FenrisWolf posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 4:13am

With apologies to the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers:

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Harry Potter was not having a good day.

Upon returning to Number 4 Privet Drive for his last summer, he was shocked when the bane of his youth, Dudley, apologized for years of abuse. What's more, he hoped Harry managed to defeat that Lord Whatsit who was after him.

Being the trusting fellow he was, Harry accepted Dudley's apology at face value, not understanding just how much low cunning occupied his cousin's piggy brain. So when Dudley asked him a favor the next evening, he happily agreed. After stuffing the packet Dudley asked him to deliver into his shirt pocket and checking to see the coast was clear, Harry summoned the Knight Bus for a trip to London, little knowing he'd been tricked into acting as a drug courier for Dudley's gang.

Upon exiting the Knight Bus Harry strode quickly down the street, travelling deeper into a disreputable part of the city as he hunted for the correct address. Suddenly there were a series of loud pops as a dozen Death Eaters, led by Voldermort himself, Apparated around him. A flurry of hexes and curses ended the only way it could, with Harry pinned to the ground, lying on his stomach while Voldemort's booted foor pressed into his back.

"And so it ends, Potter," Voldemort hissed as around him his minions engaged in sycophantic laughter. "The Boy Who Lived, face down in the dirt, defeated, alone, defenseless. So, do you have any last words for posterity before I end your pathetic life?"

As the Dark Lord asked his rhetorical question he bore down with his foot on Harry's back, inadvertently crushing the six dozen ampuoles of amyl nitrate in Harry's shirt pocket, filling the teen's head with a seventy-two-fold overdose of the powerful heart stimulant.

For a muggle it would've been a fatal dose; most wizards wouldn't have fared much better, but Harry's powerful magic took the stimulant and ran with it. With a roar a figure that only lacked emerald green skin to match an American muggle comic book character reared up from the ground, sending Voldemort tumbling. Harry bellowed with rage and fell on the panicked Death Eaters, and in seconds reduced the entire contingent including Voldemort into a broken, bleeding, giant fleshy Gordian's Knot.

As Harry stalked off, still puffing and snarling under the effects of the drug, Voldemort had one last thought as his life faded. 'Lord God, that was the meanest Halfblood I ever picked on!'

Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 4:09am

...heh. More than one way to kill a Dark Lord. Nice bit with the Taboo Word reference.

Hm. Are DH spoilers allowed in the comments here? I have an idea which sadly counts as such.

Idea: Massive asteroid hits Earth. Kinda given that Voldie would die in the aftermath of that - enough destructive force to smash his Horcruxes and him. Mind, qualifies as 'overkill'.

Idea: Voldemort and his Death Eaters go into the jungle or swamps or something in search of a legendary artifact. Could be just a younger Voldemort. The predators in such places would likely find fleshy humans yummy. (Also called: "Rippy the Gator went chomp, chomp, chomp...")

Idea: Voldemort's snake-like. Does that include cold-blooded vulnerability to outside temperature? ("And Britain reaches its coldest winter in a decade...") Works especially well before he's properly revived in GoF - running out of firewood would be so simple...

Idea: You do NOT tear pages out of books in the Restricted Section, no matter how much you want that Dark information. The books sometimes tear back.

Final Idea: Voldemort, in order to slip himself into the Order and cause doom and destruction, Polyjuices into Harry Potter. Due to the need for secrecy, he doesn't tell his minions. After transforming, he tries to leave his base...and discovers how well his minions or traps can deal with Potters. (Snape figuring it out might be fun - 'On one hand, I get to curse Potter. On the other hand, I'm actually taking out the guy who Crucios me. I WIN.')

And there are a few suggestions.

Crys replied:

Yes, DH spoilers are allowed.   It's been enough time.

Three of those bunnies used.   Thanks.

Ken Warner posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 2:27am

For Bunny 203 - a little reference to "Time on Target" might be useful. If you are not familiar with that, is when an artillery barrage using different types of cannons time their shooting in order to have all the differing types of shells hit at the same time.

If she can set some sort of delay on the howlers so they all hit simultaneously.....

thanks

and the Hermione revenge is just flat evil.

Crys replied:

I added some to that scene (though didn't call it ToT).   Thanks for the suggestion.

And I have heard of it before, through Clancy's novels.

Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 12:04am

171: Nemesis from Resident Evil 3?
192: ......

Crys replied:

171 isn't patterened off of any one character.   More like poking fun at the whole horror genre.

192: Don't know what Laume was smoking when it was originally written, but I thought the idea was funny enough to use.

Killer07 posted a comment on Thursday 2nd August 2007 7:24pm

My little brother gave me this idea :-)
Voldy and co are destroying a great part of a forest to build a ritual circle. Unfortunately he is seen by the Ent's and those are not very pleased with the destruction...

Greetings

Killer07 (If Saruman lost against them Moldyshorts doesn't stand a chance against this force of nature)

Crys replied:

Please forward my thanks to your little brother.   Bunny is used in the next chapter.

Nova Lily Evans Potter posted a comment on Monday 30th July 2007 2:44pm

I almost died of laughter!

I have a very good idea for you!Have you ever seen PANS LABYRINTH? If you have, you might know what I'm talking about, if not, rent it.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters go into the room where the Pale Man is and finds a lot of food.

"I'm so hungry," Pettigrew whined. Everyone was hungry so they began to eat the food.

They didn't see the Pale Man wake up and put his eyes into his palms. He saw that he had guests and walked towards them.

"Master? Who's that?" Severus Snape asked. He looked to find the Pale Man was coming towards them.

"Some idiot?" Voldemort told them.

Well, The Pale Man did have a good five course meal, every single Death Eater was eaten as well as Voldemort.

