itsme posted a comment on Tuesday 21st June 2016 10:10am

About #376: Harry miscalculated a bit when he decided to transfigure a grain of sand into antimatter. A grain of sand weighs about 50 micrograms. The 50 micrograms of antimatter would completely annihlate another 50 micrograms of matter. The whole 100 micrograms would be entirely converted into energy, yielding 9 * 10^10 Joules. A megaton is about 4 * 10^9 joules, so we are talking about 20 megatons, or about 1000 Hiroshima bombs. This would hardly be healty, not only for Voldemort, but even for Litte Hangleton and the neighbouring cities, let alone Harry.

Technomad posted a comment on Saturday 7th May 2016 1:56am

How about this? Shortly after Dumbledore and McGonagall disappeared from Privet Drive, the morning of November 1, an armored figure paced down the sidewalk. "Doom THIRSTS ," the armored man said "and Doom seeks an OFF-LICENCE!" Then Doctor Doom's attention was caught by the sound of a baby's wail. "What sort of IDIOT leaves a baby on a doorstep? This would not be allowed in Latveria, by the laws of DOOM!" Reading the notes left with Little Harry, Doctor Doom was disgusted. "Young person," he proclaimed, "you are now the ward and under the protection of DOOM!"

So Harry grew up, safe and sound, in Latveria, in the care of a nice couple with several children who were delighted to adopt this English boy once Doom explained the situation. He got his Hogwarts letter, and went off to England, checking in at the Latverian Embassy and being escorted to the Alleys by the Latverian Magical Attache.

Shortly after Harry arrived at Hogwarts, Severus Snape accepted a job offer as a research potions expert in Latveria, working side-by-side with Doom and learning from the master himself. He was happier than he'd ever been.

Doom was pleased that his young protege was doing so well, but when he became the fourth contestant in the Triwizard, Doom decided it was time to take a hand. When he showed up at Hogwarts, Karkaroff fainted dead away. And when Harry appeared in the cemetery where the portkey-trapped trophy had taken him, Doom, being the Greatest Genius of All Time (just ask him. He'll tell you. At great, interminable length.) showed up just as Lord Voldemort was resurrected.

"Doom does not approve of your treatment of Doom's ward!" Very shortly, the resurrected Dark Lord found out that spells bounce right off Doom's armor, but Doom's spells and weapons work just fine. Defeated, Voldemort was taken back to Latveria for some special remedial education with Doctor Doom; subject, "Why it's a bad idea to meddle with people Doctor Doom is protecting." He was never seen again.

Puck1 posted a comment on Monday 13th April 2015 7:36pm

Various plot bunnies:

(NCIS) Voldermort apparates into Abby Scuito's forensics lab...big mistake.

(NCIS: LA) Voldermort apparates into Hetty Lange's house with her in it.

Voldermort tries to get the 999 ghosts at the Haunted Mansion to help him....ends up becoming the 1,000th.

Voldermort tries to get Tia Dulma/Calypso to help him.

myrthe1203 posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd July 2014 4:35pm

You did the Monty Python bunny. =) (Yeah, I know you didn't do it at my suggestion. Just glad I got to read it.)

myrthe1203 posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd July 2014 6:42am

Idea - Voldemort looking for the Holy Grail or a similar artifact in order to boost his powers, and falling victim to Killer Rabbit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmu5sRIizdw

The Imaginatrix posted a comment on Tuesday 11th February 2014 6:20pm

Here's one off the top of my head.

"Spit that out, young man!" Willy Wonka emplored as Tom Riddle continued chewing on the gum he had taken from the machine the eccentric owner of the fabulous chocolate factory had been showing him and the other annoying children who had found the golden tickets. (Well, Tom had stolen his and made sure that Kelly Miller didn't tell anyone at the orphanage who had really found it, but who cared about such details?)

"You should really listen to Mr Wonka," the old man who had come with the wretched-looking boy warned.

Tom ignored him. Nobody told him what to do!

As the flavour of the gum changed to blueberry pie, the nine-year-old's body began to undergo some rather interesting changes. The magical core he did not yet know about only sped up the process. Before Willy Wonka could summon any of his small orange workers to get the unfortunate boy to the Juicing Room, the monstrous blueberry he had become exploded, splattering the remaining members of the touring party in juice and berry flesh.

HyenaSennin posted a comment on Monday 25th November 2013 6:04am

Holy shitwaffles, this is HILARIOUS!!!

asteroid posted a comment on Friday 15th November 2013 4:23am

That's fascinating. To be fair, I was wondering about who the heck this "Else-Norway was". An extremely amusing story that brightened up my day. Thanks for being awesome.

draykaemrys posted a comment on Monday 4th June 2012 4:07pm

Ideas to ponder, from a self-confessed gamer girl:

(Elder Scrolls world/crossover) Lord Voldemort uses a ritual to attempt to steal power from the Daedric Well from which all Daedra gain their power. ( http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Daedric_Princes ) However, in doing so, he gained the attention of the Daedric Princes. Captured, they held a conclave to see who should displine the over-reaching human, and Shogorath, Prince of Madness, wins. He drags Voldemort back to the Shivering Isles and to the realm of Dementia to be tortured by the Duchess.

