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David Thacker posted a comment on Wednesday 3rd February 2010 1:47am

I got this idea from reading your "Dream Jounal" story the chapter "Finite Totalus". Harry use that spell and it ends all of the magic Voldemort did to get his body back and it undose the soul things he uses to stay alive.

Nancy Austin posted a comment on Monday 14th December 2009 3:37pm

Thanks! My son and I figured out the Else-Norway. Tremendous fun!

Eric Oppen posted a comment on Monday 30th November 2009 7:04am

Lord Voldemort had cornered Harry Potter in Ireland. Ignoring the beautiful manor he found himself in, he looked around for the pesky Boy-who-Lived. At his feet, two muggles lay dead.

Suddenly, a very, very large Muggle, bigger than Crabbe or Goyle, appeared, with a young boy in tow. The boy looked at Voldemort.

"My name is Artemis Fowl. You killed my father and my mother. Prepare to die."

Voldemort laughed, and levelled his wand to cast the Killing Curse. Nothing happened.

"Oh, by the way---I detected you on the grounds, saw that you were a wizard and hostile, and threw up a LEP Recon anti-magic shield. You have no magic available." He turned to the very large Muggle. "Butler---would you do the honors?"

When it was all over, Harry Potter came out. "I see you caught him, Artemis." He stared at what had been the Dark Lord Voldemort. "Yeeeesh...I didn't think that human bones could break in so many ways."

"I was annoyed about Mr. and Mrs. Fowl." growled Butler.

"I'll grieve later. Right now, I've got to get this LEP Recon technology back to Holly. She had warned me that this creep might make an appearance; unfortunately, I didn't manage to make my parents believe it."

Crys replied:

I only vaguely recognize the name Artemis Fowl, but don't know what series it's from.  Sorry.

Suukibotan posted a comment on Wednesday 19th August 2009 4:30pm

I have an idea, not total formed, so here it is. What if Voldy won a contest for a cleaning show and they cleaned his hideout? Then he could get mad, try to AK the host, but have it hit a mirror that he hadn't noticed before and killing him instead.

Suukibotan posted a comment on Sunday 16th August 2009 3:34pm

"Well, Bob, it's been a great day at the Daytonn 500 so far."
"You're right Jim. And as you can see, Jeff Gordon's in the lead as the racers come into the 50th lap. Wait a minute. Someone's just appeared on the track! What's he doing?"
"Looks like he's waving some sort of stick around."
"Whatever he's doing he's got to get off the track before the racers come around!"
"It doesn't look like he's gonna move, Bob."
"Ohh! He just got run down by the racers!"
"In all my years of Nascar, I've never seen anything quite like this."
"You said it, Jim."
(Just so you know, this is where Voldy apperates onto the Daytona track during a NASCAR race.)

Suukibotan posted a comment on Wednesday 12th August 2009 5:39pm

The dark lord looked at himself in the mirror and decided that he would look good with a tan. He used an obscure tanning spell that he had looked up for use in his tortures. Unfortunatly, he put a little too much power behind the spell. His Death Eaters found his ashes two weeks later.

Suukibotan posted a comment on Wednesday 12th August 2009 5:18pm

Here's another! I've been watching too much Doctor Who. ^_^;

Voldemort completed the ritual to summon a creature that would help him to destroy Harry Potter and eagerly greeted the forms that appeared.

"I am Lord Voldemort and I comand you to help me kill Harry Potter!"

One of the metal creatures spoke. "WE DO NOT TAKE OR-DERS FROM A HU-MAN. THE DAL-EKS WILL CON-CURE THIS PLA-NET. EX-TER-MINATE! EX-TER-MINATE!"

The last thing Voldemort saw was a white light before he experienced a very painful death.

Suukibotan posted a comment on Wednesday 12th August 2009 3:01pm

Voldemort let out a triumphant laugh as he stood over the battered form of Harry Potter. "You have lost! I, Lord Voldemort, shall rule the Wizarding world forever!"

Voldemort lifted his wand, the killing curse on his lips, when a strange grinding noise sounded above him. He looked up in time to be squashed by a blue box with the words 'Police Public Call Box' written on the top.

Harry stared in amazment as the door opened and a brown haired man stepped out followed by a blond haired girl.

"Look, Rose, It's not my fault the Tardis fell like that. There must have been something in the way." The man noticed Harry and gave a huge grin. "Hello, I'm the Doctor! Did I interupt anything?"

vj posted a comment on Tuesday 11th August 2009 6:40pm

Harry Potter had arrived at the site in a a big red truck. He stepped out to face his destiny against Lord Voldemort.

Voldemort for his part smirked.

"What will you do now Harry, I own the allegiances to every magical creature, the entire wizarding world serves me, or is under the imperius, and you have no friends left. how will you defeat me now?"

Harry just smiled as the big red truck - big red FIREtruck turned into a big machine.

"Autobots! Roll out!"

Crys replied:

Transformers was used in #194.

Thanks for the review, though.

Vincent posted a comment on Thursday 6th August 2009 10:26pm

Here is another idea for voldemort to die but it requires some knowledge of Terry Pratchett's discworld series, namely this The Luggage
Somehow harry gets this item and when Voldie tries to kill him, the luggage doesn't take kindly and well..... it eats voldie (bonuspoints if it gets sick from eating voldie)

akun5000 posted a comment on Tuesday 21st July 2009 9:17pm

Here's a few I came up with.

----------------

Voldemort, upon hearing the full prophecy, strode forth into battle with his Death Eaters, ignoring all attacks, save the ones that came from Harry Potter as he floated arrogantly off the ground to show his might.

He came to a very messy end very quickly as the combined magics destroyed his body and magical core.

"What about the prophecy?!" Dumbledore asked, flabbergasted at the complete defeat of Lord Voldemort aka. Tom Riddle at the hands of someone other than Harry Potter.

Everyone shrugged.

----

Voldemort, upon hearing the full prophecy and wisely waiting until Dumbledore was dead, strode forth into battle with his Death Eaters, ignoring all attacks, save the ones that came from Harry Potter as he floated arrogantly off the ground to show his might.

Naturally, because of the fear of his might, many aurors and even members of the Order of the Phoenix didn't dare cast a single hex his way.

That is, until Hermoine Granger noticed no one was even willing to challenge the Dark Lord. A bit of the infamous Gryffindor courage boiled up within her and she cast a powerful 'Finite' spell at him to cancel his flying powers.

Lord Voldemort stiffened, then collapsed into dust.

"What just happened?!" came the inquiry from Professor McGonagall asked, flabbergasted much in the same manner that Dumbledore would've been at the complete defeat of Lord Voldemort aka. Tom Riddle at the hands of someone other than Harry Potter.

"I... think I just ended the Horcrux spell... as well as the ritual magic keeping his artificial body together." Hermoine said, blinking with confusion.

"You mean that would've actually worked?!" Harry inquired. He'd contemplated casting the Finite on Tom back in the graveyard, but had gone for the safer disarming charm...

David Thacker posted a comment on Tuesday 21st July 2009 3:44pm

Here ios one that hit me when I was reading a Vampier Harry story and it is Harry useing the same spell that Lockhart used on his arm on Riddles whole body.If it has been done then over look this.

Regina Noctis posted a comment on Sunday 19th July 2009 9:54am

Whee, I got more! XD Hope you enjoy it! :D

P.S. In my Torchwood entry, I forgot to italicize the spells. I'm an idiot. xP

**********

“Harry?”

“Yes, Ron.”

“You remember what I told you about what we Weasley Brothers would do to anyone who ever hurt Ginny, right?”

“Well, of course. But I haven’t hurt Ginny, so what—”

“Don’t worry, we know that. It’s not you we’re talking about now, it’s Voldemort. We’ve just finished a Weasley Family Council and decided that the incident with Voldemort’s diary in second year qualifies as an attempted assault against our Ginny, and we’re going to have to take some action against him.”

“Oh?”

“Between Bill’s Curse of the Mummy, Charlie’s dragons, Percy’s flying cauldron army with perfectly consistent bottoms, Fred and George’s deluxe magical bombs, and my Amplified Castration Hex…Harry, I don’t think there’ll be enough pieces of Voldemort left that will be big enough for the prophecy to apply.”

**********

Voldemort met Chuck Norris.

End of story.

**********

Voldemort decided to install a set of lifts in the old Riddle Manor that was serving as Death Eater headquarters these days. As soon-to-be Supreme Ruler of the Wizarding World, it only made sense that he have a little luxury in his everyday life, right?

On his first trip in the new lift, Voldemort stepped into the boxy chamber from his second-floor study and pressed the button that would take him to the ground floor.

Nothing happened. The doors didn’t even close.

Voldemort pressed the button again, perplexed. Again, nothing happened.

Beginning to get annoyed, Voldemort punched the button repeatedly as hard as he could. Still no response.

Finally, he drew his wand and aimed it at the lift’s control pad. “Avada Kedavra!” he screamed, hoping to get some response out of it.

