By Crys
Reviews
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 6:57pm
I always wind up writing these things in the wee hours, it seems. That first one came on its own, but these two and the bunny followed after I posted. Before I get to my scenes, however, I was wondering if you'd mind if I modeled something like this in another fandom and link back to yours as the inspiration? I'm in a silly mood and have decided to create a 1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane at a Daria fansite.
"Damn!" Harry shouted as his bullets bounced off of Voldemort's shield.
"You thought the power I knew not was a gun?" the Dark Lord gloated. "Silly boy, I was a child during the Second World War! I grew up with Dick Tracey (or a British equivalent) on the radio! Of course I know what a gun is!"
Harry threw his revolver down in disgust and spoke into a walkie talkie. "You were right, a handgun isn't enough. Time to break out the minigun." When Voldemort heard the name of Potter's next weapon, he burst out laughing. He stopped laughing when the first burst came.
I'm trying to come up with a good way for Vlad Taltos or his wife Cawti or one of their Dragaeran compatriots to take on Voldemort, but I've got nothing, so I'm just suggesting the general idea of a crossover with the Dragaeran Cycle. Dresden Files would be good, too.
Sorry, another Greek mythology one:
The first thing he did after getting a job at Borgin and Burke's was to aquire a room at the Leaky Cauldron. That accomplished, Tom Riddle walked down to the common area for dinner; not the kind of fare he expected to become accustomed to when people recognized his greatness, but Tom, the new cook, did dish out a pretty decent stew that would do for now. However, he would still be one of the first to die; no one with that name deserved to live. He, himself, was an exception, as he was in the process of ensuring that he would be known to history only as Lord Voldemort.
After ordering his food, To- Voldemort looked around for a table. As was often true, the tavern was quite full, and seating was hard to come by. He did, however, find a seat at the bar. It would have to do.
"Excuse me." Turning, Voldemort found himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He knew, suddenly, that this must be a goddess come to earth, the only woman worthy of his attentions. "You're sitting in my husband's seat," she said.
"Well, I'm sure he won't mind if I borrow it for a moment," Voldemort said suavely. "I'm just waiting for my food, then I'll be off to my room. In the meantime, I'm delighted to make your acquaintance. The company makes the wait worthwhile. May I ask your name?"
"I think my husband will mind very much. He has a... history of becoming violent at times. He no longer goes mad quite the way he used to, but he is still quite jealous."
"Like I said," he smarmed, knowing that the secret was just to keep her talking to him, "I'll be gone soon; I'm sure he won't mind. You may call me Voldemort."
"Oh! How rude of me!" the woman exclaimed. "My name is Hebe. My husband and I are actually visiting England at the moment; we're originally from the north of Greece." Voldemort felt a chill as a shadow several times his size covered him from behind. "Oh, hi, honey! I was just telling Mister Voldemort here about us!"
Crys replied:
If you want to use the same idea (1001 Deaths of _____ ), you're certainly welcome to do so. I'd appreciate an "inspired by" (it helps my number of hits :).
And thanks for the two scenes. Your 12th and 13th credits, I believe.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 5:44pm
Well, I'm pretty sure no one will get a Well World reference, but I couldn't help myself when the idea came to me.
Every now and again, Voldemort asked his followers to bring him a completely unharmed muggle, so that he could break them from beginning to end. And his followers knew that when Voldemort "asked," it was as good as anyone else's order, only with a Cruciatus for those who disobeyed. So, when he got into one of those "moods," Lucius quickly went out and grabbed the first couple he could find on the docks of muggle London, just getting off of a tramp cargo ship. He dumped the couple at his lord's feet: a short man with brown hair and a beard, and a woman, striking in both her exotic appearance and unusual height.
Voldemort gloated at his captives. "You are now prisoners of the Dark Lord! Bow before your new master!"
Although most muggles were not up with the whole wizarding political situation, generally suddenly disappearing from wherever they had been and reappearing in Voldemort's dungeons was enough to convince them that _something_ was not right. However, these two appeared more bored than anything. The man said to his companion, "So, what were you saying about people who live on planets being saner than those who live in hexes?"
