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DWA20 posted a comment on Friday 30th May 2008 12:41pm

Voldie and the DE's are tunneling into "Hogwarts". Suddenly alarms sound, a mechanized voice intones, "Evacuate the premises! The reactor has been compromised! Evacuate the premises! IMMEDIATELY!"

Just before his world explodes, Voldie's last thought is, "I knew I should have taken that right turn at Albuquerque"

DWA20 posted a comment on Friday 30th May 2008 12:34pm

Voldie apparates onto a major thoroughfare in the center of London -- or that's what he intends. Unfortunately the road is under construction and he lands in the ashphalt truck and is laid into the roadway, leaving a Voldie shaped speed bump.

Harry grins as he erects a warning sign, "Dip In Road"

Crys replied:

Bunny added to file (337, I think).   Thank you.

DWA20 posted a comment on Friday 30th May 2008 12:22pm

Jonah and the Big Fish
=/=
Voldie and the Giant Squid

Voldie can't get into Hogwarts, remembers story of how Jonah got to Ninevah. Decides to travel via squid stomach.

Squid gets diarrhea instead of nausea.

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Wednesday 21st May 2008 7:23pm

Voldemort thought that he finally had Harry Potter cornered in Ireland---at a place called "Fowl Manor."

Unfortunately, he didn't know who lived at Fowl Manor. Artemis Fowl the Third didn't _like_ people like Voldemort. Neither did his friends---Butler, Juliet, and LEPrecon officer Holly Short.

Ooops.

Crys replied:

I'm sure that's a reference to something, but I'm afraid I can't place it.

DarkestSecret posted a comment on Wednesday 14th May 2008 9:21am

So I have to say, having all these bunnies is a little frustrating. Here's another:

Harry watched in horror as the members of the Order of the Phoenix made their final stand against the Death Eaters. He turned to join the battle just in time to hear Voldemort hiss "Say goodbye, Nephradora!"

Furious, Tonks raised her wand. She hadn't been kidding when she had said that she'd KILL anyone who used her first name, and dark lord or no, Voldemort was no exception.

Harry and everyone else watching winced as one. Even Voldemort may not have deserved such a painful death.

Crys replied:

Scene added to the file.   Thanks.

DarkestSecret posted a comment on Tuesday 13th May 2008 10:39am

And another....

"Congratulations, my lord. You are now a full-fledged vampire, with all of our powers and abilities." Severus Snape announced, smirking.

"Excellent. Surely I'll be able to defeat Potter now!" Voldemort replied. "Anything I should know?"

"Nothing I can think of, except stay away from garlic, but since you won't be craving normal food, that shouldn't be a problem."

Voldemort nodded and, confident in his invulnerability, opened the door to step outside and find and defeat Potter once and for all.

And promptly keeled over.

"Oh, and stay out of the sun light, it really does kill us." Snape said, turning to see the pile of smoldering robes. "Oops."

Crys replied:

Scene added to the file.   Thanks.

DarkestSecret posted a comment on Tuesday 13th May 2008 10:15am

Sorry, thought of another one.

Voldemort finally had what he believed to be his greatest and most simple plan yet- He had heard from young Malfoy that Potter's mudblood friend Granger was responsible for telling Potter how to foil all of his evil and ingenious plans.

So all he had to do was kill Granger, and Potter would go back to living off of luck.

Without stopping to think about it, Voldemort apparated to the exact place of Hermione Granger....

And promptly died of a heart attack as Hermione stepped out of the shower, having never seen a naked woman in his life.

Hermione frowned. "I didn't think I looked that bad."

Crys replied:

Scene added to the file.   Thanks.

DarkestSecret posted a comment on Tuesday 13th May 2008 8:05am

erm... I don't know if you take bunnies from random strangers who haven't reviewed before because they never read this story- but here's a couple. I won't be crushed if you change them or don't use them- you have my permission

**

It had all been planned. Voldemort had found a way to remove the wards surrounding Hogwart's field, giving him access to the school he so badly wanted to inflitrate. With a pop he apperated...

And fell 50 feet to his death, when he was then speared by the Slytherin flag on the Quidditch pitch. Oops. Those apparation coordinates must have been slightly off.

**

Voldemort cackled evilly- this was the last night Harry Potter would spend on the face of the earth! And just to be sure, he had his Death Eaters would capture both the Weasley boy and that interfering mudblood girl that acted as Potter's sidekicks in the middle of the night, when everyone in the refugee camp was deep in sleep.

Voldemort opened the tent flap, felt the heat of the spelled fire and never even had time to scream before he burned to death. No one had ever told him how dangerous it was to wake Hermione Granger from a dead sleep.

**

(I know this one's racy, but I had to add it)

Voldemort cackled evilly- this was the last night Harry Potter would spend on the face of the earth! And just to be sure, he had his Death Eaters would capture both the Weasley boy and that interfering mudblood girl that acted as Potter's sidekicks in the middle of the night, when everyone in the refugee camp was deep in sleep.

Voldemort opened the tent flap, and gaped in sheer horror when he saw the mudblood and the Weasley boy in bed...together. Horrified, he suffered a severe brain anurysem and dropped dead.