The lift responded by snapping its cables and dropping all the way down to the ground floor, exploding in a smoky fireball at the bottom of the shaft.

**********

Voldemort Apparated to the place where his trackers had last registered the location of his prey. There, sitting at an “outdoor” café table in the middle of one of London’s biggest department stores, was Potter. The boy looked up and, seeing Voldemort appear right in front of him, jumped up, knocking over his table in the process, and fled on foot.

Voldemort bared his teeth and followed on Potter’s heels. All the way to the base of a Muggle escalator that Potter was taking in leaps and bounds, sometimes skipping two steps at a time.

Voldemort quickly discovered several things during his run up the escalator after Potter.

First, he was badly out of shape.

Second, the escalator was moving in a downward fashion, resulting in both himself and Potter not actually getting very far.

Third, Muggle trainers and jeans seemed to have an advantage over long Wizarding robes when it came to moving on escalators.

Voldemort tripped when his robes snagged on the steps, landed flat on his face, and was promptly pulled under by the inexorable “teeth” of the escalator.

**********

Voldemort Apparated to a shabby building in London where his trackers had last registered the location of his prey. A sign at the entrance of the building read, MUSIC SCHOOL FOR BEGINNERS. Voldemort sneered and entered, stalking through the corridors before stopping at the door which practically pulsed with Potter’s magical aura.

With a flourish, Voldemort blasted the door open—

And keeled over at the sudden blast of harsh sound that came from the room.

Harry stared in some confusion at the dead Dark Lord sprawled at the entrance, then at the bagpipes in his hand which he’d just taken a blast on when Voldemort attempted to enter.

**********

“Potter, you’re mine!” Voldemort crowed over the boy’s prone body in the final battle. But just before he could kill the boy…

“OH NO YEH DON’, YEH RUDDY BLASTED SNAKE!”

A bearded man of gigantic proportions came running over, his every step visibly shaking the ground. He was waving a ragged pink umbrella over his head, which he suddenly brought to bear on Voldemort’s chest, skidding to a halt before the stunned Dark Lord.

“No one’s goin’ ta hurt me Harry!” bellowed the man. He waved his umbrella around like one would a wand, showering Voldemort with sparks, before shoving the umbrella forward like a rapier.

Hagrid accidentally skewered Voldemort on the end of his umbrella while trying to cast a protective spell over Harry.

Regina Noctis posted a comment on Friday 17th July 2009 4:22am

misterq, the Gummy Bears (and I think it is Gummy Bears, unless it's different in the UK) idea is HILARIOUS. I bloody love the things. I'll never be able to stop laughing when I see them now. XD

Regina Noctis posted a comment on Thursday 16th July 2009 3:37am

Yay, and here's another one! Can't remember if you've already done a Torchwood one, though. >.>

.......

In a time-travel experiment gone wrong, Voldemort found himself stuck a decade in the future with no way of getting back to kill that noisome Potter brat. After snooping around the local underground scene for a few days, Voldemort caught wind of talk of people called Time Agents who might be able to help him. One of the number happened to be living in Cardiff, which wasn’t terribly far from the London secret-house he was staying at. Voldemort Apparated to the town one morning, walked around a bit until he found the building that was known to his sources as “Torchwood,” then Apparated directly inside.

The presence of such a powerful magical being made the lights and other electrical machinery in the room flicker off and on madly, which also drew the attention of the two shirtless men snogging in the Atrium where Voldemort arrived. With a contemptuous sneer, as much at their obvious Muggleness as at their disgusting behavior, he pointed his wand at the closer of the pair. “Avada Kedavra!”

The man dropped like a stone, and Voldemort flicked his body away without a second thought. The other man’s cry of horror at his lover’s death had been cut short, and now this man was staring at the tip of Voldemort’s wand, now aimed at his chest.

“I need to see a Time Agent. Are you one?” The man shook his head frantically, but remained silent. “Well, who is, then? Take me to him!” The man did not respond. Voldemort scowled. “Fine, if you don’t want to talk. I’ll just have to make you, shall I? Cru—“

And then a .35-mm bullet tore through his larynx and settled into the base of his skull, destroying his brain stem and killing the Dark Lord instantly.

The formerly-dead man slowly stood up from his corner of the Atrium, tossing the handgun back into the desk drawer he’d retrieved it from. Then, he limped back over to the dead Voldemort. “Hmm. Humanoid, but the first I’ve ever seen with a wooden blaster.” He kicked away the wand without another thought. “Should I take the body down to Medical, Ianto?”

“Nah. Myfanwy can have him,” Ianto Jones said, referring to Torchwood’s pet pterodactyl. “Besides…I think he interrupted us, didn’t he, Jack?”

“Oh. Right.” Captain Jack Harkness, Time Agent and immortal extraordinaire, grinned. “You can start by kissing my pains away…”

Suukibotan posted a comment on Monday 13th July 2009 8:37pm

Another!

Voldemort laughed as he stood over the dead body of Harry Potter. "I've won! I've cheated Fate and Death!"

Suddenly he tripped on a rock, which sent him tumbling over a cliff, which happened to have razor sharp rocks on the bottom as well as a large population of flesh eating slugs, which was very strange because he was in front of Hogwarts.

Fate is a very sore looser.

AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!

Voldemort had completed his final horcrux and now stood on a hill, a storm raging around him as he gloated. "I am now immortal! I am greater even than the Gods!"

A bolt of lighting hit his out stretched arm.

"Well, maybe equal-"

CRACK

"Maybe n-"

BOOM

"Okay! I get-"

BOOMCRACK

"I'm sorr-"

CRACKLE

"..."

BOOM

The gods looked down at Voldemort. "Is he dead yet?"

"He better not be! I ain't getting him in the afterlife!"

Suukibotan posted a comment on Monday 13th July 2009 8:05pm

i've got another one for ya.

Ridcully looked at the stain that now in habited the ritual room's wall. "What do you think it is Stibbons?"

Ponder adjusted his glasses and peered closely at it. "I'm not sure, Archansallor. But it was humanoid."

"What?"

"It was human-like, sir."

"Ah, yes. And where is Rincewind? Did he survive the trip?"

"Well, according to my calculations, the spell should have been able to slow him down before his arrival. Unlike this....person."

"Poor chap. Oh well. Let's see if we can find that poor excuse for a wizard this time."

Meanwhile....

Rincewind looked at all the skull masked men in dark robes nervously. "Um, so sorry to intrude. Nice costumes. I'm sure Death would be impressed."

The robed figures stood silent, still in shock over their master's disappearance.

Rincewind decided that this would be a good time to run. And run he did.

Suukibotan posted a comment on Monday 13th July 2009 6:45pm

how about this? it's more about what happens to voldy after his death. hope its okay.

Death sat behind his desk,idly toying with his model of the Discworld as he studied the red-eyed dog called the Grimm.

SO, YOU NEED ME TO DISTRACT THIS...He glanced at an empty hourglass as he pulled it out of his robes, TOM RIDDLE DURING A DUEL SO YOU MAY COLLECT HIS SOUL?

The Grimm nodded and Death sighed.

VERY WELL. I SHALL SADDLE UP BINKY, THEN WE WILL GO.
******
Voldemort and Harry were trading spells as fast as they could, speaking almost no incantations. They were evenly matched and beginning to slow down.

Harry cast a Reducto at Voldemort's head and Tom was about to throw up a shield, but hesitated a split second too long. Harry's spell hit and Voldemort perished in a fountain of blood.

Harry was then enveloped in the embrace of his two best friends, but he still had a puzzled look on his face.

Ron noticed this. "Mate, what's wrong?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Just before my curse hit Riddle, he seemed to have seen something over my shoulder."

All three turned to look behind them, but saw nothing besides the cheering crowds.

"Oh well," said Hermione, "at least the bugger's dead."

Ron and Harry nodded at this, then the trio joined in the festivities.
******
TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE?

"What!?" Tom spun around and his expression turned from annoyance to pure rage. "You! You're the one who distracted me with that muggle blade!"

YES.

"Who are you?"

I AM DEATH.

Tom's face displayed his horror. "No! Impossible! I am Lord Voldemort! I am immortal!!"

EVEN THE GODS SHALL ONE DAY DIE.

"Wait! I can demand a game, right?"

Death shrugged, a very expressive movement for a skeleton, and turned to the Grimm who sat watching nearby. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The Grimm nodded.

VERY WELL. YOU MAY HAVE ONE GAME.

Riddle's face lit with unholy glee as he began to formulate several chess strategies(Slytherin champion seven years running).

BUT NOT CHESS.

Riddle looked up sharply. "Why not?"

I FORGET HOW THE LITTLE HORSE MOVES.

"Fine. You may chose the game."
*******
I WIN.

"No! I demand a rematch!"

THIS IS YOUR 3,609,563 THIRD GAME.

"I don't care! I will win!"

VERY WELL. DO YOU WISH TO BE GREEN?

"Yes."

THEN I SHALL BE BLACK. REMEMBER, WHOM EVER REACHES THE CANDY CASTLE--

"I know, I know! Arg! I hate CandyLand!"