"For the most part," she replied. "There's exeptions to the rule in both ways."
Furious at being ignored, Voldemort shouted, "Hexes? I'll show you a hex! Crucio!" The man immediately stiffened and shuddered in agony.
"What are you doing to him?" the woman yelled. "Nathan? What's wrong? What's he doing?" Suddenly, she turned on the Dark Lord. "Dammit, stop it!" She punctuated her exclamation with a slash of her finger nails at the wizard's face. Startled, he dropped his spell. Nathan lay on the ground, gasping in pain. Suddenly, an odd look came across the woman's face. "You're manipulating the equations, aren't you?" she asked. She swiped her finger nails across Voldemort's face again. "The universe doesn't need anyone else doing that. Especially not when it's still this young!"
Voldemort tried to make sense of what the woman was saying, but it was difficult, especially the way the world kept fading on him. As the darkness closed in, he vaguely heard the man on the ground say, "Mavra? What's going on? Is it another Obie?"
In memory of Jack Chalker. Requiescat in pace.
Crys replied:
Er, you were right. I don't get the reference. Haven't heard of Well World.
Sorry.
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Thursday 7th February 2008 8:15am
Harry stood in the clearing, waiting for the end. Voldemort obliged, unleashing the deadliest spell known to wizardkind. "Avada Kedavra!"
Unfortunately, they were wrong about their interpretation of how Lily's sacrifice worked. It was still active.
Harry blinked, bleeding from a second lightning bolt cut. "Well, that was strange."
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 32nd
bobman posted a comment on Wednesday 6th February 2008 7:58pm
I'm not very good at writing, so please improve upon it if you want.
Harry stood there waiting for Voldemort to cast the killing curse, when from out of the trees a battered old car flew in and crashed right on top of Voldemort.
(from Deathly Hallows, when Harry lets Voldy kill him)
Crys replied:
Sorry, but the Ford Anglia has already been used. See #58
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Tuesday 5th February 2008 12:47pm
The knight waited, waiting for time to end his life. After that nasty business with the Nazis, the item that had given him near-immortality had been lost. Good riddance. He probably had only a few years left, anyway.
To his surprise, he heard voices approaching. Someone else had made their way past the three trials? Most curious. He straightened himself up, making sure to be a proper Knight of Arthur's Round Table when the new visitor arrived.
The visitor in question was a young man in dark robes. A look of greed was in his eye, and the knight decided to let him meet his fate. No need to mention that the cup of a carpenter was lost down a crevasse. "Choose, from these many cups, the true Holy Grail...but choose wisely."
(Optional: Continue scene, include Riddle drinking from a wrong cup, and disintegrating into a skeleton. "He chose...poorly.")
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 31st
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Tuesday 5th February 2008 12:42pm
"All right, Adam, today the Mythbusters will be tackling a myth sent in by, of all people, a British viewer."
"Right you are, Jamie. We'll be tackling the myth that a Dark Wizard can make himself immortal by splitting his soul and embedding the pieces in various items."
"Our team has located those items, and will be testing a secondary myth - that these 'Horcruxes' are indestructible. How are things going over there?"
***
"Well, to be properly scientific about all this, we've made sure to use plenty of C4, and-"
"Woohoo! We never get to use THAT many explosives at once!"
"We've inspected the site and...yes, nothing's left of them. This myth has been busted!"
***
"Well, that was quick. All that's left for today is to test the immortality myth - is the Dark Wizard still immortal after the destruction of those items?"
"Well, we're going to have to be just as scientific about this..."
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 30th
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Tuesday 5th February 2008 8:56am
As his Death Eaters completed the ritual, Voldemort cackled. Searching the ruins of a fallen civilization, he had discovered that those ancient people had bound a Demon Prince to their will. The contract was never-ending, and as he was now the sole holder of the knowledge, he could invoke the demon and wreak havoc upon the world!
The ritual completed, and a towering figure emerged from the summoning circle. Seeing its new masters, it bent to one knee. "What is thy bidding, master?"
