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kb0 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 4:57pm for Epilogue

Hmm, a tough one to review. Overall, I liked the story. I didn't like Daphne dying, but I can live with it. In the previous chapter (9), the way you let Harry and Tracey split, was a bit strange, but understandable. However, this last chapter makes no sense. The closure is not there. Sadly, this was easily fixable by adding 1 more sentence onto the end, something like:

"Thank you, dear," Harry said, shaking his head. "I'll see you at home tonight," he said as he walked back into his office.

Enough time has passed for Harry and Tracey to have worked things out. Or is the emphasized "pleasure" supposed to be showing that? If so, it's too subtle.

(aka kb0)

Crys replied:

Harry isn't married to either one.   I'm leaving it to the readers' imaginations as to just who (if anyone) he's dating.

Tracey's "pleasure" line was just her teasing.   And her recognition that the WW in general thinks that they're dating and is stirring the pot simply for her own amusement.

Thanks for reading.

brad posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 4:50pm for Epilogue

Okay, a short chapter, but epilogues tend to be that way. :-)

Nice punch line; glad to see that Harry made it to Minister.

A bit disappointing that my favourite girl for Harry, Hermione, didn't end up with him, but hey,that was just a crossed-fingers wish on my part. As it is - so, Hermione *did* get together with Neville, hey? Good oh. I think there were signs of a growing relationship between them in the story proper.

It would have been nice if the comedy act at the beginning had continued somewhat like this:

They turned to Harry in unison and said "But you're married to XXXX!"

... with you giving us the identity of XXXX, of course.

(Harry must entertain other female visitors in his office without drawing suspicion of improper conduct, surely? Maybe Hermione and Tracey visit him A LOT?)

The fates of Ron, Snape - yep, no surprises, but good to see their characterisation confirmed. Boo!

The more I think about it the more I like how you handled Tracey in the end. You bundled her up with Harry out of necessity, and had many readers either wanting/expecting them to proceed to falling in love (or at least having sex :() but as it was you defied the tropes and left things exactly as they had been established - Harry's a noble, decent and *good* bloke; Tracey (and Daphne) were attached to him out of necessity, for their *protection*, not love; and Tracey (at least) never professed to hold anything but respect and gratitude to her saviour.

Unlike Daphne whom, I think, we can say *was*, maybe, in love with Harry ... which I like, because it adds more depth to the flagrant promiscuity that she promenaded, and casts her lasciviousness in a somewhat better light.

(Tracey's first daughter will be called Daphne, right?)

Anyway, given that Tracey wasn't super-duper-desperately-in-love with Harry, it makes perfect sense for her to seize the opportunity and attempt to regain her freedom. The fact that she did it with the co-operation of Harry, and didn't use her success to any personal advantage beyond acquiring her freedom makes her one of the good guys too.

I think the chapter with the battle itself didn't work; much as I like the idea of a wizard called 'Brad' (yay!) I think maybe you could have designed that chapter better. Giving it more length, at least, to avoid that 'anticlimactic' feeling. Shifting back to Harry and his crew, even if it would mean your having to write more of the actual clash between Voldemort and his nemesis.

Thank you for the story!

Crys replied:

I wrote the chapter to leave it ambiguous on who each was dating, but yes, Hermione and Neville are drifting together.   Overall, I agree that Harry and Hermione would be a good match, but not in this particular story.

The general assumption in the WW is that Harry is dating one or the other (or both) of those girls.   That's why Nancy (the secretary) acted as she did and why Harry was mildly amused by it all.

Glad you liked what I did with Ron and Snape.   I don't always go out of my way to bash Ron, but it always seems to end up that way.   Does that say something about me or him?

Thank you for liking my resolution with Tracey.   You're right on her feelings.   As well as the probable name of her eldest daughter.

The fight scene was short.   That was intentional.   It's because the fight itself was short.   And I did it from an "outside" PoV because I recognize my inability to write a convincing duel.   There are plenty out there, and I didn't want to bog my story down with yet another mediocre attempt.

Thanks for reading and for the nice review.

Soothingmadness posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 4:07pm for Epilogue

I am sad to say your ending feels like a cop out, of what could have continued into a greater story. I loved the first seven chapter but was wholly disappointed with the last three.

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 3:37pm for Epilogue

I wouldn't have minded having a few more nuggets of information to round out the picture. I suppose that may have been intentional. Congratulations on finishing your story, I have enjoyed reading it. I just revisited Scion of Gryphindore and I enjoyed that as well. Thanks for writing. W.

Crys replied:

Thank you.   Glad you enjoyed it.

greenansatsu posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 3:14pm for Epilogue

Just take what everyone else said and slap my agree stamp on it. While the ending works its missing out on what made the first chapters so great. This is like a skeleton when compared to the fat goose of a story that we had before. If this is truly the end I at least hope that when inspiration comes again you come back and fix these last few bits.