Crys replied:

Second and third scenes added to the file.   Thanks.

Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2008 12:43pm

301 - Replace "Jim" with "Ethan", and I wouldn't mind seeing this one expanded
313 - Is it wrong I laughed at this one?
316 - I don't get it

Crys replied:

313 - I dunno.   Is it bad that I laughed at this and then included it?

316 - In the Room of Requirement, anything you think you want/need, happens or is provided.   So he thinks that he wants Voldy to die.

Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2008 12:28pm

279 - Didn't need that image
300 - I don't get it

Crys replied:

300 - Hebe is the Greek goddess of Youth and is married to Herakles (Hercules)

Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2008 11:51am

223 - ......huh?
239 - Xenophoclies?

Crys replied:

223 - well, Neville could have been the BWL, right?  

239 - Just made up a name that I thought sounded good for an ancient red dragon

Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2008 11:27am

158 - I know the feeling (sort of)
164 - Lord of the Rings?
168 - Duck season!

Crys replied:

164 - yep, LotR

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Thursday 8th May 2008 5:17am

Voldemort smirked, facing Potter. "You've fought well, boy. I'll give you one chance - join me, become my second in command, and we can rule the world!"

Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort's current second-in-command, wasn't as fond of his boss's intention to oust him. "Twenty years of servitude for this? Avada Kedavra!"

Crys replied:

Thanks.    Scene added to the file.   Your 36th.

goddessa39 posted a comment on Tuesday 6th May 2008 1:07pm

Hey, i get random ideas all the time, and I thought one up: Harry shooting Voldemort in the head with Denis the Menace's fireball+marshmellow slingshot.

Maybe he is introducing Arthur to a good barbecue.

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Friday 2nd May 2008 4:42pm

Crys, I'm writing in response to a review. St Trinian's is a fictional school which is the stuff of legends, and sometimes rather lewed jokes, amongst the British Isles. You may, or may not, be aware that a movie has been recently made, based on the original cartoon strip. I recommend you see the movie, it is excellent.

Meanwhile, I support the St Trinian's suggestion. The kids at St Trinian's are supposed to be juvenile delinquents with an intelligent twist. They're worse! Moldie Voldie deserves to be attacked by them! And the teachers are unorthodox, as well. The movie of St Trinians could probably be used in Britain as a very good example of the reason to return corporal punishment. I expected to see it at least once. The kids are in desperate need of it!

Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 28th April 2008 3:21am

Harry and Hermione find a strange artifact that is said to help to bring justice into the world. This artifact sends their plea of help to Tyr, Ilmater and Torm.

Greetings

Killer07 (Time for a little divine justice)

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Sunday 27th April 2008 2:20pm

And another, more humiliating one:


Voldemort cursed under his breath. His resurrection was unstable; having his Horcruxes spread out weakened its anchoring to his body. Still, that was the point - so that if his body were to be destroyed, his soul would have a backup anchor. Even with that weakness, destroying Hogwarts would be easy!

***

"Look, you don't have to be so modest! Whatever you did, it made Voldemort topple right over - all of Dumbledore's signs say that his spirit wasn't able to escape! You're a hero!"

Colin Creevy blushed. "But all I wanted to do was commemorate the battle for the papers! How was I supposed to know there was some truth to cameras stealing souls?"

Crys replied:

Thanks.    Scene added to the file.   Your 35th.

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Sunday 27th April 2008 2:14pm

Inspired by, but requires no knowledge of, Black Cat.

Harry could only look on in horror as Voldemort's ultimate spell wrought havoc upon the battlefield. A serpent of green light, extending from his wand, striking Auror and Death Eater alike with the power of an Avada Kedavra!

"Potter! I am immortal! I am unstoppable! The Serpent of Death is my power - it is my very will!"

In a panic, Harry used a Finite on the spell - as his wand was brothers with that of Voldemort, the green serpent shattered into a million sparks of light.

And Voldemort toppled over - alive, but comatose. His will had been shattered - he could fight no more.

Crys replied:

Thanks.    Scene added to the file.   Your 34th.

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Thursday 24th April 2008 3:52pm

I don't think anybody's done this yet:

Hermione shuddered at what she saw. Even Voldemort hadn't deserved a fate like this!

"What happened?" asked Ron, looking even more poleaxed than usual.

"Well, Ronald," Hermione explained, "Voldemort found out that there is another magical school in these islands. He promptly Apparated there and told the pupils and teachers that he was the great Lord Voldemort, and that they would now obey him."

"And---?"

"You just don't say things like that to the students here at St. Trinian's!" Hermione shivered at the horrible remains that were all that was left of the Dark Lord after the students had mobbed him. "Oooh, I bet that had to hurt!"

Crys replied:

I suspect that "St. Trinian's" is supposed to be a reference to something, but I don't recognize it, I'm afraid.

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Wednesday 23rd April 2008 6:25pm

Jeepers flipping creepers, 325 was unusual. Well done anyway.

Hmmm. Suggestions. A Time-Turner, Nazis and Gyspy Weird Stuff. Might also help that he's not Aryan. Idea keeps buzzing about, but won't let me get a proper hold of it. Bloody plot-buzzers, just GO AWAY!!