Chattel
The Duel
By Crys
Reviews
Harold Clark posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 4:21am for The Duel
Good start!Interesting plot line and room for much development. You do a good job in character development.
nfk posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 3:53am for The Duel
Great start to the story. I liked that you captured a wide range of characters and responses to the situation that Harry, once again, seems to have been thrust in, all because of his silly people-saving thing. ^_^
Can't wait to see what happens next. If the first chapter is any indication for what is to come, it's going to be a fun ride.
Nick5 posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 3:38am for The Duel
Nice, especially liked how Albus was taken (partially) to task and Draco got called out. Severus getting killed would have been nicer but, sadly, the Prophet Jagger was right - you can't always get what you want.
rune1806 posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 3:35am for The Duel
Thanks for doing more with one of his stories, the only problem he has is he almost never finishes a story. I like the story line and look forward to more.
happyreader posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 1:54am for The Duel
Chapter 2 should be neat,, will the plot explore
DD's strange behavior ... tune in,,,
bye........ 1happyreader
Panaka posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 11:42pm for The Duel
Cool start.
Harry could give another interview. Even if nobody believes him, it will get his version of the story out there.
prateek91 posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 10:51pm for The Duel
I liked it a lot cuz its different from all the 'being betrayed-hidden inheritance-loads of wives-superpowered harry' kinda stories u find evrywhere.Keep up da good work n update sooon.
Patches posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 9:59pm for The Duel
This is a really good story. I would like to see some more of this story continued. Harry of course had to do his saving people thing even though it means he is going to marry two girls and instead of being wives they will be classed as concubines. That is really sad that they will not be given the status of wives and their children cannot be primary heirs. I would like to see how this story plays out. Thanks for writing and please consider continuing. pms
Crys replied:
Definitely intend on continuing it.
Glad you're enjoying it.
whatareyouevensaying posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 8:16pm for The Duel
Brilliant start to the story, it's nice to see a well-thought-out story like this...with possible Harry/Multi fun.
The only thing that bothered me was how many people took to calling Tracey and Daphne "Harry's ladies" or "his new ladies". Seemed really awkward just about every time it was used.
Looking forward to more.
Aquilara posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 7:59pm for The Duel
Hey!
I really like your idea. It is something new for a change. I would love to see where you're going with this, because you raise some very interesting and complicated issues.
x
Aquilara
Brian Donnely posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 7:19pm for The Duel
"And may I ask why you drug me in here?" - Shouldn't this be 'dragged'?
K that's my one thing to point out. I'm always up for a good story involving Harry with some obscure girls, so I'll be along the ride. Oh, and I appreciated how accurately you got the details of concubinage. Nice nice.
brad posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 6:56pm for The Duel
So this is a multi-chapter story? Great, thanks!
Being a H/Hr man I appreciate the depth of the friendship you've shown between Harry and Hermione ... and I admit I wouldn't mind seeing something more between them. But hey, two's company, three's a crowd, so three girls might be one too many for Harry. And best buds is good too.
Still, I applaud Hermione's recognition of Ron's shortcomings at the very least; I'm glad you won't be subjecting us to an unbelievable R/Hr coupling.
Given how quickly Harry's two chattel-to-be asked to be included in the fighting lessons I'm surprised that Hermione didn't put up her hand as well. Since she doesn't seem to know what Harry's doing in his lessons it seems she's not already taking them with her best friend, so once the other girls got added ... I would have thought the lass who did every subject there was in third year might have wanted in?
Who is the Head Boy, by the way?
Enjoyed very much the snarking at canon's H/G at the end there - good show!
A bit on the outlandish side - the girls as chattel, Harry being the only lad who can be depended on to defeat Malfoy (maybe you could have spent a sentence or two mentioning Malfoy's having learnt duelling (and the dark arts) from an early age, or his duelling over the summers in pureblood contests, something like that ... but that would have invalidated his shameful showing against Harry, though), easily available accommodation for 'married students' (no high schools like that in my day!) and so forth, but good fun nonetheless. And of course a story featuring a noble!Harry has a powerful draw to it for just that factor. Looking forward to more, thank you!
Crys replied:
Yep, going to be multi-chaptered.
Harry's getting more focused instruction from Flitwick. The D.A. is still going strong, though, so it isn't like Hermione isn't getting any extra instruction.
Head Boy? Terry Boot, but it doesn't factor into the story.
Hogwarts isn't like any modern high school. It's a boarding school built a thousand years ago. Then, it was much more common for mid-teens to have arranged marriages. That's why Hogwarts has married student housing.
Glad you're enjoying it.
DrgnMstr posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 6:03pm for The Duel
I like so far. Keep it up!
Sterling posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:38pm for The Duel
Your a good writer and I enjoy your stories. However, I think you are pushing your marriage contract premise to far by involving two girls.
It makes the plot seem less like an interesting take on wizarding culture and more of an adolescent fantasy. Still, given the general high quality of your writing I am sure I will find this story entertaining. Thanks.
Crys replied:
It's not going to devolve into a multi, smut fic. There are entirely too many of those already.
I'm trying to look at this from the girls' PoV some and a bit of what kind of society could produce this situation in the first place.
Thank you for having the patience to stick with it, even though it started like it could be a juvenile fantasy story.
kb0 posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:35pm for The Duel
That's an interesting start. It is a start and there will be more, right? IF not, that's a horrible way to end it. :)
Crys replied:
Yes, there will be more. Even *I* am not that evil :)
heathw posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:16pm for The Duel
A fun start. It's great to see you writing again!
Chris1 posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:12pm for The Duel
Reading this, I was half-dreading the appearance of the overused Mo!Ron. :D Glad to see you kept away from it.
Looking forward to the next chapter :) Are you planning on weekely updates? Or more often ones (pleasesayyes!!) ?
Chris
Crys replied:
Weekly or bi-weekly, yes.
Glad you're enjoying it.
impatientuser posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 5:07pm for The Duel
Must have more. I know I must have read some own your spouse kind of stories in the past, but this seems new and extremely good.
Nice dig at HP/GW catastrophe =)
Crys replied:
More chapters coming.
As for the HP/GW from JKR . . . I just couldn't resist Harry's line.
thumper posted a comment on Friday 3rd July 2009 4:36pm for The Duel
Wow Im happy to see this fleshed out into a story
readyornot posted a comment on Saturday 4th July 2009 7:19am for The Duel