ShadowNixxie posted a comment on Thursday 9th August 2007 11:52pm

How about this one? If you use it, feel free to edit!

A young Tom Riddle stood in front of a sink in a girl's bathroom, smirking. After two years of searching, he had finally found the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets!

Hissing the phrase that would open the portal, he came face to face with a huge basilisk. Though parselmouths were immune to a basilisk's glare, they were far from immune to the poison the King of Serpants carried in it's bite.

Moments later, the Heir of Slytherin was slowly digesting in the snake's stomach as it slithered back into it's home, with it's first full stomach since Salazar's time.

There to meet it was a smirking young man with striking emerald eyes, messy black hair, and a lightning bolt scar gracing his forehead. He stroked the huge snake as it began to coil around him and chuckled. Sometimes, Neville's potions accedents could have unexpected high points.






Hope you like it! I came straight from my brain! *lol*

Always keep a sharp quill and a full pot of ink nearby; you never know when inspiration will strike!

Ta!

Lady Siren

Crys replied:

Thanks.    Scene added to the file.

Steven Augart posted a comment on Thursday 9th August 2007 2:14pm

I enjoyed most of these. I found # 201 (the Taboo Word Spell one) hard to follow the logic of. The only thing I can think of is that Harry is using the spell as a homing device to help him to locate Voldemort; it still doesn't make sense to me how the entire Order will get the notification of Voldie's location.

Crys replied:

I wrote that as a direct jab at the Taboo in DH.   If the DE can use it to instantly home in on Ron, Harry, and Hermione in the middle of muggle London, why can't Harry and the Order use it to home in on Voldy?

bookaholic_au posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 8:05pm

Lord Voldemort ascended hesitatingly to the top of the very large pile of mattresses. Here was one surefire way to discover if he truly belonged to the noble line of Salazar Slytherin. If he did, he was sure to feel the squirms of a very irate Harry Potter at the bottom of the large pile of mattresses.

However, Voldemort forgot Harry's mysterious ability to randomly summon the sword of Godric Griffindor, and the capacity of the said relic to magically propel itself forward on command.

As Harry portkeyed away to safety, Voldemort's body tumbled off the large pile of mattresses.

_______________________________________________

Great story. Good luck with it.

Tatterdemalion posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 6:35pm

With regards to the AN's I'd love to see someone come up with Voldemort dying via a colony of Ants.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to the file.

Vongsawat posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 3:45pm

rofl, the last one cracked me up ^^

davidiusbrown posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 3:24pm

"Judo Chop!" Harry yelled, as his hand snapped Voldemort's neck. The former Tom Riddle fell to the cold castle floor, dead.

"And I'm spent. Hermione?"

"Yes, Harry."

"Do I make you horny?"

"Later, Harry. How did you do it?"

"I guess I must have been the Powers the Dark Lord knows not. Seriously, Hermione, do you think I'm sexy? Are you randy? Do you want me to enter your Chamber of Secrets?"

With props to Rorschach's Blot.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 11:45am

Okay, so it should be ents, not ants. Still, what would happen if Voldie should happen to disturb a hill of magical army ants? The non-magical ones are dangerous enough, I can imagine what the magical ones could do. *chuckle* Perhaps a situation where Tom & Harry end up in the South American jungle and Tom, in his arrogance, does something stupid?

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to the file.

Patricia Lee Finley posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 10:03am

Okay, I liked the Howler bit the best. The one with Nagini as a power word was the next best. But, an Ent is not a tree. As you recall Treebeard. "Tree? I'm no tree. I am an Ent." Clearly since they look like trees everyone assumes they are trees...but they're not. But that's not here or there anyway. To tick of an Ent is not smart or conductive to living a long and fruitful life. Ta Ta Moldywarts!!

Viridian posted a comment on Wednesday 8th August 2007 9:36am

I'm sorry, but I must be taking my Obtuse Potion today... how did #201 result in his death?

Crys replied:

Facing at least 20 wizards simultaneously, one of whom can kill him.

Mostly, I wrote that as a jab at JKR's "name Taboo" in DH.

Steven Arntz posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 6:52pm

LOL I love the story. If i can suggest a scene, it would be hilarious if voldemort were killed by a swordfish while visiting sea world or swimming in the ocean or some other such thing. For some reason, the idea of him getting impaled by a fish makes me giggle.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to the file.

morriganscrow posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 5:51pm

I LOLed! Go the Ents!

Killer07 posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 3:59pm

While Voldy tortures Harry Gandalf the white comes into the area and doesn't like what he is seeing. He decides to help Harry.

Greetings

Killer07

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 2:54pm

All quite amusing and varied. I presume the ants in #205 are magical army ants? Or some ant species that would be equally deadly?

Just a thought inspired by the opening of Aerie22's "All the Magic in the World":

The forces of Light are fighting Tom and company in an abandoned coal mine. Reducto's and other curses have put a lot of dust into the air; then some ignorant Deez, or Tom himself (firing at Harry?), fires an Incindeo or some similar spell and sets off the coal dust/air mixture. Emergency portkeys take the Light fighters out while the resulting explosion kills Tom and all his forces.

Crys replied:

Not ants.   Ents.   From Tolkein's LotR stories.   Intelligent, ancient, huge, mobile trees.

Oh, and thanks for the coal mine bunny.   I'll probably use that next time through.

Edit: I have used this coal mine bunny.

brad posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 12:54pm

Applause for #201 in particular. I didn't like the 'taboo' in DH - although I grant you it explained the wizarding world's aversion to Riddle's title (why, then had we never heard of this reason in any of the previous six books, though?) - and I spent a minute or two wondering if it could be reversed on Tom, proving that JKR hadn't thought it through. Didn't think of the parseltongue angle; I guess objections could be raised that the name has to be in English, or human tongue. Still a neat idea!

The idea of Hermione letting loose on Riddle is awfully appealing too. But in reality it would take her a few years, I'd imagine, to learn enough to really be dangerous to Voldemort?

Crys replied:

Thanks.   That whole "Taboo" thing bugged me, too.   Oh, well.   JKR has been known to leave plotholes lying around before.

And you're right.   Hermione would need years before she'd be any kind of threat to Voldy.   But by rights, Harry would also need years (probably more than her) before he could be a legitimate threat, either.   *shrug*

Glad you're enjoying.

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 9:28am

Squeeee! I never expected that one to be used, I swear I read it somewhere else first. My sincere apologies to whomever I ripped off.

Crys replied:

Far's I know, you didn't rip anyone off.   I had a slightly similar "death" (using mandrakes instead), but don't recall anything else along those lines.

Edit: Ronnie McCain pointed out that it's from Kinsfire's "Death of a Hero".

slickrcbd posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 6:10am

Funny as always. May I use these reviews to submit my own suggestion? Feel free to edit it, as I'm not the best writer.


Tom Riddle stood between the high pillars in the Chamber of Secrets and looked up into the stone face of Slytherin, high above him in the half-darkness. Riddle opened his mouth wide and hissed:
"Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four."

Slytherin's gigantic stone mouth began to open, and something began stirring inside the statue's mouth. Something was slithering up from its depths.

An enormous, bright, poisonous green serpent hit the stone floor with a huge shudder, and spoke:

"Filthy half-blood, you dare to presume to command me? I shall clense the noble and pure Slytherin line of your muggle taint!"

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to the file.

Patches posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 6:07am

Death by Umbridge, what a horrible way to go. Moldyshorts shouldn't have upset Hermione! Very good. Howlers, that is an interesting concept!Dungbombs are good! Ants, Moldyshorts would have overlooked anyone as small as that. To him bigger was always better. Quite a statement! Thanks for writing. pms

Crys replied:

Sorry, that's "ents" not "ants".

Ents are from Tolkien's LotR stories.   Think about a huge, intelligent, mobile tree.

Though the idea of him getting in the path of an army of killer ants is worth thinking about for the next update.

Edit: Did use the ants bunny.

Tobang posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 5:24am

The email notification that this has been updated was my 1001 email in my index. I love strange coincidences.

~Tobang

Crys replied:

<Trewlaney voice>It is fate that brings you here!

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 4:48am

The best was the Ents but they were all great. Very funny.

vertru posted a comment on Tuesday 7th August 2007 4:16am

ROFL, a colony of Ents? Oh, I like it. Well put together Crys. Keep 'em coming.

Vern