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rgshea96789 posted a comment on Monday 17th November 2014 12:05am

Well done! Nice timeline.

The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 6:44pm

After your wonderful examination of Pureblood-driven laws, specifically that concerning 'chattel wives,' and the tense build up to the Voldemort/Harry confrontation, for me at least, the story fell apart. Using Brad's highly limited pov was irritating and out of context with the rest of the story. Basically, it detracted from what I wanted to know - how Harry and his group were doing, the confrontations with the DEs inside the house, finally meeting Riddle, etc. Handling it through another's pov diminished one of the two primary threads to almost the level of a footnote.

More frustrating than the minimalizing of the battle and defeat of Riddle was the complete dropping of your primary theme: the chattel wives law. Unlike your AN #2, Harry not ending up with Tracey, Daphne and/or Hermione didn't bother me per se. Instead, I wanted to see how this law affected the lives of Harry, Tracey and Daphne after they graduated from Hogwarts and entered 'adult' life. You'd done an excellent job describing the pitfalls, loss of self-identity, and prejudice through most of the story. So, I was shocked when you killed Daphne to eliminate having to do anything later with her. Even more irritating was Harry and Tracey shrugging their shoulders and fabricating a very flimsy scam to get Tracey out of the chattle contract, as if what they went through meant nothing to them. These two decisions - to kill off Daphne and get Tracey out of the contract/marriage caused the rest of your story to become meaningless.

Sorry,but I thought the story was well written and interesting until the battle chapter, then it felt like you lost interest in it. - The Seeker

The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 1:12pm

This should be interesting, since Harry usually in not paired with a pureblood only legal situation. Of course, from an expository standpoint, Harry is the perfect wizard for this to happen to, given his almost complete lack of knowledge about most things 'Pureblood,' not to mention legal or marital. Wonder if there will be a meeting/confrontation with Daphne and Tracey's parents, since this form of contract is unusual and highly one-sided for the wizard. Also, nice way to slam these practices, since 'we've always done it this way' is not a reason for allowing Lucius to broker these arrangements. Excellent start!

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 5:28pm

Good story: worth a read!

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 5:25pm

Oh, now -that- is sad.

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 5:23pm

Now the question: will the relationship remain the same?

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 4:47pm

I like the prank!

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 3:44pm

The story is moving slowly, but the author's writing is good enough that it hasn't been dragging.

I'm waiting for some real action, though.

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 12:29pm

Interesting start to a story with lots of potential.

Noble Korhedron posted a comment on Wednesday 4th June 2014 9:02am

He's the bloody MINISTER?! Frankly it's almost impossible to tell from reading this. I thought he was just Lord Potter, but I suppose you DID say he hadn't a seat in teh Wizengamot...?

Noble Korhedron posted a comment on Wednesday 4th June 2014 8:57am

What sort of spell - apart from the Cruciatus curse - could give your body that much of a 'zap'? #thinking

Crys replied:

I was thinking of something like a contact electrocution spell.  A magical equivalent of a taser / paddles from a defibrillator.

aikawa akihiko posted a comment on Saturday 1st February 2014 2:58pm

this story was very interestng. it's not everyday you can come across a story with this kind of set up without it turning into a bodice-ripper/romance. and even though that was what i thought i was going to be reading, I like that Harry didn't find anything remotely sexy or romantic about the stuation they were in.

I see that there is a lot of whinng about how it didn't have a happily-ever-after. I have to say that i really like the ending for this! the hero did not "get the girl", a troupe that places women as trophies that the hero has earned a right to by doing good. Instead, you kept true to your overall theme that Tracey and Daphne were PEOPLE and not things, with rights and desires of their own. very nice.

TWScott posted a comment on Sunday 29th December 2013 10:14pm

Decent story however there is a MASSIVE flaw. Since the contracts were only legal instead of magical Harry's death would need to be registered in the form of a Death Certificate before the contract could even be thought to be terminated. If the contract was done by magical means yes the stopping of a heartbeat could cancel the contract, but that was not the case. No magical solicator would take the case to press in Wizengamot for fear of starting a series of cases where magical stasis was used to decalre someone 'dead'.

