in 'The Poker Game'. You already stated that the two girls become Harry's chattel, and that he'll still need a wife. I'm sure you're already following where I'm going with this: I absolutely hope that neither Hermione nor Ginny even comes into that part.
Hell, I personally hope he goes for no wife at all since he already has two chattel anyway; I doubt everyone is forced to marry anyway.
It's more of a personal preference, I guess. I won't bother with detailled reasoning since I would probably cloud it with my own choice anyway :P.

Have fun writing further and keep up the good writing.

Crys replied:

Yes, I have read "The Poker Game" and enjoyed it, even if it did get weird toward the end.

Ah, yes, Draco interrupting before the goons accepted the challenge.  You aren't the first to point this out.  My response is that they didn't object, thereby giving implicit acceptance first to the challenge and then to Draco's championing of them.

Harry won't be forced to marry again later.  As Tracey said, it's just an option for him.

Thanks for reading and for the review.

Jiapa posted a comment on Sunday 26th July 2009 1:59pm

Loads of fun. I'm enjoying getting to know Daphne's and Tracy's personalities, and seeing Harry get all hot and bothered, both in a good way (flirting!?) and a bad way (that poor clerk) is fun too.

I do think he trusted the girls & told them his story awfully fast, but that doesn't disrupt my pleasure in the story, and heck, if it took many many chapters for him to trust them, I'd get bored.