(Minecraft) Lord Voldemort finds a ritual to take him to a world where he'd have a chance to win the Power of a God by defeating a creature called the Ender Dragon. Unfortunately, he ends up getting blasted by a Creeper ( http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Creeper ).

David Thacker posted a comment on Saturday 12th November 2011 1:13am

Here is two ideas that I do not recall seeing the first is Harry Potter Death Note in which Harry gets the Death Note notebook and writes Tom Riddles' full name in.
The other is a Phantasm cross where Tom ticks off or runs a fowl of Tall Man and the dwarfs that still body's and have the sliver flaying spheres that kill.

Puck1 posted a comment on Saturday 10th September 2011 8:18pm

If you've ever seen the TV shows NCIS or NCIS:LA, how about Voldermort dead by Harry working with Gibbs, Ziva, Abby, Hettie, G. Callen, or Sam.

David Thacker posted a comment on Monday 9th May 2011 11:41pm

Here is an idea what if Voldemort was some how made a member of the Potter Family with Harry has the head and his next attack kills him for one can not attack the head of family.

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Monday 9th May 2011 2:00pm

Harry Potter shuddered. "Er, I didn't know---"

The tall Asian man with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan looked down at him with green eyes exactly like his own. "Yes, grandson. Your grandmother was less faithful than your grandfather believed. And now I have come to deal with this 'Lord Voldemort' person."

"What are you going to do?" asked Harry.

Doctor Fu Manchu smiled evilly. "Since he cannot die, I have immobilized him in his body and shall take him back to my lair. There's a method of what you might call 'attitude adjustment' called 'The Terminal Torment of the Ten Thousand Repentant Ancestors;' it's so awful that all of one's ancestors and previous incarnations feel it as well."

Harry turned rather pale. He had longed for family, but finding that he was a direct descendant of the Devil Doctor, the Lord of Strange Deaths, was a little bit much. Dr. Fu smiled and patted his shoulder. "After you are done with your studies here, come see me and I'll teach you things they haven't dreamed of here in the decadent West."

Puck1 posted a comment on Sunday 17th October 2010 10:54pm

Voldermort vs. Gibbs or Ziva...snicker.

jariuth posted a comment on Wednesday 25th August 2010 12:40pm

Voldemort decided to celebrate his upcoming victory over Dumbledore and Potter by getting a cake.
Having heard so much about one particular bakery (even if it WAS a Muggle one), he made his way to Carlo's in the Colonies.
Buddy, thinking someone was trying to prank him, had his Sister handle the order. Amazingly, her irritating nasal screeching harpy sounding voice hit just the right frequency to irritate humans, but was a death knell for snakes since it caused the sinus cavity to vibrate to the point of shattering the bones in a grenade-like manner.

scott rockwood posted a comment on Saturday 19th June 2010 6:02am

as relates to the marriage law bunnies, how bout one where Draco's chosen to be his spouse, or one where Umbridge is?

cornfertilizer posted a comment on Sunday 23rd May 2010 3:50pm

Here's my idea

'Teaching these children is extremely boring. I understand why Severus has gotten so nasty in his tenure as a potions professor,' decided Lord Voldemort who was currently sharing the body of Quinirius Quirrell.

Lord Voldemort thought that tonight would be a perfect night to move through the school's pipe system in his basilisk animagus form.

He reached a room containing a mirror that appeared to give off tremendous amounts of magical energy. He stared right into the mirror.

Before the mirror could show him his desire, he saw his reflection and died.

Albus Dumbledore came under investigation by the Department of Mysteries, because while searching for the missing Professor Quirrell they found the mirror which had been stolen from them last September.

If you want to include this you can rearrange it if you want..I'm not the best writer. I love your story by the way

eiahmen posted a comment on Thursday 22nd April 2010 4:05am

Voldemort encounters the Care Bears and dies from the cuteness overdose.

David Thacker posted a comment on Saturday 17th April 2010 2:44am

Puffer fish poisoning is a idea. Also scare him to Death. Liquid Nitrogen turn his blood in to it.

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Thursday 4th March 2010 9:45pm

While chasing Harry Potter on brooms, Voldemort cast an experimental time spell. If he did it right, it would send him through time just far enough into the past that he'd appear in front of the meddlesome brat.

He didn't cast it right.

He looked around, seeing a devastated earth below him, and hearing rhythmic booms in the distance. Then he heard a snarling roar, and looked up to see a group of Muggle aircraft, all diving down at him. As the first bullets whistled past his ears, he tried to evade.

Unfortunately, compared to a Fokker Triplane, even the fastest, most manouverable broom is slow and clumsy. And the lead Muggle pilot, the one in the scarlet machine, was a very good shot.

Voldemort's last thoughts, as he spun down on his flaming broomstick to the ground, where the incessant shellfire would macerate him for all time, were "Curse you, Red Baron!"

Manfred von Richthofen shook his head sadly. This was one victory he was not going to claim. If he told his superiors that he had shot down Death, riding on a broom over No-Man's-Land, they'd put him in a padded cell for the rest of the War.