BlameTheNargles12 posted a comment on Saturday 30th November 2013 11:33am

I have two things to say and a question-

1. I really like how you aren't making Ginny a bitchy whore, because there are a lot of people who do that.

2. I now love LOVE Tracey/Daphne/Harry because you wrote this SOOOO well.

3. Is this Neville/Hermione? It seems like it...

Crys replied:

1 & 2: glad you're enjoying it

3: there are definite elements of that in here, but I don't give a definite answer one way or another.  I leave that for you to decide.

Muroshi9 posted a comment on Thursday 19th September 2013 9:56pm

I was really enjoying this story till you went for the tragedy ending. Even if he didn't end up with one of the three that still was no cause to just kill off Daph. Harry was already dead from Voldie's last strike. It could have ended with both girls free. Her death just seems arbitrary. And it wasn't made very clear that he was minister. Just that he had an office and his friends came to talk.

Crys replied:

Daph dying was the plan from the start.  As you pointed out, this was a borderline tragedy.  I wasn't being gratuitously evil, I was trying to point out that not everyone lives happily ever after, even if Harry thinks he's in a pretty good place.

Minister: his secretary called him Minister and he can introduce bills to the Wizengamot.  Okay, I didn't specify Minister of Magic, but I did try to imply it.

thank you for reviewing.

Engrprince posted a comment on Friday 13th September 2013 11:08am

I enjoyed the story except that Harry is not with someone. You have developed a Relationship with three girls showed Harry would be a great husband. One dies and the other two aren't with him. That there is no relationship with some female (Ginny, Susan, Luna, Katie or any other know character) is such a let down takes a lot away from the story. Too Bad

draco6812 posted a comment on Thursday 25th April 2013 3:51am

I love the story but i have to say that that was the dumbest ending. I mean Harry did all that and he ended up alone...or did you put him with ginny?

amsev posted a comment on Thursday 17th January 2013 3:47am

wonderful job on this chapter seeing it from a relative "outsider" namely Brad. This story is awesome! Thank you for writing it.

raven3182 posted a comment on Tuesday 15th January 2013 11:46pm

This is a good story. However, as you noted that some of the other reviewers said, I think the ending was a bit lacking. You do have your argument as to why Harry didn't end up with one of the girls, but it just feels wrong to the reader. You may be right that it probably wouldn't work out that way in real lfe, but this isn't real life, it's a story. And in stories the hero gets the girl, or else the happy ending isn't so happy. Anyways, that point aside, I really enjoyed reading this. You managed to take a situation that is normally used simply for smut and make and intelligent, well developed story. Well done. Thanks for writing!

Gioia posted a comment on Friday 22nd June 2012 2:08pm

I really enjoyed this fic as something other than a smutfest or romance. Smut and romance have their place in some stories, but a premise that involved slavery was not, in my opinion, the best place for either. So your way of handling this was just perfect.

I really do love the Harry Potter series, but the truth is that it was written for kids, which means that a lot of the serious issues are glossed over. As a 30-something mom, I've been bothered by the things that are not pursued to their logical ends: Child abuse, slavery, date-rape potions, etc. - these are real and are all depicted in the HP universe. I therfore appreciated how you took this crackish idea* and used it to look at some of those serious issues, following them through to their logical conclusions. If a world in which those other issues I named are allowed to continue as part of the status quo, a scenario such as you have here does make sense. And if that's a part of their world, what does it say about their people, their customs, and their laws? Very little that's good.

* And just for the record, lest anyone misunderstand, by calling the story premise "crackish," I don't mean that as an insult to either you, Rorschach's Blot, or the idea itself. I'm very fond of crack!fics, especially when an author has the ability to turn them into well thought out, logically scripted stories such as this one.

Thanks for all of your hard work! This was fun. :)

Crys replied:

I agree, smut or romance have a place, but I'm not likely to produce either.

I'm also a parent, and some of the topics in the series also bother me.  The very concept of laughing off a love potion . . .

I didn't take offense.  My personal definition of "crackish" is different, but I see where you were coming from.

Glad you enjoyed the story.