By Crys
Reviews
mwinter posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 9:25am
I have to say the story was well written. I meaning the grammer and spelling. I have enjoyed most of the story. Wished Harry had a bit more back bone when coming to dealing with Malfoy and Snape. But the last two chapters have left me dry in the mouth thinking that these while could go with what you wrote just don't seem to fit with the story. At least in my opion. I did see the death of Harry however breif would lead to the girls being set free. If you have another chapter now I see based on the story that your setting up Harry and Hermione (possibly). But the last two chapters just don't sit well with me. Well even though i wish for a different ending the author is the one who wrote. Thanks for posting.
Brian64 posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 8:40am
Well... after 7 thoroughly enjoyable chapters the last two have left me thoroughly depressed. I haven't felt this let down by a fic since I read Clell's Marriage Contracts story.
Hey, I admit it, I'm selfish. I read for my own enjoyment, not so I can bask in the awesomeness of an author's wordsmithing. Funnily enough, I don't enjoy reading about Harry's love interests getting either raped (as in Clell's fic above), or killed (as in this one).
Was the fic well-written and believable? Absolutely. Was a death telegraphed (before chapter 8)? Not that I picked up, but I did spot that Harry's brief death would break the chattel contract even before Tracey reached for her hair clip.
I think I understand why you split chapter 8 and 9. I can't see you doing it just to get a whole bunch of 'oh noes, don't kill Daphne!' reviews, so I'm pretty sure this was your take on the "your cat's on the roof.." method of breaking bad news to your readers.
Well, since the tale is still marked WIP, I'll assume there is more to come. I can only hope it's not going to be one of those 10 years later epilogues where they meet up again and decide to start dating (after the best of their youth is gone). I think that kind of RL style mediocrity would suck what goodness was left out of your fic.
Panaka posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 8:08am
Review if this is the last chapter:
not very predictable, original ending to the story. Very nice.....
And totally lame, assuming this is the end. Feels fabricated to by 'something not expected' and leaves me with a feeling that there's a lot missing. Harry went trough all that and is left with an Elf, an old house and some money. Where is reward. Real life can suck, but this isn't real life.
If this isn't the end:
I hope you have something pretty spectacular lined up for the epiloque, because this sucks as an ending.
gunners posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 7:25am
Hmmmmm.....just had to kill Daphne did you?
Well its your story,though a bit sad that the ending finished without Harry getting together with either of his wife,as one is dead and the other is scorned upon by society.
A very short chapter to wrap it all up.
Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 7:19am
Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.
Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 6:25am
Ok. Nice plot flip. Upon a re-read, all is clear. You left us with something of a cliffie last week and now you leave us with perhaps yet another. Looking forward to the resolution.
Soothingmadness posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 6:07am
Well that and the last chapter were very large let downs.
HopelessFan posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 5:39am
I can't believe you took even the last bit of possible sex out of it :-p
well written :-)
Ian Drimes posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:58am
Wow, awesome fic. I really enjoyed it. Loved the ending, never saw it coming.
ghanima posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:57am
I really enjoyed this story. Your ideas on the 'wizarding' legal system were most interesting.
I thought about requesting an epilogue but I hope you end this here, with a pleasant twist and a bit to think about.
Overall a highly enjoyable read. Well done.
Crys replied:
Glad you enjoyed it.
Sorry, but there's another chapter (also very short) coming. Hopefully it won't detract from the ending that you liked.
Kathleen posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:28am
I am so glad you didn't have them just fall into each othet's arms! But now i must admit I want them to get together!
Crys replied:
*laugh*
You're glad they didn't get together, but now you want them to get together?
That IS what you just said, right? :)
Galadrion posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:28am
And, to War:
I think you're missing the point that Crys was making with this story: the Wizarding world is fundamentally irrational and has internalized prejudice and scapegoating inextricably into their legal and social system. Draco, in canon, has taken potentially lethal action against Harry and his friends. Snape has carried out a campaign of (mental and emotional) torture which is criminal in its own right, not to mantion a complete violation of any sort of professional and educational ethics. Ron has shown himself in the past to be susceptible to this sort of (un)thinking: given the events in this story which led up to the confrontation, Ron could very well react that way, and Molly's first instinct has always been "my family, right or wrong".
No, the story is quite definitely depressing, but it is not inconsistent with the characterizations in canon.
Simon13 posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:19am
I have to admit this totally not how I was expecting this story to keep going two chapters ago. I'm a little upset that you killed off Daphne, but I get it. That was the point, probably.
The trick with Tracey getting her freedom back was a good one and I didn't see it coming.
Altogether you turned what seemed to be evolving into a !Harem-Harry into a decent story, so here's an "'At a Boy!" for you ;).
Crys replied:
Thank you :)
Galadrion posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 4:16am
>.< Ouch. Bit of a downer ending there - although it's perfectly believable. Still, ouch.
Crys replied:
Glad you thought it was believable. Not a happily ever after ending, that's true.
Thanks for reviewing.
War posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 3:38am
This Story has sucked so much from the start of Chapter 3. What looked to be a very promising story has been a HUGE let Down. Ron tries to rape Hermione and he gets a letter from his mother for the trouble. Draco tries to kill Harry and all he gets for the atemp is a slap on the wrist. Snap tries to rape one of Harry's Girls and not a thing is realy done about. It was like you just did not give a damn about what you were doning with this story. Were you even following a plan or were you just pulling things out of your butt? This story was a MAJOR EPIC FAILURE in my opinion.
Crys replied:
Draco tried to kill Harry multiple times, supported a terrorist, tried to kill multiple others, cast multiple Unforgiveables against innocents and nothing was done to him (or his family fortune).
AD screwed with Harry's life for a decade and a half and Harry names a kid after him.
Snape actively tried to hurt Harry in about a dozen different ways hundreds of times and Harry names a kid after him.
The only truly and utterly faithful characters: Hedwig died and Hermione marries a red-headed idiot. Dobby, arguably another faithful friend, died. Harry ends up with a stalker fan-girl.
JKR didn't even try to punish many of the "bad guys" nor reward the "good guys".
Is the Harry Potter series of novels by JKR also a major epic failure?
Before you rant at me, there is another chapter. Several characters' fates get mentioned.
tony s posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 3:23am
I hate to say this....but now i'm extremely lost. what the hell just happened?
Crys replied:
Voldy died, Harry won and survived, Tracey is free. The opted not to pursue a relationship.
'Kay, a bit terse, but that's the gist of it.
KrzaQ posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:56am
I didn't like that chapter. I generally hate bad endings, so I guess this isn't a surprise.
Crys replied:
Sorry you didn't like it, but I don't see that as a "bad" ending. Harry's free of Voldy & Tracey is free of Harry.
More importantly, though, I thought that was an honest ending.
Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:30am
This is/was a great story. IWould love to see where it goes from here. I liked the way that Tracy came to Harry and his reaction was not unexpected even though you could tell that he was feeling her throughout the story but he wanted it to be real. Please if you have the time continue this story or write a sequel. I'm sure there are others like me that appreciate good writing in this world and ours.
DJ posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 2:20am
A bit of an odd end, is that the end? I feal a bit sad for Harry, however this was a good fic thanks for writting.
Cenladil posted a comment on Friday 16th October 2009 9:27am