insertparagraph posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 9:31am for Snape's Detention

This has been interesting. I'm a bit confused by Snape's choices -- I would think he would have simply used Imperio to start with. I can see a handful of potential reasons why he wouldn't:
- knowing that Tracey can throw off Imperio (off-screen 4th year)
- Imperio would show up under Prior Incantatem *if he was ever caught*
- underestimating Tracey's ability/willingness to resist *and Harry's response if he was ever caught*
but only the 3rd works without explanation, and that one requires a level of stupidity closer to what Ron's displaying than what is characteristic of Snape.

Bob Officer posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 9:24am for Snape's Detention

Excellent.

and It came right about on time.

Spane and his influence over Dumbledore is an interesting twist. Most stories do not play upon Snape's ability to twist the headmaster around his finger.

Patrick posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 8:35am for Snape's Detention

The question is does Dumbldore realizes that his faith and trust in Snape may cost him the trust of everyone else’s. He has already lost Harry’s trust. One more incident like this one with Snape and the order my remove him as leader unless he comes fully clean on why he trusts Snape. Protecting Snape my cost him everyone he is trying to save or redeem.

Peter Clark posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 8:28am for Snape's Detention

Wonderful chapter, as ever. I would suggest that something horrible should happen to Snape - maybe for continuing bullying but without the protection of being a Professor?

Quackpotty posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 8:28am for Snape's Detention

Wow, if Flitwick ever writes that book, I wonder if it'll be sold outside of a flight of fancy. It'd be nice if such a book became more than an impossible myth. Anyhoo, nice chapter, if a little depressing in content. I'd have thought that Tracey would have received a little trouble for where she nailed Snape in a bigoted society like that. Personally, I'm all "Power To You, Tracey!" but I would have thought Snape would have demanded restitution or whatever of Harry's 'property'. Ugh, it is frustrating trying to think that Daphne and Tracey are supposedly less than human here and what would have happened as a result of it.

Crys replied:

Yeah, it's frustrating to me, too.   Keep having to look at all situations multiple times, not only as humans reacting, but also as students and then as no-rights objects.

Your point of "Snape can demand restitution" completely slipped by me, for instance.   Too late to fix it now, so I'm going to go with "Snape can, but doing so he'd have to admit to attempting to rape her".

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

howard kammerer posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 8:27am for Snape's Detention

I sincerely hope that Snape will find himself extremely painfully dead before the end of this story, hopefully at the end of Harry's wand!

Excellent chapter, and I'm glad to see that Minerva, for a change, actually took Harry seriously.

red

farendar posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 8:04am for Snape's Detention

Although this review wont amount to much more than a few short lines of praise I still wanted to add my thanks for writing this interesting story and my congratulations on a tasteful and logical use of a rape subplot, much better done than most of the tripe seen in fanfiction when authors use that theme.

William Lack posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 8:00am for Snape's Detention

Rereading again I can understand Daphne being protective of Harry re Tonks, but why should Tracey. Daphne wants Harry for Harry, Tracey isn't interested so why 'growl' at Tonks to protect her master... ? Will Harry realise that both girls now want him or will remain as unperceptive as ever. Are they going to try to be the arbitares of who he can and cannot have, which will protect them against a potentially jealous primary wife who sees Daphne and Tracey as a threat ...?
Also why is Hermione cross? she was the one who dumped this on his lap, is jealousy he issue?

Crys replied:

Tracey is much more quiet about it, but it's possible she's slowly falling for Harry.

Harry is well aware of Daphne's interest.   Tracey?   That one's not so clear.   To him or her.

Hermione is angry and just taking it out on Harry.   Her boyfriend just publicly made an innappropriate advance on another woman.   She's screaming-angry and then she sees what she thought was Daphne flaunting the sexual relationship she supposedly has with Harry.   She's angry.   Not at him so much as just lashing out at the first convenient target (Harry and his taking advantage of his chattel).