***
Slowly bleeding to death, Voldemort wondered what had gone wrong. He sought to destroy his enemies, to rule the world. Now? His headquarters were in flames, his Horcruxes had met with tragic accidents, his minions were all dead, and his nemesis - the Potter brat - was impassively watching him die.
"Why?...I had a Demon Prince on my side...how could I lose?..."
"Honestly, Tom. You should have thought this out - those ancient people had the demon on their side, and they were destroyed too. That's what happens when you try to get the Demon Prince of Incompetence to do your dirty work for you."
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 29th
Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 4th February 2008 7:30pm
As fate came from her lunch break she sees her tapestry unraveling. As she looks for the reason she find the thread of one Tom Marvollo Riddle trying to change the past to fit his schemes. Because of this Fate decides to cut this thread. Couldn't do that this young upstart ruins her planned hollidays in a few years. It would be the first since millenniums an she really needed a break.
Greetings
Killer07 (The reason wizards disappear while trying to change the time with a time turner)
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 87th
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Monday 4th February 2008 7:33am
Voldemort exulted in his newfound power. An artifact he'd unearthed had unlocked the true potential of an oft-maligned branch of magic - Arithmancy. With this, however, he could use equations and rewrite reality itself!
In a flash, he relocated himself to Hogwarts. He brought his newfound power to bear, smashing against the wards. They held - barely. Smirking, Voldemort quickly drew up a new equation to make real, to fill himself with more power!
And then he imploded. Examining the remains, it was determined that he'd attempted to divide by zero.
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 28th
Killer07 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd February 2008 1:04am
Of the many Ghosts that were locked away in the containment unit of the Ghostbusters some where once muggles that were tortured and killed by Voldy. As the city decided to force the shutdown of the power supply to the containment unit and caused the mass breakout those ghosts decided to finally pay Voldy a visit. Unfortunately for Voldy most muggle ghosts are far more dangerous than wizard ghosts.
Greetings
Killer07 (Mass visit of your muggle victims Voldy have fun :-) )
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 86th
Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 1st February 2008 11:16pm
As Q had an argument with Lady Q and impersonates Mr Evans to get some relief with Mrs Evans. This resulted in Lilly Evans wo unfortunately never developed Q powers. But Harry developed those "Powers Voldy knows not" After removing Voldy he strips all of Moldyshorts supporters of their magic and goes with Hermione on a trip through the Multiverse to learn new things (I don't think Hermione could resist this)
Greetings
Killer07 (Q is one of my favorites :-) )
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 85th
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Tuesday 29th January 2008 8:23am
Inspired by a gadget in Paranoia:
Voldemort simply glared at the wizard-inventor before him. He'd had his minions 'recruit' the man because of his reputation for building brilliant - or insane - magical items.
What Voldemort hadn't anticipated was how bloody USELESS the items produced would be!
"Explain again. Slowly. With reasons that I shouldn't kill you right here and now."
"As I was explaining, milord, these Fire-and-forgetpicks would help your dark armies handle dental hygiene more quickly! You simply pull one toothpick from the box, toss it out, and it instantly finds the nearest teeth and cleans them!"
Volemort was silent for a full minute before bellowing, "THE DARK LORD VOLDEMORT CARES NOT FOR TOOTHCLEANERS!", throwing the box to the ground in a fit of fury. The box burst, releasing two hundred automagic toothpicks.
Shortly thereafter, the bloody mist that had been Voldemort had a newfound appreciation for the term 'swarming'.
(A/N: And the sad thing is, they didn't go berserk or anything - they just all tried to work at once...)
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 27th
Killer07 posted a comment on Saturday 26th January 2008 9:05am
As the war went on the muggles became aware of the magic world and united forces against Moldyshorts. Everythink went fine for Voldy until he decided to attack a gathering of muggle and magic leaders to coordinate a defense against him. One of the guests is John McClane. One of the biggest mistakes of the DE's was torturing one Lucy McClane for fun and planing to have fun with her later. The last thing Voldy ever hears was the line "Yippee ki yay, motherfucker"
Greetings
Killer07 (Just bought and watched Die Hard 4 :-) )
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 84th
Anansii posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd January 2008 6:56pm
Whoops, finally noticed your reply. The Lens is an artifact in the Doc Smith "Lensmen" series, and is basically a focus that only works for the owner, and kills anybody else.
meanwhile...
