Chattel
Snape's Detention
By Crys
Reviews
Disstance posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 3:59am for Snape's Detention
I really dug the premise but overall, to me, it feels like you're just using this fic to throw out as much contrived angst as you can. You keep reusing the same scenes over and over as well; Ron wanting Daphne and Tracey for sex, Harry and Hermione get mad at him. Malfoy wants Daphne and Tracey for sex, Harry gets mad at him, over and over.
Also, the biggest problem I have is that it really seems like every character *enjoys* being upset all the time. Harry is ether uncomfortable or angry the entire fic, Hermione is upset or angry the entire fic, it feels like no one wants to be happy at all. Instead of trying to make the best of a bad situation everyone just seems to act stupid and upset themselves over everything. None of your characters take any enjoyment out of life at all, except, I guess Daphne in teasing Harry, yet Harry does everything he can to upset her about it by getting mad.
mathmans posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 3:58am for Snape's Detention
I wish she would have spiked his balls to the desk as well.
Great story. Keep up the good work.
gadriam posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 3:52am for Snape's Detention
Lovely chapter. Harry appears to get more accustomed to his lordship, and i can see all sorts of troubles on the horizon. Will you have Dumbledore checked for imperius? You've certainly built the base for it. When the grapevine starts mentioning memory charms, there should be quite a few girls checking themselves for such things, and one of the usual suspects does indeed have a line to the DMLE. Just a thread to consider...
Anyway, awesome as usual.
Thanks!
g
Yunaine posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 3:15am for Snape's Detention
Nice work on the chapters so far. I've enjoyed the story, just getting that out of the way since I tend to reply only when I get frustrated :o
Hermione comes over as an illogical frustrated girl, but this is probably the intention. She's the one that got Harry into that situation in the first place so then being mad at him for what happens (or doesn't happen) behind closed doors is foolish.
She already knows that Harry is protecting both of them the entire time and treating them as people, so then assuming that he's doing whatever he wants is, again, foolish.
That said, I guess when the heart is concerned the brain shuts down.
While Snape's set-up was nice, the reasoning behind it has a giant flaw.
Snape himself said that Tracey was chattel / slave and had no rights. Dumbledore said the exact same thing to point out that Harry could not prosecute Snape for rape.
If all that is true... then Snape had no right to give Tracey detention in the first place since she is a slave.
Of course, Snape could assign detention to a student... but Tracey is not a student as was pointed out by Snape and Dumbledore.
Either she has no rights as chattel and Harry is responsible (hence him getting the detention instead for not keeping his property in line) or she has rights because of her temporary student-status (which Harry got them due to keeping them in school) and all official school-personal have to treat her like that. You can't go both ways since its illogical.
That out of the way and as blunt as possible: Harry is an idiot.
He doesn't know the ways to duel, he doesn't know how to treat his chattel, he doesn't know the ways of family (apologies and all that), he doesn't know a lot of things... and he seems content to leave it that way, thus making an idiot out of himself and his chattel.
The same for him leaving Tracey in the hands of Snape. He knows that she is his responsibility and Snape is an arse, so he's a complete 'dunderhead' for even allowing Tracey to go there unsupervised.
And as last point, the same yet again for Snape still being in the castle. Anyone that was nearly raped would refuse to be in the vicinity (or same house / "castle") as their attacker. Even worse, Harry knows that Dumbledore trusts Snape... so exactly why would Dumbledore bother to truly lock Snape away instead of trusting Snape to merely stay behind closed doors?
All that makes me thing Harry is the biggest idiot alive...
Crys replied:
You're right. The dichotomy of Tracey's multiple status's depending on the situation is illogical. The problem is that I can't go all the way one direction or another, else the story would lose a lot of interest.
If I go completely "she's a slave", then she cannot leave Harry's apartments without him. That loses a lot of flexibility in her and Daphne's schedules (for dueling lessons and other lessons they have that Harry doesn't).
I'm sorry that there is this problem, but I can't get rid of it without destroying the fic.
As for Harry's actions, yes, he is somewhat of a fool. I can give many excuses (he's trying to let them retain as much independence as possible, for instance), but it all boils down to "it's in his canon nature". He's far too trusting for his, and his girls', own good.