LifeScientist posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 7:30am for Snape's Detention

A nice job as usual. I do think that you are continuing to overplay Harry's objections to pureblood traditions as you paint them. At some point he needs to learn if not to avoid the reaction at least to suppress it. Neville addresses this a little bit in this chapter but I would argue that it isn't handled enough and is becoming something of a drag on your story.
Still, great character development and interesting plot propulsion. I am looking forward to more chapters of this soon.
Matt

Stonewar posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 6:49am for Snape's Detention

i am bothered by one the major plot issues of a master sharing the sexual favors of his chattel... it doesn't seem right. Historically one the purposes for marriage was to restrict reproductive access and guarantee paternity of any issue from a woman, but if a master of chatter shares those favors? what is the point of dressing up this type of slavery as a type of marriage?

Crys replied:

Harry keeps thinking of it and calling it a marriage, as that's much less demeaning to him and the girls.   Legally speaking, though, it's slavery with a slightly more polite title.

It isn't logical (for the reasons you pointed out among others), but nobody said the world (and especially the wizarding world) had to make sense.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 6:41am for Snape's Detention

Satisfying end to Snape to a point. The point being that this isn't the end of him at all.

Hurt him a lot, please.

Great fic.

Gardengirl posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 6:40am for Snape's Detention

I also wanted to mention how well I thought you did the "Neville talks Pureblood" part. We know that Neville and Ron/Ginny are purebloods, but since they're not nasty racists like Malfoy, we don't think about it as much. You did a great job of letting Neville teach Harry the not-evil-but-still-different parts of culture. Well done!

Crys replied:

Thank you.

I've always liked Neville, and I try to use him in my stories.

Thanks for reading.

Wonderbee31 posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 6:37am for Snape's Detention

Well, Snape sure is turning out to be a right piece of filth in this chapter, and what should surprise me, but doesn't, is that Albus is so sure that he's right and he alone at that, while no one else can compare to his brilliance for the Greater Good.

Still, a few holes that stand out to me, is that if Tracey is chattel and not a person, why could Snape give her detention? That and isn't there some pureblood law Harry could invoke since Snape attempted to apparently damage his property, thus reducing it's value? I also wish Harry would stat to grow up more, as this seeming to refuse to learn about the right procedures makes him seem more and more like canon Harry, who only had like a half dozen spells and a huge deus ex machina to win the war, and then was still idiotic enough to name his child after two of his tormentors. Maybe if he had another girl after Albus, he could have named her Petunia Delores Potter, just because Umbridge and Petunia were just misunderstood, LOL.

Felt irritated at Hermione, who went out of her way to set Harry up for this dillemma, and then gets angry at him when his wives act like they want him, so maybe she needs to make up her mind, and pull her head out with a pop. Glad to see Neville helping out more, and looks like Ron needs a good, "boot to the head." Looking forward to the next part, and be seeing you.

Jonathan Langford posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 6:16am for Snape's Detention

I would think there would be extra-legal things that Harry could do, as what Snape attempted was unpermitted sexual congress with Harry's concubine. By wizarding law, that should be a mortal insult to Harry, warranting the possibility of (say) a dueling challenge, even if the ladies are only viewed as Harry's property rather than his wives.

Crys replied:

Yes, now that Snape is no longer a teacher, there are other avenues available to Harry.   Problem is that Snape is an accomplished dueller and would cheerfully cheat just for a chance to maim Harry, legally or not.

Clell65619 posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 5:28am for Snape's Detention

- Very nice. You've come up with a more despicable than normal wizarding world, while simultaneously explaining if not justifying that position.

- Your version of Neville is great. I've tried to cast Neville in the role of 'Explainer of all things culturally significant' in my stories, but never as affectively as you have here. Well done.

- I find your portrayal of Tracey to be significantly more interesting than any other character in the piece...

- Looking forward to the next chapter.

Crys replied:

Glad you're enjoying Neville.   I've always found Nev to be one of the characters in the series with the most potential.   Fil and McG, too, which is why I tend to use the a lot.

I'm also glad you like Tracey.   Been trying to give her a unique personality, separate from Daphne.

Thanks for reading.

