lenny posted a comment on Saturday 24th October 2009 12:04am for Epilogue

wow the end again

lenny posted a comment on Saturday 24th October 2009 12:04am for Epilogue

wow

Aberbadger posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:27pm for Epilogue

Nice idea, but rather seemed like you got bored in the end and thought "to hell with it, I just want this over and done with!"... It doesn't have to be a 30k epic, but it shouldn't be "oh, by the way, they lived happily ever after", either...

Slayer89 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:16pm for Epilogue

It was a good story! I dont know others sentiment on the last three chapter but for me was disappointing , but this only my opinion

sparrowphoenix posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:04pm for Epilogue

Too Short :(

It was a good story, just wish the chapters were a bit longer :)

Darkness posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 10:04pm for Epilogue

I honestly felt this story was going to be a word-busting epic..oh well. The last 2 chapters did not really mesh with whatever came before, IMHO. From the final battle onwards, the story kind of..lost steam and deflated? Sorry if I'm being a bit harsh, but the sudden change in narrative was rather jarring.

Stanger posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 9:04pm for Epilogue

thanks, great last chapter, though, i would hope you write a sequel, i just can't get enough of this pairing, and story

LynnTerald posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 8:58pm for Epilogue

Better, but that's all I can really say. I like that Harry is minister and that there is no romance at the end. Its...a tidy ending to a chaotic life.

cmatbmed posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 8:40pm for Epilogue

fail

Quackpotty posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 8:21pm for Epilogue

It's sad that it's finished, but thanks for the story. I enjoyed it, despite what happened to Daphne.

Crys replied:

Thank you.   Glad you enjoyed it.

Kalen Darkmoon posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 8:18pm for Epilogue

Oh and to be clear, I am not saying Hermione and/or Tracey owe him their undying love themselves.

Only that they do owe him some consideration for his own life/happiness given all of the trauma he was subjected to for their sakes and survival.

They both know that he his hopeless with girls because he lacks confidence and self-esteem. But yet they do nohing to assist him in his life or happiness.

If they were real friends they would have recognized the level of sacrifice that was exacted from him and would aid him where they could. They do owe him their concern and I daresay even their assistance in some way to see that he isn't left remaining alone and unloved.

Especially when Hermione knew that the greatest thing his heart desired most in life, as was shown in canon , was a loving family. (And again not contradicted in this story.) Tracey certainly knew to some degree about his feelings given Harry's refusal to accept Daphne's advances because he wanted it to be fully of her own free will to love and want to be intimate with him. Not because it was expected or required because of their enslavement.

As they weren't even remotely shown really caring about him at all or assisting him in any way, I see them in this story as little more than selfish, ungrateful b*tches who do not deserve his time nor friendship. After all, they have been only shown as taking but never giving back in their relationship with him. I refuse to call that friendship. What they are shown as doing is really no more than taking advantage and using him for their own ends - their own security and happiness through his power/influence.

LDA posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 8:18pm for Epilogue

I have to ask, did you get bored with the story after you finished the Battle chapter and that is the reason why it went from great to crap in an instant?

novastorm76 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 8:11pm for Epilogue

That was a very unsatisfying end to a good story. Who is Harry with? How many time has passed? What else happened?

Rage and Light posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 7:45pm for Epilogue

I am sorry to say these last few chapters have feeling destroyed what began as a very good story, I do not know why you decided to go down this road but in my mind it was the wrong choice. Someone pointed out an area in one of the earlier reviews and I agree with it. Daphne should not have died I think she would have made a good wife for harry at the end.

Sorry I don't usually like putting up a negative review but I can't help it with this

david

Kalen Darkmoon posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 7:36pm for Epilogue

Perhaps this story is more realistic than you intended. After all, it is a well known truth that nice guys NEVER get the girl in RL. -At least until she is dumped and needs a shoulder to cry on for a bit (or needs any other kind of help) before moving on to the next guy, again tossing aside the one that has given the most. That goes on for many women until she hits her 30's, has put on weight and/or needs some stupid nice guy to help her take care of the kids she had with all the others she slept with before finally coming to him "to settle down." Other guys that she apparently found more deserving of her affections but yet ultimately left her behind just as she did to the nice guys until she needs the fools to help bail her out and/or salvage her ego. Oh and lets not even begin to get into the infidelity rates among such women even after snagging the stupid nice guy. Infidelity rates statistically are over 65% for women in "committed" relationships or married. And since most playboys and promiscuous guys that they are drawn to never marry, we can see who pays the price for the infidelity most.

But that's a side issue that is tangent to what I am getting at here.

Because this really is similar for far too many of those in RL that risk their lives for the sake of others, like our soldiers overseas. Far too many of them face the same ingratitude, being tossed aside when unneeded and/or even worse betrayed for another in their absence.

Harry sacrificed a great deal for everyone and put a lot on the line to help Tracey and Daphne as well as save the world, but in the end everyone (even his best and only friends) go on with their lives without him - abandoned him. Even years later he is shown that he remains alone and they are only coming to see him for what they can get from him influentially/politacally rather than any care shown for him and his life. A young man they who has known virtually NO love in his life is used and cast aside by even those he considered his closest friends, those he risked and sacrificed the most for.

It mirrors real life in that it shows just how incredibly selfish the majority of people (in both RL and even among Harry's "closest" friends in this story) really are and how it's always themselves that they are concerned with first and foremost. Not the stupid schmuck that foolishly believed they were doing a good thing in fighting for and/or protecting them. Instead as is far too often shown (and thus rightly considered "realistic" by authors of fiction) such nice guys are often really only being used and tossed aside when no longer useful.

I saw absolutely no concern shown by Tracey, Hermione or anyone else regarding Harry's complete lack of love in his life and his being cast aside alone while they go on with their lives with only casual concern about what he can continue to do for them with his influence and/or political power. In fact despite what he sacrificed and did for her, Tracy even had the unmitigated gall to take a portion of the inheritance his parents left him when she cast him aside. It's disgusting that to the very end, he is used and then they walk away with no real concern shown for him or his life beyond what they can get from him.

I do congratulate you in that it is indeed a very realistic portrayal in how most children who are ill-treated and bullied so horribly (as Harry was shown to be in canon and not depicted any differently here) tend to grow up one of two extremes. Either vicious and cruel (Voldie) or the quintessential "nice guy" that does everything for the sakes of others with little or no concern for themselves nor their own happiness. All because they are always seeking the acceptance and affection of others they were denied all their lives - and in Harry's case to this bitter end continued to be in this story. They do what they do for even the small, temporary bit of seeming concern or caring for them it might garner. It's horribly sad and utterly disgusting to see others take advantage of such people - even cleaning them out monetarily as Tracey did.

Even if it was with his consent at the time it was taking advantage of him when he was vulnerable - hurt and alone with nobody to watch out for him or HIS interests or for his benefit.

It is very disheartening you chose to leave it so bitterly realistic, but then I suppose I can't really fault you in it being just that - realistic. Because that is what I see Harry left with here since nothing you have portrayed leads anyone to really believe otherwise... or they selfishly just don't care. You may show him happy in his public face/facade in this epilogue but I find it hard to believe that he would really be happy outside of his facade remaining alone.

Maybe I'm just too much of a sucker for happy endings (in the fiction I read to escape the harsh cruelties of reality/life) because ultimately, the end of this was absolutely hollow/empty for the hero that suffered so much. As such it left only bitter ashes for this reader. His struggle was meaningless and pointless in every way for his own sake and gained him absolutely nothing for himself in what matters most in life - love and acceptance for himself. (beyond what he can do for them and their sakes)

Crys replied:

This was meant to be realistic.   As you said, perhaps too realistic.

Since about the 5th book, I felt that JKR would leave the story with Harry alone.   It just seemed more believable.   Sad, maybe, but believable.

In retrospect, that may have been kinder than what she did to him.   But that's a whole other conversation regarding JKR's writing.

His state at this point?   Yes, he puts on a "happy face" for the world, but he's probably lonely.   Unfortunate as that is.

Thanks for reading.

grookill posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 6:17pm for Epilogue

This chapter didn't do it for me.

Throughout "Chattel" I was led to believe this was a romance story of sorts and then I read an ending that would be more appropriate for an adventure story where the relationships are secondary (at best) to the plot.

I really expected the final chapter to give a POSITIVE and possibly WAFFY ending.

The "other stuff" about Ron, being Minister, and the secretary was good.

Over all, a great story where the ending didn't come close to meeting expectations.

Jamey posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 5:51pm for Epilogue

Telegraphic - it could have been fleshed out more - but then I'm not exactly one to toss that stone, living in my own silicon dioxide structure.

I do like that you did not go for the easy "happily ever after" ending that ended up with Harry married to one, two or even three ladies.

I'm also not sure about Harry becoming the MoM, but I've never felt that was Harry's eventual role in life. I do tend to feel that designating Harry's vault as a trust vault (and I'd swear it is so designated somewhere in canon) means that there is another, likely significantly larger vault somewhere. With that, Harry finding out that he doesn't *NEED* to work, I've always imagined him taking on a house husband role, raising children while his wife is the bread-winner for the family (not that she really needs to, but it's what makes her feel fulfilled.)

In the end, I think you did a good job with this story - I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

GinnyLover posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 5:41pm for Epilogue

Thanks for the story! Got anything planned for the next story?


I do have the first chapter of a story that a friend and i wrote looking for an author if you would like to take a look at.

mwinter posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 5:19pm for Epilogue

Okay that was crappier then the last two. That was a lazy ending if I ever saw one. Its like you had the steam to work through most of the story then all of a sudden you give up but you want the story finished and the last three chapters is what we got. I would have rather had it abandoned. But hey that's my point of view. Some might like this ending. I don't.

Candyman posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 5:06pm for Epilogue

You got this idea from rosarchs blot, eh?
but that ending was... odd
who is nancy and where is he?

that, and I'm sad its over :(

Crys replied:

Nancy's his secretary.   He's the Minister of Magic.

Thanks for reading.