Jace1709 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 2:15pm

I'm afraid i have to agree with a lot of the other reviews. I love all of your fics that you wrote before this, and i was loving this 1 as well up until they went off to the battle... then u kill Daphne, have Tracey get out of the slavery (fair enough) but do it publicy and damage Harry's reputation apparantly, and only give back 'most' of his fortune (THAT i don't get, he saves her, at HER request, from being the Slytherin Sex Toy, and when she gets free decides to keep part of what his parents left him), then have Harry being alone, then all of a sudden he's Minister and there is absolutely no resolution to any of the relationship build up that you had through the ENTIRE story.

This really is a shame cos the fic was shaping up to be a favourite, i was eagerly awaiting seeing it updated on the front page every time i visited, but the last chapters ruined it.

Believe me, i really am sorry to say this, cos i dont like leaving bad reviews, and i really did love all your other work.

Jace

War posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 1:21pm

WTF!!!
This ending just proves how much this story has SUCKED. Weak man realy WEAK a Hundred Drunken Monkeys on Acid could of done this story Better. This read like one of those Round Robin stories. Were the group of people do not talk to each other on how the plot of the story will go. And just type and post what ever they feel like. I stand by my ranking on this story of MAJOR EPIC FAILURE!

Crys replied:

That's what you said at the end of the last chapter.   Why'd you bother to read this one?

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 1:16pm

????????

MPF

Clell65619 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:37pm

- Well... That was odd.

This ending was interesting, though I find myself wondering how they got from where 'One Week Later' ended and this one began...

bonnie posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:32pm

great fic I really liked though I wish Daphne hadn't had to die. The relationships that developed between Harry, Tracy and Daphne was very interesting. I would have liked to have seen what would have happened if everyone had survived. Although I liked how you used the situation to get Tracy out of the chattel marriage and left the possibility alive for a future relationship to develop. All in all a very well done job

David Maddern posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:30pm

Well...okay, I'm going to be completely honest.

Up until the last 3 chapters, it was turning out to be a good fic.

Then, out of nowhere, you pulled a Rowling-Class Deus Ex Machina, and then used what -now at least- looks like a glaringly WIDE loophole in this 'Chattel Bride' idea to free Tracy.

THEN, you made Harry 'Minister', and left it open to wonder which department he's minister off.

Honestly, it seems like you just got tired of the fic, and decided to half-*BLEEP* the last bits to get it over with.

So, score wise, the first 7 chaps - 8/10.

The last three...2/10. Not to be insulting, but even that's generous.

Just calling it like I see it.

Kathleen posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:29pm

LOL!
But come on, this can't be the end!!!

Chuck Rooster posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:50am

Good story. I'm glad you chose not to take the smutty. It made it altogether a much better story!

00_Knight posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:50am

My previous review about being spoiled by other authors in the length of their post, and being and exciting read still stands. You've started out with that, and ended with three short chapters that explain a little if nothing at all. It didn't take me 6 seconds to read through this post!

I don't like to leave bad reviews, ever! Couldn't you do what any other great fanfic author has done when they're just too busy to post, or they've got other real life reasons that take their time and imagination away from a great story, and just not post at all? Instead of doing something amateur like posting deflated chapters that don't really have any flavor at all?

Stringing together the last 3 chapters together is something that could have been done in one post, and would have saved yourself the nonexistent effort to post them separate!

Next time, if you lose interest in your story, abandon it, or don't post on it till you get an idea to take it. Don't just murder it! You'll lose a lot of readers that way.

Either way, you've "officially" taken a story that had promise, and killed it slowly, even though it only takes about 30 minutes to read the last 3 chapters, total(including internet lag)

Final opinion on this story is, Epic Fail!

Tora58 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:23am

Okay, that was almost unnecessary...

If you didnt want to finish the story properly you should have just killed it.

Those last 3 chapters were no where near up to the quality of the others.

Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:19am

I don't know what to say except right now at this moment, at this time, I really really really Hate you!!! How can you do that to me uhmm I mean us!! LOL

Crys replied:

You hate me?   Ouch.

Hey, if you're referring to the teasing between the three, then you can go with the theory that Harry's actually dating both of them.

whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:16am

Understated, but excellent. You sure do like torturing your readers a bit, though, don't you? These last couple of updates were departures from the story's normal narrative, and I have to admit that I'm not a huge fan of that particular detail.

That being said, I still enjoyed both the epilogue and the overall story immensely. I'm very curious to see what your next project will be.

Crys replied:

Thank you.   Glad you enjoyed it.

Luke posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:03am

Sorry, but the last 3 chapters let me think that you got very desinterested in the story and just wanted to cut it short.

It's clearly your right to do so, but its sad anyway, since it started so well.

brad posted a comment on Wednesday 21st October 2009 10:25am

I can't believe how stupid I can be, sometimes.

I wrote this in my earlier review:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I appreciate how Dobby could pop into Malfoy manor and poison Riddle ... but, if they knew where Voldemort was staying, why did they wait until he moved to the Dolohov estate? That seemed to be a cusp of your story - Moody's discovering that intelligence, everyone moving into high gear and planning the assault - which doesn't seem that important, retrospectively, if they/Harry knew where Riddle was all the time anyway.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

But I was an idiot, can I retract the question?

It only just occurred to me why the timing of the battle was as it was ... because Dobby DIDN'T have access to the Dolohov estate, and the plan to poison Voldemort was already in play, Harry was forced to schedule the final battle to take place sometime in a small window of opportunity/time when the absence of the poison would take effect. That's why he had to refer to the textbook in 'Raid and Ron'. His hand was forced by Voldemort's relocation, he had no choice but to launch the attack for when he did.

D'uh. Sorry for the stupidity. Maybe you could have elaborated on the logistics of the thing with an extra sentence or two in the conversation that Tracey overheard? Or maybe I'm the only dunce in your readership. Anyway, I get it now. :-)

The 'one week later' timestamp seems to be too short for everything that transpired, although Harry's courtroom appearance in OotP happened fairly fast, didn't it? Still, one would think that Tracey would have to go to considerable effort (and expend significant time) in setting up her law suit, particularly if she had to overcome the appearance (even if negated by Harry's death?) of being Potter property with no rights.

Crys replied:

Exactly right on the timing.   You're the only one to comment on it, so either they all think I'm a total idiot and don't mention it, or everyone got it.   Personally, I thought it was a kinda subtle point, so I'm going with the thought that you're a genius :)

Yes, the lawsuit was quick, but not unreasonable.   As you said, court cases can be quick to set up.   Additionally, Harry did not fight the case and so it wasn't a long, drawn out legal battle.

Thanks for reading.

Stick97 posted a comment on Tuesday 20th October 2009 8:43am

Hmmm...

I wonder. Do you read comics? Because almost no one stays dead in comics. I could see a little intrigue going on allowing some characters to show back up, no longer as chattel.

Great story, but I do admit the last two chapters seemed rushed. Hope you didn't let all of the bashers bother you.

Setty posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 11:11pm

*sighs* The story was nice. You just had to rush the ending the ruin it.
After the first few chapters I was actually waiting for more updates, now I'm disappointed. :(

Jack Butler posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 11:07pm

That was vaguely unsatisfying for some reason. I can't put my finger on it, though, but it was.

Rob8 posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 10:47pm

Interesting twist, and well done, however like some of the other reviewers this and the previous chapter do see a tad rushed... the lead up to this point was great, and one of the better reads for a long time.
Would have been nice to have seen the court case played out a bit, as well as the funeral for Daphne...
but all in all the ending (if this is the end) is solid
Well Done....
Looking forward to the next story

Jonathan Langford posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 2:16pm

I hope this isn't the ending of the story. It would be bittersweet, and kind of fitting, but...ow.

bill wall posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 8:13am

a surpise.