James Barber posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 5:17am for Snape's Detention

And I would be one of the first one's in line to read said book by Fil on the ways of the female pyhscy! Great update, but what happen to luna's interview, would like to see that article too, ought to be good...also how come he and hermione havent hooked up yet, all the signs point to it, and besides getting a boyfriend/husband she will also get two sisters too! and all three of them are besides drop dead gorgeous they are also highly intelligent!

Crys replied:

If Fil did write that, I'd definitely read it, too.

Quibbler interview: It won't be mentioned again, I'm afraid.   Just an interview where Harry explains why he did what he did.   It's to calm the populace down, some.   In the following chapters, you'll see that the general opinion of him is definitely calmed down.

Thanks for reviewing.

DJ posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 5:10am for Snape's Detention

Harry should nut Snape just for the record. It was a hard chapter but you did it well. What were Nev & Hermione up to? I look forward to the rest of the fic thanks for writting.

BlackNight posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 5:09am for Snape's Detention

I cringed many times reading this chapter.

Firstly, the whole Ron bashing is annoying and makes no sense. Okay, let's assume that the Wizarding society is patriarchal (which it's not) and cultivates that kind of attitudes about women (which makes no sense). I don't think that there has ever been sexual inequality in the Wizarding world, because witches have equal magical power. Also, as they have magic, they must have had the sexual revolution centuries ago.

And even if the Wizarding world somehow was like that, Ron certainly wouldn't be. His family obviously doesn't share those sentiments and so he couldn't have learned them at home. Once he came to Hogwarts, majority of his friends were half-blood or muggleborn, who find such opinions disgusting. It's just not very likely that he would develop that kind of attitudes. Besides, Ron is not nearly as moronic as you portray him. Even if he honestly thought the girls as nothing more than luxurious toys, he knows better than to voice that opinion to Harry.

What annoys me most is that even Daphne and Tracy who are actually part of that pureblood society think more progressively than Ron, and are somehow much more knowledgeable about muggles and half-bloods.

It's also frustrating to see how Severus' IQ suddenly drops fifty points. The man is a total bastard, but I don't see him raping his students... At least he would never admit trying to do so. Besides, what he did was indecent but doesn't qualify as attempted rape. What Tracey did, however, is assault (even if it's excusable due the situation).

While I could continue this rant for at least a thousand words more, I think I will refrain.

Rick D Gale posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 5:02am for Snape's Detention

I think Dobby of some of the other House-elves should help Harry take care of his 'Snape' problem.

Just make sure Harry and his friends are in the presents of Dumbledore, the other HOH's and as many other high ranking persons from the ministy as possible before he gets his testicles spiked to his desk.

Of course the other option is to have Harry wipe him out in a dual - after Flitwick has him (Harry) trained up a bit.

I look forward to your next chapter.

rdgale

jim5 posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 4:58am for Snape's Detention

I have never been much of a reviewer in the past and have enjoyed this story as an interesting twist on the Harry/Multi issue, but I have to add my opinion on this last chapter.

Since you have stressed the "Pure-Blood" culture and society issues that Daphne, Tracy, and Neville have been trying to educate Harry on I think you might have missed something. The attack on Tracy, while she is not considered 'human' anymore is considered property.

By Snape actions he has attempted to destroy or deface property belonging to another House with malicious intent. This should be considered an insult inside this culture and allow Harry some recomprise to seek legal action through the courts for reimbursement.

This in turn can turn into quite the mess for Dumbledore and Snape. With Snape in court and the use of the truth serum could bring out the truth about his actions towards Harry and his treatment of the other houses, which in turn would bring questions about Dumbledore's fitness to run the school and so on. This could be used to polarize the sides better.

Crys replied:

Interesting thought.

You're right, he could go in that direction.

The reason he won't is threefold:
- Sueing Snape for "damaging property" is demeaning to Tracey.
- Dumbledore and the girls would warn Harry about the possible endgame (havoc in the school and for Dumbledore).
- Harry respects and trusts Dumbledore to do the right thing (foolish as that expectation may be) too much to intentionally cause Dumbledore harm.   Trying to pry the man off of his back is different than going out of his way to cause the old man political/social difficulties.

Thanks for reviewing.