There is something to learn in all this: DO NOT EAT ANYTHING WHEN THERE IS A STRANGE PALE MAN WITH EYES IN FRONT OF HIM OR YOU WILL DIE!

How's that?

Nova

Crys replied:

Never heard of Pan's Labyrinth, I'm afraid.

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Sunday 29th July 2007 5:03pm

I don't know where I found this one, or if I even dreamed it up. I'm pretty sure I've seen it, here, already: Voldemort's last thought before the toxic fumes overwhelmed him was disgust at the betrayal of one of his most faithful lieutenants. Severus Snape, minutes earlier, had walked into the crowded room, asked for everyone's attention, and simply informed the Dark Lord: "Bite me, I quit!" before dropping a large bag of dungbombs. Snape, having had the sense to wear a muggle gas-mask, escaped in the confusion of the toxic fumes. Apparantly there were no other survivors.

My sincere apologies to whomever I managed to steal that one from.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to next chapter.

Killer07 posted a comment on Tuesday 24th July 2007 8:20pm

The Vorlons remove Moldyshorts because he endangers their precious circle with his plans.

Greetings

Killer07

Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 23rd July 2007 6:50pm

Oh and before i forgot grandpa Godric and Grandma Helga to aren't amused that their son James was killed and grandson Harry is a target of Moldyshorts.

Greetings

Killer07 (How to piss of all four founders at once...)

Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 23rd July 2007 6:29pm

The founders are not normal wizards but sorcerers that live around 2000 years. Now after 15 years of hibernation grandpa salazar and grandma rowena aren't amused. Their darling daughter Lily was killed and the killer is after their grandson Harry. Time to teach this stupid great great great etc. nephew of them a few lessons and after that check if petunia wasn't switched at birth because they can't believe to have such a stupid daughter...

Greetings

Killer07

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Saturday 21st July 2007 11:01am

Or if I really wanted to be fiendish...

Lord Voldemort cowered in a corner. He had thought killing Harry Potter would make him win. All he had done, he found out too late, was to make Hermione Granger very, very angry. He tried to Apparate, or use wandless magic, but no use. As he gibbered in a corner, Dolores Umbridge appeared...stark naked, and reeking of enough Love Potion to stop an army. She took one look at him, squeed loudly, and attacked.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Scene added to the next chapter.

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Saturday 21st July 2007 10:58am

How about something with the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers?

Voldemort drank the potion the three strange-looking visitors handed him. All of a sudden, he felt...different. "Ooh, wow, man, my hand's melting! Look at those colors! Faaar out, maaan..."

When Harry, Ron and Hermione came, Voldemort was sitting in a lotus position, with flowers behind his ears (he doesn't have hair, after all,) saying things like "Groovy," "far out," and "peace." Hermione knew instantly what had happened.

"Thanks for your help, Phineas, Fat Freddy and Freewheelin' Franklin. Good job I knew how to contact you, wasn't it?"

Franklin acted as spokesman. "No problem, little sister. That 'Lord Baltimore' dude...he was a bad trip. We just mellowed him out. We didn't expect him to eat _that_ much acid, but from the amount he took, he'll be 'eight miles high and falling fast' for about the next twenty years."

chlorinehamster posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 4:38pm

Alien or Predator or both?

Crys replied:

Predator's been used.   See #96

Never watched any of the  Alien movies.

Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 20th July 2007 5:53am

Voldy made one of his biggest mistakes ever. Planing a raid on a american wizard family called the Adams Family *EG*

Greetings

Killer07

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.   Your 69th

Scott M posted a comment on Thursday 19th July 2007 2:25pm

If you're still accepting ideas, I thought I'd point out http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2822411/1/By_the_Hand_of_the_Other by me. I guearantee I wrote it without reading any of these, but I don't know whether some of them are similar or not.

Crys replied:

Scene used.   Thanks.

Killer07 posted a comment on Thursday 19th July 2007 6:04am

Voldy and co couldn't have choosen a target to raid in the muggle world that was more wrong...
The Muggle Labs of ENCOM are controled by an AI that already knew of the wizarding world and Voldy. It decides to use the digitizing laser to convert Voldy and co to programs and sends them to the game circuit...

Greetings

Killer07 (hmm should i play Tron 2.0 again...)

Killer07 posted a comment on Thursday 19th July 2007 5:52am

hmm your scene with the good luck potion gave me the idea what if Wormtail dumped by accident a bad luck potion into Voldy's tea. A day of accidents and mishaps ending with a fatality :-)

Greetings

Killer07

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.   Your 68th

Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 16th July 2007 3:36am

Silly of me, I know, but... To Vincent, below, the sun won't go supernova; it isn't big enough. It will, however, turn into a red giant, engulfing Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, and part of the asteroid belt, so it's still a fairly valid concept. And I'd like to contribute a similar bunny: What if Harry or Hermione studies up on physics enough to realize that all speed is relative, and something standing still on Earth is actually moving at about thirty kps relative to the sun? Freeze Voldemort in place while pondering distractedly about such things, and Voldemort will suddenly find himself nearly eighteen hundred km behind Earth in just a minute, over a hundred thousand in an hour, and two and a half million in the space of a day. He'd pass the moon in about 2:45...

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.

Killer07 posted a comment on Saturday 14th July 2007 5:07am

Jung Tom Riddle is currently in the muggle world to track down a founders artifact that he wants to transform into an hocrux. He witnessed a how an alien gets arrested by the MiB and they use the neuraliser to erase the memory. Unfortunately for Tom he has a rare condition and his complete memory gets zapped because of this.

Greetings

Killer07

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.   Your 67th

Killer07 posted a comment on Saturday 14th July 2007 4:10am

Moldyshorts runs into Ricewind and his walking luggage. Unfortunately for him the luggage decides to take a snack.

Greetings

Killer07