It's Halloween night when Harry spots Voldemort near the Shrieking Shack. Thinking quickly, he changes his costume robes and mask to match Tom's, waves at him, yells "Hey, Moldywart, can't catch me!" and runs inside. Voldemort follows him inside, passing from light to shadow into the depths of the shack. In the dim light he sees his foe before him, wand out. He fires first "Avada Kedavra!" There is a bright green flash...
Harry looks down at the body of the late Tom Marvolo Riddle and grins. That spell reflecting mirror was worth every galleon he paid the twins for it...
Crys replied:
A mirror has already been used. See scene #23
Thanks for sending the idea, though.
Eric Oppen posted a comment on Friday 4th January 2008 5:31pm
What if Voldemort found himself up against one of the few things that terrified and defeated both Bugs Bunny and Adolf Hitler...gremlins?
The Dark Lord was worried. What was going wrong with everything today? He had a new plan, a cunning and subtle one, that was sure to take out that pestilential Harry Potter...
And then he heard the singing, and his blood froze.
"We are gremlins from the Kremlin, we are gremlins from the Kremlin! We're here, we're there, we're everywhere, we're in the Dark Lord's hair!"
Tom Riddle had seen enough Muggle cartoons to know what [italic}that meant. He somehow managed to go even paler than he had been before.
ihatefanet posted a comment on Monday 31st December 2007 2:39pm
How about a blood-type mismatch between the embryonic Voldemort (pre-GoF ceremony) and Harry?
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file.
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Wednesday 26th December 2007 6:15am
It was a shame there were Muggle-repelling wards up. This battle really deserved to be videotaped.
The Dark Lord Voldemort was facing what forces of light remained to battle him. He'd been forced, due to a potent spell from that Potter brat, to unleash his true power - channeling the immortality magics from his Horcruxes into pure might. As the heroes rallied themselves to face this new force of darkness, the enraged Voldemort twisted his face into a visage of fury...
...and then shock, as an arm was now protruding from his chest. As he slumped to the ground, his vision darkening, he heard his killer's voice.
"Nice try, kid, but I believe it'll be the Dark Lord Grindewald taking over, not some brat afraid to use his real name."
- Gullwhacker (Inspired by Slayers Next)
Killer07 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd December 2007 11:15am
Death was not a happy entity as he checked his computer. Because he has so much to do he lets his computer handle most death's and now the system send him the logs of one Tom Marvollo Riddle
Result: Death by backfired avada kedavra failed...
Action: schedule alternative death
Result: Death by Harry Potters touch failed...
Action: schedule alternative
Result: Death by error in potion of Pettigrew failed
Result: Death by duel against Harry Potter failed
Action: Analyse cause and notify true death
Result: Alarm!!! Hocrux detected and life force + magic of one Harry Potter leeched of
He hated it if mortals try to cheat him and his list (To much work to reorganise the list if the deaths don't happen). And he really hated it if someone tries to life on the life of someone other without consent (He had no problems with the old grandfather getting a few extra hours through the people of his family to say goodbye) Now as he looked for Voldemort he found him possesing Harry on the DoM. It seemed that he had to show himself to the mortals. After all this would be the simples way to collect Riddle and return Sirius Black who wasn't scheduled to die for a long time. Oh death really wasn't happy today and he would make Tom Riddle aware of this...
Greetings
Killer07 (I really ask myself where that came from...)
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 83rd
Killer07 posted a comment on Sunday 23rd December 2007 6:52am
Harry wishes for a easy way to dispose of Voldy to Christmas. Because of this Santa gives him a terapedo as present. A smart missile with an AI that likes to do nothing more than to explode and the ability to teleport itself (From Schlock Mercenary http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20020307.html is one strip with such a terapedo in action) And the second think he gets is a reciever to get the image of Voldy as the terapedo arives in his lair *G*.
Greetings
Killer07 (Imagine the look on Voldy and co as the terapedo introduces itself and goes boom)
Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 11th February 2008 6:03am
Crys replied: