RainingFlowers posted a comment on Thursday 18th January 2007 7:30am

You know, Merope Gaunt was ill, and gave birth to a stillborn who, if he had lived, would have become Voldemort.

What was the other one? Oh, inferi. I'm assuming that Voldemort 'programmed' them to attack any wizard. He might have forgotten to exclude himself from the 'any wizard' category.

Oh, and I've got another one. When possessing a snake in Albania, huge winds began blowing through the forest. Voldy didn't think much of it, until a tree fell and squashed his host body to death.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Two bunnies added to file.

The stillborn thing is ironic, but I don't think I can make it amusing.

Miss Whiskers posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 8:18am

Voldemort snuck into the Gryffindor Common room, having done the impossible and Apparated into Hogwarts.
Bunny A:
He shut the portrait just in time to see his target, the Boy Who Lived, run towards him and shove a book into his hands.

Harry ran to hide behind a sofa and snicker as Hermione charged down the staircase, her eyes glinting in anger, her hair poofing in agitation, and her wand pointing at a very, very frightened Lord Voldemort.

Bunny B:
Voldemort stifled a sigh as he sunk lower into his seat. Some time ago Snape had had the audacity to insult his potion-making skills, as will as sentence the Dark Lord to Remedial Potions.

"Riddle! Sit up straight!" Snape barked as walked to the front of the classroom. "You're with Longbottom!"

The rest of the class snickered, and Voldemort began to have a very bad feeling about this.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny (A) added to file.

Miss Whiskers posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 8:09am

BRAVO!!! The best collection of bunnies I've ever seen!

Killer07 posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 7:31am

The Goblet of Fire is sentient. After Harry says that he didn't put in his name the Goblet questions him and comes to the conclusion that Tom Riddle tried to bind Harry illegally into a magical contract. The punishment is that the Goblet appears in front of Moldyshorts and playes judge, jury and executioner. After that it gets a little to warm for Voldy :-)

(And the moral never piss of a powerfull magical artifact that could be sentient *G*)

Greetings

Killer07

Sakiku posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 1:46am

If you don't know or like Naruto, it's no problem. Here's another one in response to all those super-power-fanfics that are floating around.

Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter were facing each other in a classic stand-off. As evil megalomaniacs are wont to do, Lord Voldemort started bragging about his power and his evilness.

"So, you see, there is no way for you to defeat me. In addition to my powers as the Heir of Slytherin, I also have acces to all of your powers through your blood."

Harry Potter looked decidedly unmoved. "Sorry to interrupt you, but you are not the Heir of Slytherin. That would be me, and since I came into my full heritage last summer, my bloodwork changed so much that anything you have of mine is horribly outdated."

"But the Chamber opened for me!"

"It would have opened for any Parselmouth."

"I commanded Slytherin's own Basilisk."

"After 800 years of being locked in, it would have followed anyone."

"I will kill you for being so obstinate!"

"How? Your spell worked really well the last time."

"That was a fluke protection spell from that mudblood that whelped you. But since I have your blood, it is nullified now."

"Nope. It was the prophecy that protected me. You first had to mark me as your equal."

"That means it won't protect you now."

"Oh, but it will. The rest says that 'one has to die at the hands of the other'. I doubt that a killing curse qualifies as your 'hands'."

"That is a load of cow-dung. After all, I am older and far more knowledgable than you ever will be. Since it will be my hands that wield the wand for your killing spell, the prophecy won't protect you."

"Sorry to disappoint you. We found the library of Atlantis recently, and a very helpful studying charm. All evidence points that the prophecy has to be taken literally."

"My practical knowledge is still a lot better. It will take you years to catch up."

"The Room of Requirement solved that problem for me. I just required more time to study, and it gave me several years in one month."

"You don't look any older."

"Glamours."

"But without your wand, you are helpless."

"So are you. And I'm not as helpless as you think. I learned some wandless magic, too, and if that doesn't help, I can do elemental magic. I doubt you're immune to several thousand degree hot flames."

"What boasting. I doubt that you can follow through with those threats. And anyways, as soon as your attention wavers, I will kill you."

"Constant Vigilance, you mean? I took those lessons to heart months ago. Adding that to my newfound sense of magical awareness, and I am always prepared. By the way, Bella, you should watch out."

Bella Lestrange, who was duelling Neville Longbottom off to the side, looked towards him. "Watch out for what?"

That short moment of distraction was enough for Neville to sneak in an expelliarmus, quickly followed by a bodybind.

"That expelliarmus," Harry helpfully added just a tad too late. Turning back to Voldemort, he explained. "I've somehow inherited the power to see into the future. That must be something of the Ravenclaw heritage through my mother's side. Oh, did I forget to mention that? I'm the heir of all four founders, and the last of the line of Merlin, too."

Voldemort was looking increasingly anxious. "But I am a genious! You will never be able to thwart my plans."

"Those plans you have secretly been stashing away in your bedroom closet? Snape has kept us informed on them. To be honest, they are so faulty that you could drive trucks through its holes."

Now, Voldemort was positively green in his face. His complexion did not mesh well with his red eyes. "You are lying! You never managed to get around to blocking me out, so I know that isn't true!"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "You think you know my mind? You see exactly what I let you see. After fifth year, I knew to get serious about defending my mind. If I wanted to, I could crush you right now with my mental powers alone."

That was the moment when Hermione finally finished her dimensional spell and sent an inattentive Voldemort into a hell dimension. The rest of the Death Eaters was quickly defeated without their Lord, and peace returned into the country.

Harry and Ron flapped down into the grass. Ron exclaimed. "Whew, we're lucky you managed to discover the powers he knows not and stall him long enough."

Harry nodded. "Yeah. Didn't know I could bluff so well."

Crys replied:

Thanks.    Scene added to file.

Sakiku posted a comment on Wednesday 17th January 2007 12:32am

Sorry if I offended you by fleshing out those bunnies myself... It's just too much fun for me. You can take those bunnies and put them into a costume of your own; perhaps you can manage to word them a lot shorter than my versions.

Nonetheless, here's another one.

Lord Voldemort was cackling insanely with his wand trained on a helpless muggle. This was the third night in a row that they were going on raids, and he was enjoying himself immensely.

Unbeknownst to him, two featureless shadows, one with blond hair, one with dark hair, were watching the mayhem. Both were clad entirely in black, with stretchy half-masks covering their mouths and various weapons and scrolls secreted away in countless pouches. Seemingly without regard to gravity, they clung to a vertical wall near the ceiling. Fingers, dexterous from forming seales for years, flashed quickly through a sign language.

_Hey, bastard, didn't think your idea for our business worked that well._

_Idiot, everyone hates snakes._

_But why do they always have to look like them, too?_

_Too much exposure. That dog clan looks like their mutts, too. And think of that loon over in Sand. For that matter, get a mirror for yourself._

_Hey, it's not my fault that I got stuck with the Fox!_

_Whatever. Let's get down to business._

_Yeah. After Orochimaru, that one should be a piece of cake._

Fingers continued flashing, but this time, it wasn't any kind of sign language...

Crys replied:

No offended at all.   I   haven't decided if I'm going to rework the bunnies or take the scenes whole.

At any rate, this one (a fox spirit??) I don't recognize.   Afraid I'm not going to use this.

Sakiku posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 11:36am

Quite bored by a resting period after last night's raid, Lord Voldemort was looking for entertainment. Moving from room to room in his huge mansion, he was pestering his Death Eaters.

Bella was currently knitting silver and green socks for her Draco-poo. Voldemort fled before she offered to enlighten him on the finer details of embroidery.

Crabbe and Goyle were standing opposite each other, looking at the other's bulging groins respectively. "Didn't quite work. With Lissa, it always did," Crabbe enunciated slowly. "Mhm," Goyle nodded dumbly, "maybe that's why Manx always makes me take off my trousers first." Voldemort fled that scene, too, especially since he had left the two of them last evening in the very same pose.

Severus Snape was scowling at a stack of paper, a quill dipping into blood-red ink over and over again and scrawling furious notes.

"What are you doing, Severus?"

The potions master looked up with a sneer on his face - that quickly rearranged itself into a pleasant expression at the sight of his visitor. "Grading potions essays, Master."

Lord Voldemort debated with himself. Should he or should he not? Finally, he decided that he was bored enough, and he had always liked potions. "Let me help you, my servant. You must have precious little time with all those miscreants you teach."

Severus Snape shot him an odd look. "Yes, Master. They make the same mistakes over and over again, never learning a thing."

Sitting down in a chair opposite his spy, Lord Voldemort grabbed the nearest stack of parchment and an unused quill. When seeing the even odder look from his spy, he commented: "I haven't had potions for quite some time, but I still know enough to mark those for you."

"Yes, Master," came the reply with barely suppressed astonishment.

For some time, everything was quiet except the furious scribble of two quills and the liberal application of red ink. Suddenly, the Dark Lord gave out a bellowing laugh.

"What is it, Master?"

"I don't know why you are complaining so much about that boy; he wrote the same things I would have. Quite a bright boy, I must say."

"Master, are we talking about the same boy? The one I know is a desaster."

"Yes, yes, Severus. Unless you have two of them, this is the same one. I'd say he has as much talent as I have."

His spy was now shooting him a look he couldn't quite identify. With a flourish, Voldemort drew a bright red 'O' onto the parchment.

"But, Master, how can you say the boy has as much talent as you when he brews such rot?"

Severus Snape took out a vial of an unidentifiable, light blue substance. "This is supposed to be a calming potion."

Taking the vial with the potion that the boy, whose essay he had just marked as his equal had brewed, Lord Voldemort quickly got to know the power he knew not before.

Neville Longbottom could make any potion into an explosive.

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.

Sakiku posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 10:32am

Two bound figures were brought before Lord Voldemort. The slightly smaller one started talking.

"Master, do you feel that, too?"

Before the Dark Lord could answer, the other one responded.

"Yes, my Padawan, I do."

"It is like a great disturbance in the Force. So much dark energy."

"Yes, Padawan. I think our time for negotiation is over."

Two lightsabers ignited.

Sakiku posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 10:21am

"My dear Bella, is that what I think that is?"

"Well, Master, that depends on what you think it is."

"A muggle alarm clock."

"No, Master, I don't think it is an alarm clock. It is counting backwards. See? First, it was 60 seconds, now it is at 35."

"Then what do you think it is?"

"I'd say it is an egg-timer."

"Why would someone send me an egg-timer?"

"To make sure that you don't overboil your eggs. I know you like them best when they are still soft in the middle."

"What a thoughtful gift. It cannot be a current model though because nowadays, the power source is included inside the egg-timer, not linked to it by several red and blue wires. Strange that it doesn't come with an off-button..."

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.

Sakiku posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 10:05am

Oooh, I love those Stargate ones. Here's another one:

For a change, Asgard Commander Thor was quite bored. His ship was stationed in earth orbit, and he was waiting for the SG-center to come up with an answer to their latest problem.

Idly, he flipped channels on his computer screen that was fed by several hundred thousand surveillance cameras. Humans in all sizes and colors went after their daily routine.

Suddenly, Thor sat up straight and played back the footage he had just watched. And then played it again in comparison to other footage he had recorded. Well, he wasn't an expert on human physiognomy, but that man clearly was an abnomaly.

Nobody knew it, but Asgard could growl quite fervently. Thor was making liberal use of that mode of speech.

"I swear it, Loki, this time you've gone too far! Breeding humans with goa'uld and then letting that experiment run amok! It will be my pleasure to clean this planet of such an abominable creature."

With a cackle nobody would have thought such a frail figure capable of, his thin fingers hit a button.

Crys replied:

Thanks.    Scene added to file.

Sakiku posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 9:44am

Sorry, I had to get rid of that bunny before it hopped away. I don't think you've got that way yet, have you? You can modify it all you want if it doesn't suit you.

Great way to get my inspiration going, so thanks for that very amusing challenge. I've been laughing myself sick for the past few hours...

Crys replied:

I'm glad you're enjoying writing up bunnies for me.

I'm more glad you're enjoying reading them all.

Sakiku posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 9:39am

Irritably, Lord Voldemort scratched at his skin. For the last few days, he had been itching like mad. None of the salves Severus Snape had brewed for him helped, and none of the tomes he had looked through had any solution.

With a snarl, Voldemort scratched himself against his throne, clearly very, very uncomfortable in his skin. It had taken him three whole years to key the Resurrection Ritual to himself, and he had found several accounts throughout history that it was a real ritual.

Biting his lips, Voldemort dug his fingernails into the armrest of the chair to keep himself from scratching any further. The keying part was crucial in the ritual, and since he was a Parselmouth, he had thought to employ his affinity for snakes. Snakes were great creatures: quick, agile, knew to defend themselves, were excellent spies, exeedingly clever, and allround-talents.

Not able to contain himself any longer, Voldemort scratched furiously at his forearms. Was his skin getting looser? To his horror, his skin finally ripped open and peeled away in long, meaty strips. And still he had to keep scratching.

A few days later, a lifeless, reddish-wet bundle was found in the Dark Lord's castle. Apparently, Lord Voldemort had inherited a few more not-so-welcome traits from his beloved snakes. A pity that humans do not survive shedding their skin quite so well...

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.

powellt posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 4:28am

Have you seen this one yet?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3290322/1/
The Power
My thoughts on The power The Dark Lord Knows Not.

From SotF

Crys replied:

No, i hadn't seen that.   Thank you for pointing it out.

I used Ghostbusters, but Godzilla isn't something that I think I'll get into . . .

Stupid Fox posted a comment on Tuesday 16th January 2007 3:47am

Right. My mistake.

Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 15th January 2007 7:53am

Tom Riddle should really had paid attention to all the rules when confronted with a hippogryf when he had his Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Like when flying on such a creature never pull out the feathers they don't like it very much.

Greetings

Killer07

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.   Your 49th

Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 15th January 2007 7:39am

Tom Riddle creates his first Hocrux. Somethink went wrong and the personality of the Tom Riddle Hocrux has the opposite polarity than the original. The good Tom Riddle decides he can't let the evil get away and takes his life force to get corporeal and replace him.

Greetings

Killer07 (I think my ideas get rare to... maybe i look through the old ideas that i send you if they can be recycled...)

Viglant posted a comment on Monday 15th January 2007 2:57am

Looking up his gear..full diving gear..Check, 1
portkey to the lake near to Burrow..Check..
That would teach them a lesson.. "killing That Potter right front of that red-haired wench.."
Voldemort thought..
They are coming!! came warning from Spy..
Activate Portkey!!..

When Voldemort was ready to go to surface,he felt sharp teeths digging his scrawny legs.
His magic was useless againts mature Grindylow,
who was looking snack for his mate..
Few bubbles came to surface..Harry and Ginny were too occupied snogging to notice...

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to the next chapter.

Deborahsu posted a comment on Saturday 13th January 2007 10:56am

wonderful! LOL!!! Especially the last one. ;-)

Stupid Fox posted a comment on Saturday 13th January 2007 9:47am

How about a Splinching death? Also, anything involving land mines or the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona?

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny (splinching) added to file.   The running of the bulls thing has already been used.   See # 64 D

Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 12th January 2007 7:45am

17 year old Tom Riddle goes into the Forbidden Forest and makes the mistake to insult some centaurs. He did the same think the years before but forgot that centaurs react a little bit different if someone isn't a child anymore :-)

Greetings

Killer07

Crys replied:

Thanks.   Bunny added to file.   Your 48th.