I'm sorry these logical inconsistencies are bothering you. If you choose to continue reading, I hope you enjoy it.
luckykas posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 3:10am for Snape's Detention
I am quite surprised that Harry didn't challenge Snape to duel. Of course at this point he is not capable enough to beat him. But Gryffindors throughout the canon have acted without forethought. Furthermore why didn't he start the smear campaign against Snape at the very least? His wives are slytherin enough for convincing him. He can be petty too. Why does everyone accept Dumbledore's word as gospel especially when he cant justify Snape's actions. I sincerely doubt Harry in your fic would allow any of his newfound family to be molested without any repercussions.
William Lack posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 2:36am for Snape's Detention
Not sure I can wait another 14 days for the next installment - this a nice story - the pureblood attitudes to the girls is interesting - with some like Neville and Gimmy dipping to it and out of with ease- knowing Harry doesn't fully understand .... will Hermione breaking up with (mo)Ron and spending more time with Harry and the girls lead to her becoming the alpha in his merry band ?
Nick5 posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 2:29am for Snape's Detention
You know, Snape's actions are getting old. Really old. I think it's time for him to have an 'unfortunate accident' of some type.
mwinter posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 2:28am for Snape's Detention
NO offense but Harry should have made more demands by threatening to leave and transfer.
BJH posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 2:13am for Snape's Detention
A nicely done chapter. Hermione's reactions were nicely done and Tracey's "education" of her even better.
Interesting turn with Snape. I wonder how long it will take folks to piece together that, since Snivelus felt safe in raping Tracey since Harry had presumably already 'dispoiled' her and then raping her in detention, he has also done it to other girls? How many rapes has he committed within the halls of Hogwarts? And how will Dumbledore manage to continue to protect him after that?
BJH
Nightmask posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 2:06am for Snape's Detention
I'm usually a very acerbic reviewer, but for once I have nothing particularly biting to say. I'm throughly enjoying your writing, and I can only hope that dear old Severus finally gets what's coming to him soon.
You might even want to throw his lust for Lily as a jab at him - given his nature, I'd be surprised if any relationship he could've had with her did not end up abusive and possessive.
Kudos.
Lord of Bones' rating: 8.5/10
Crys replied:
Considering his personality, I can't see how any relationship of his wouldn't be abusive and possessive, be it with a woman, man, or cross-dressing skrewt.
Lee Dickie posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 2:05am for Snape's Detention
Another great update, thanks.
Ben Russell-Gough posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 1:18am for Snape's Detention
Dumbledore sighed. "I trust Severus," he answered, ignoring the question.
Harry nodded. "I know. And I hope it means something to you that you're the only one who does."
Unfortunately, all it will do is confirm in Dumbledore's mind that he is so much smarter and wiser than everyone else as he is the only one who can understand what a wonderful, misunderstood warrior for the Light "Severus" is. There comes a point when arrogance and conceit create utter blindness of judgement. It is something that I feel will cost Dumbldore dearly before the end.
A very difficult subject and story segment nicely handled. I think that you caught the essential petulant childishness of the characvter of Severus Snape very well. What I've really liked about this story so far is how Harry and Hermione have had to come to terms with how incredibly medieval the wizarding world, even their friends can be. I wonder if they will see themselves having a future there any more.
I find myself wondering if Tracey and Daphne are lining Hermione up for a future role in Harry's family. ;) They seemed very pleased to have him comfort her.
BenRG's Rating: 8.5/10
Gergely Medzihradszky posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 12:57am for Snape's Detention
It is an interesting idea/story, but somehow I am having problems with Harry trying to adapt to the customs, and not trying to change them. I am interested how he will resolve the problems, for example if they get married in the muggle world, what would the status of the wives would be in the wizarding world?
scwhitehouse posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 12:00am for Snape's Detention
Great story. Hopefully Snape will get what he deserves soon - now he is no longer a teacher, I guess Harry can duel him. I'm looking forward to reading the Quibbler interview and seeing how the Light pure-bloods react.
Gardengirl posted a comment on Thursday 27th August 2009 11:27pm for Snape's Detention
Ewww. Great job writing something despicable! I trust that Harry will settle up with him for real here soon, though?
Jason Karr posted a comment on Friday 28th August 2009 4:36am for Snape's Detention