By Crys
Reviews
Patches posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 9:41pm
This is very interesting. The complications are truly creative. Thanks for an interesting view in an archaic custom that probably has some roots in history. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. pms
Grozt posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 9:29pm
Ahh yes, Uncle Phil............. What Te..??????
William Martin posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 9:25pm
Agin, thanks for a great story. I lmost feel sorrier for Harry than the girls. They seem more ready to accept their fate than Harry is.
I like the way you're writing this. I can feel Harry's anger myself.
I know what I'd like to see happen next, but I'll wait and see how you write it. 8>)
dadek posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 7:41pm
I enjoyed this chapter as much as the previous. Though this one seems a little more rushed. I like how Harry is trying to adapt to the situation and still finds himself clueless. Also, having a pure blood trying to explain all this is a great idea, though I suspect Hermione will show up with a book about it at some point. I think the last few paragraphs could have been fleshed out more, but I agree they did not need to be. I like how this story is carried by the conversation and reactions of the characters. I feel the issue of the Potter crest and family history and tradition should play a bigger role, given that this story revolves around tradition and Harry's relation to it. Also I agree with some of the other reviews that Hermione is playing a oddly, seeing as she should be trying to free them or be much more involved with Harry in terms of their treatment. I like who the other pure bloods seem to take the situation for granted, meaning that while its rare it does happen in the world. Ron and the other boys are acting exactly like hormone driven boys who don't have to face the reality should be. Yes they are not being tactful but who cares? Will the magic of the ceremony changes things as in: will Harry have to be careful what he says? will it change Tracy and Daphne's personality or just magically subjugate their will to Harry? Both are showing quite a bit of freedom especially when Tracy apologizes for her master, but that is ok given that he is not their master yet, will that behavior change. All in all very well written and I definitely want this story to continue. I enjoy your writing and encourage you to take a little longer with the chapters, this story is developing well and I look forward to reading more of it.
Crys replied:
I'm trying to make this story character driven. I'm glad you're enjoying that aspect of it.
Hermione. She's spent some "off camera" time with them, so she can see it from their point of view. She knows she can't free them, so she's keeping an eye on how Harry's treating the girls. No problems on that count, of course.
Fortunately, the ceremony is, legally, more of a transference of property than anything else. The girls will still retain their minds and self-control. Just lose their legal rights.
Yes, they're both showing a lot of personal freedom and initiative. But that is because they know Harry wants them to act that way. These are smart girls. They'll do what they think Harry wants them to do.
Glad you're enjoying the story.
darthloki posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 7:22pm
"My apologies; I thought you were referring to my superficial appearance. As you apparently were not, I am even happier that you consider me handsome. In the same vein, I must say that you are as lovely as ever, Luna."
*smiles* Very nice.
I love Harry's magic exploding out in whirlwinds and flames near the end of this chapter... especially since the desk had anti-damage charms :D
whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 6:57pm
Brilliant update, I'm really happy to see another chapter from this story so soon.
Looking forward to more.
noylj posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 6:46pm
One can only assume the ass Snape shows up (or his friends with the dark mark). Too bad Moldie isn't gone, it would reduce the number of enemies to a more controllable number.
Will Hermy get her head out of ass, smack Ron, and marry Harry? Will Harry get his head out of his ass and start being the master the girls need to protect them? Will you be able to update more frequently?
Crys replied:
Really, noyjl, if I answered all of your questions, what would be the point of continuing to post the story? Suffice to say, it's a mix of "yes" and "no".
[Crys ducks the rotten fruit being thrown at him.]
As to the last one: I can, but I'll continue posting every other Friday.
Glad you're enjoying the story.
Mathew McCrillis posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 5:58pm
Very nice, love this chapter as well!
kb0 posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 5:39pm
Haha! I loved the scene in the office at the Ministry with the young clerk. Brilliant! :) Harry is learning, slowly. It makes one wonder just how much Harry doesn't know about the Wizarding world. And of course, you have have to leave us with a cliffie at the end. I look forward to the next installment. :)
Kevin
PopeYodaI posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 4:13pm
Booo! Why did you need to include the paragraph and a half of emo in here... this should be Harry Potter! Irritating, bull-headed, "Everyone who doesn't like what I have to say can go blow me" Harry Potter. Make him a bit more... forceful. Unyielding. He's giving in to the inevitable backlash of pure-bloods not liking what he has as opinions regarding slavery, but he killed Voldemort already, man! His opinion should be regarded as very near the word of god or, at least, that of a hero. What does he care if his opinions are unpopular so long as he lives true to himself and his ideals? He can treat Tracy and Daphne as humans and if anyone takes that to mean 'toys' and tries to act on it, he goes in and breaks their legs. Eventually, people will get the hint.
3/5 thus far plot-wise, but 4/5 thus far with how you manage to present the scenarios. I'm also a bit disappointed with your use of the word 'Yule' (cliche as hell) as opposed to just making it a regular ball.
Looking forward to your future chapters
Crys replied:
Um, no, he hasn't killed Voldy. His Snakiness has just spent a couple quiet years.
Harry doesn't care what everyone thinks of him. The girls and Nev are the ones trying to moderate his behaviour.
Sorry you dislike the Yule part, but this is a couple days before Christmas and the WW is buried deep in traditions.
Glad you're enjoying it.
E5150 posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 3:31pm
I'd like to see Daphne and Tracey's personalitys fleshed out a bit more, but I imagine that will come with time.
I also find it a bit weird that Tracey takes it upon herself to ask for forgiveness for Harry from the clerk. Seems rather out of a place for a slave.
Really good story though, I'm hooked and await more!
Crys replied:
She's doing what she considers damage control. It isn't a big deal, but just something simple she can do to try to keep the public opinion of her master as high as possible.
I don't see it as odd, really, anymore than a senior aide doing something similar for a high-profile citizen.
Glad you're enjoying it.
Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 2:46pm
Well done, though a bit surprised that Hermione lets Ron continue to be such a boor at times, and wonder just how long it'll go on. Sweet momwnt with Luna there, and really enjoyed her and Harry's interactions, as well as his with Daphne and Tracey, and what might come of all that later. Got to say, killer last line there, and definitely looking forward to the next part. Sad to see that Draco seems unwilling or unable to listen, as he got his butt kicked bad, and yet can still mouth off the next day, he must be living in the land of confusion for sure.
Crys replied:
Glad you enjoyed the scene with Luna. It was a blast to write her at the ball.
re: Draco. De Nile isn't just a river in Egypt.
Ron and Draco will never learn. Much as they'll both deny it, they have far more similarities than differences.
Glad you're reading
pfeil posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 2:07pm
Great to see Hermione loosening up and enjoying spending time with Harry's (other) girls.
pfeil posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 1:55pm
I'm glad to hear Hermione disgusted with Ron shortly after finding out that Harry still needs a wife. After all, she'll need to keep an eye on him...
brianjt posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 1:26pm
I really like this story so far. All of the characters seem very natural and believable.
I might have suggested a wedding ring on a chain instead of a hair clasp, but all in all a most enjoyable story,
howard kammerer posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 12:19pm
oh man, you can't leave us there! *GRIN*
Excellent chapter, although I'm kind of surprised Hermione hasn't had more problems with Harry owning the girls.
Looking forward to more
red
Crys replied:
Hermione doesn't like it, no question there. But she's also spent some "off camera" time with the girls and understands their point of view. Also, can't blame Harry. Not like that poor guy has had any options thus far.
Glad you're enjoying it.
Peter Clark posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 10:01am
I like this story a lot! Please continue!
Silo posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 8:52am
i say make it so thay form a soul bond withc will [censored] over all thoes taht harry hates and [censored] malfoy right up the ass
Crys replied:
I've filtered your post a bit. Please moderate your language a little.
This won't be a soul-bond fic. There are already plenty out there like that. This is simply "Harry owns Tracey and Daphne".
Malfoy will be taken care of. He's his own worst enemy, that one.
BJH posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 7:49am
That final line certainly does not bode well.
I'm rather surprised that as a Mark of Ownership, Harry didn't chose rings. The girls are allowed to wear "wedding" rings but rings with the Potter seal should certainly be appropriate.
Well written chapter and I like how the two girls are showing seperate and independent personalities, rather than being simpler to write clones of each other with different hair.
BJH
werewont posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 10:38pm