Jace1709 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 2:15pm for Epilogue

I'm afraid i have to agree with a lot of the other reviews. I love all of your fics that you wrote before this, and i was loving this 1 as well up until they went off to the battle... then u kill Daphne, have Tracey get out of the slavery (fair enough) but do it publicy and damage Harry's reputation apparantly, and only give back 'most' of his fortune (THAT i don't get, he saves her, at HER request, from being the Slytherin Sex Toy, and when she gets free decides to keep part of what his parents left him), then have Harry being alone, then all of a sudden he's Minister and there is absolutely no resolution to any of the relationship build up that you had through the ENTIRE story.

This really is a shame cos the fic was shaping up to be a favourite, i was eagerly awaiting seeing it updated on the front page every time i visited, but the last chapters ruined it.

Believe me, i really am sorry to say this, cos i dont like leaving bad reviews, and i really did love all your other work.


War posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 1:21pm for Epilogue

This ending just proves how much this story has SUCKED. Weak man realy WEAK a Hundred Drunken Monkeys on Acid could of done this story Better. This read like one of those Round Robin stories. Were the group of people do not talk to each other on how the plot of the story will go. And just type and post what ever they feel like. I stand by my ranking on this story of MAJOR EPIC FAILURE!

Crys replied:

That's what you said at the end of the last chapter.   Why'd you bother to read this one?

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 1:16pm for Epilogue



Clell65619 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:37pm for Epilogue

- Well... That was odd.

This ending was interesting, though I find myself wondering how they got from where 'One Week Later' ended and this one began...

bonnie posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:32pm for Epilogue

great fic I really liked though I wish Daphne hadn't had to die. The relationships that developed between Harry, Tracy and Daphne was very interesting. I would have liked to have seen what would have happened if everyone had survived. Although I liked how you used the situation to get Tracy out of the chattel marriage and left the possibility alive for a future relationship to develop. All in all a very well done job

David Maddern posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:30pm for Epilogue

Well...okay, I'm going to be completely honest.

Up until the last 3 chapters, it was turning out to be a good fic.

Then, out of nowhere, you pulled a Rowling-Class Deus Ex Machina, and then used what -now at least- looks like a glaringly WIDE loophole in this 'Chattel Bride' idea to free Tracy.

THEN, you made Harry 'Minister', and left it open to wonder which department he's minister off.

Honestly, it seems like you just got tired of the fic, and decided to half-*BLEEP* the last bits to get it over with.

So, score wise, the first 7 chaps - 8/10.

The last three...2/10. Not to be insulting, but even that's generous.

Just calling it like I see it.

Kathleen posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 12:29pm for Epilogue

But come on, this can't be the end!!!

Chuck Rooster posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:50am for Epilogue

Good story. I'm glad you chose not to take the smutty. It made it altogether a much better story!

00_Knight posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:50am for Epilogue

My previous review about being spoiled by other authors in the length of their post, and being and exciting read still stands. You've started out with that, and ended with three short chapters that explain a little if nothing at all. It didn't take me 6 seconds to read through this post!

I don't like to leave bad reviews, ever! Couldn't you do what any other great fanfic author has done when they're just too busy to post, or they've got other real life reasons that take their time and imagination away from a great story, and just not post at all? Instead of doing something amateur like posting deflated chapters that don't really have any flavor at all?

Stringing together the last 3 chapters together is something that could have been done in one post, and would have saved yourself the nonexistent effort to post them separate!

Next time, if you lose interest in your story, abandon it, or don't post on it till you get an idea to take it. Don't just murder it! You'll lose a lot of readers that way.

Either way, you've "officially" taken a story that had promise, and killed it slowly, even though it only takes about 30 minutes to read the last 3 chapters, total(including internet lag)

Final opinion on this story is, Epic Fail!

Tora58 posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:23am for Epilogue

Okay, that was almost unnecessary...

If you didnt want to finish the story properly you should have just killed it.

Those last 3 chapters were no where near up to the quality of the others.

Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:19am for Epilogue

I don't know what to say except right now at this moment, at this time, I really really really Hate you!!! How can you do that to me uhmm I mean us!! LOL

Crys replied:

You hate me?   Ouch.

Hey, if you're referring to the teasing between the three, then you can go with the theory that Harry's actually dating both of them.

whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:16am for Epilogue

Understated, but excellent. You sure do like torturing your readers a bit, though, don't you? These last couple of updates were departures from the story's normal narrative, and I have to admit that I'm not a huge fan of that particular detail.

That being said, I still enjoyed both the epilogue and the overall story immensely. I'm very curious to see what your next project will be.

Crys replied:

Thank you.   Glad you enjoyed it.

Luke posted a comment on Friday 23rd October 2009 11:03am for Epilogue

Sorry, but the last 3 chapters let me think that you got very desinterested in the story and just wanted to cut it short.

It's clearly your right to do so, but its sad anyway, since it started so well.