YOU DID SAY I COULD CHOSE THE GAME.

"Augh!"

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Sunday 12th July 2009 11:18am

From Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts by Clell65619 (not mine):


A few minutes later the sounds of combat faded, only to be punctuated by a single, sibilant voice crying out, "DAMN YOU POTTER! This cannot be! I cannot lose! I am invinci...."

"Would you please just shut the hell up? Every bloody time we've faced each other you told me that I can't possibly be doing what I'm doing. It's very annoying."

"oh-h-h-h, SHIIIIIIIIT!"

"You know Harry... That's not really what I expected a Dark Lord's last words to be."

misterq posted a comment on Sunday 5th July 2009 5:40am

Sometimes my brain scares me... here's another one:

"So you're saying that Voldemort has this thing where he can hear anyone in Britain say his name at any time? And he gets an image of who said it and their location in his mind?" Harry asked Hermione.

"Yes, Harry. It's called 'taboo'," the bushy haired witch answered before noticing a slowly spreading grin on Harry Potter's face, "What are you smiling about, Harry?"

"You'll see. I only have a few months before holidays, but it should be enough time," The boy muttered to himself as he left a thoroughly confused witch alone.

Time passed and Hermione was spending Christmas at home with the family. One Saturday morning, she got a strange phone call from her friend from Hogwarts.

"Harry? Is that you?" she said in the phone.

"Yep. Do me a favor and turn on the telly to any channel that is showing cartoons."

Hermione did that, "Okay, now what?"

"Now, well. Just wait for the next commercial."

Hermione sat through ten minutes of mind-numbing children's programming before the commercial started. Immediately, her jaw dropped.

On the screen were two animated children that more than resembled herself and Harry Potter. There were sitting in the forest around a table made from a tree stump, complete with tablecloth, and eating some kind of cereal with great abandon.

"I love these Crunchy Wizard Flakes!" exclaimed animated Harry.

"I love how the eleven vitamins and minerals help me grow." exclaimed animated Hermione.

"I love getting Crunchy Wizard Flakes all for myself! Mwahaha!" from off screen appeared a crudely animated version of Voldemort, although a perpetual rain cloud hung over his head at all times and moved when he did.

"It's Voldemort, the Soggy Sorcerer!" exclaimed the animated children.

"Now to find out Crunchy Wizard Flake's crunchy secret!" animated Voldemort pulled out a soggy limp noodle-like wand and cast a soggy limp spell. Animated Harry used his bowl of cereal to reflect the magic back at the animated sorcerer and causing him to become all soggy and limp. Animated Voldemort tried to take a step, but tripped over his robe and fell down on the ground in a heap.

"Your soggy sorcerer magic is no match for Crunchy Wizard Flakes, Voldemort!" exclaimed animated Hermione.

An animated version of Dumbledore appeared behind the two kids, "Crunchy Wizard Flakes are good for you, taste great, and stay crunchy in milk because in addition to all the vitamins and minerals, there is a little bit of something magic in each bowl."

The real Hermione noticed tiny print appear near the bottom of the television that said 'Actual magic not used in the manufacture of Crunchy Wizard Flakes'.

"Crunchy Wizard Flakes!" exclaimed the animated kids that were now levitating a soggy animated Voldemort.

"Now with marshmallow wands!" exclaimed animated Dumbledore.

"Ow!" exclaimed animated floating Voldemort as his head accidentally hit a tree and tiny birds appeared around it, which his rain cloud immediately drenched. The wet birds fell to the ground as the commercial ended.

Hermione reached for the remote and turned off the television without saying a word.

Then she just sat there, with her mouth opened.

"Hello? Hermione, what did you think? Are you there?" asked Harry Potter over the phone.

After a moment, Hermione regained the power of speech. "What do I think? WHAT DO I THINK!?"

"Yeah, brilliant, wasn't it?"

"No. No it wasn't. Now the Dark Lord is going to come after everyone at the television studio and.."

"No he won't. I had the animation and voices contracted out in Asia. The taboo doesn't reach there. Plus, he isn't going to be doing much of anything, Hermione."

"What do you mean?"

"How many television sets are there in England alone? How many of those have children watching cartoons? Twenty million or so? Plus how many non magical kids will be saying his name after seeing this? I bought the cereal company and came up with the ad campaign myself for this very reason. Hermione, what do you think the effect of twenty million televisions shouting out his name every thirty minutes or so will do to Tom Riddle's brain?"

Hermione thought for a moment and then smiled, "So much for the soggy sorcerer!"