Tanaxanth posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 8:55am for One Week Later

All right..

I enjoyed this story right until here... the ending feels very rushed and flat..
Was this what you intended or did it just get rushed?

Bobboky posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 8:35am for One Week Later

excellent work

Sonicdale posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 7:14am for One Week Later

hm.
Nice.
Possible sequel, closes off a few things, Leaves a few things open.
Been watching NCIS much?
:)

Crys replied:

No sequel, but one more chapter to go.

Yes, Dale, actually I have been watching NCIS.   That bunny hasn't died, but no promises on whether it gets written.

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 5:18am for One Week Later

I can't help but think that she will be considered damaged goods in the eyes of most suiters. I don't know if that will be a bad thing, but I foresee it. On the face it is a pretty rotten thing to do and the public will never know that he consented to it.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)

Crys replied:

In the short term, perhaps.   However, it'll become clear in the next chapter that they're still on good terms.   That would definitely help her social standing.

Hawklan posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:23pm for One Week Later

sadly that looks a little bit rushed and is a bit unsatisfing to an otherwise good story

marcelhm posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 9:51pm for One Week Later

well I can't say the ending is too satisfying but I'm a sucker for the happily ever after with a nice quirk. but you sure made it nice and surprising so creds for that and the entire enjoyable story for that matter

Dupapier posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:50pm for One Week Later

Hello,

I really liked your story and I had a great time reading it.
The ending is a nice choice even if I didn't expect that and I'm a bit disapointed (I like happy endings :p).

Anyway thanks for your story.

lenny posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 6:07pm for One Week Later

noooo ...not goodbyeee..please no =)

William Martin posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 4:36pm for One Week Later

Thanks again for this fascinating story.
Though I would have liked to have read about the trial.
Keep on keepin on!

Rick D Gale posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 3:27pm for One Week Later

AHHHH!

You do know how to torment the readers don't you? I guess that's one of the reasons why we keep coming back for more.

Thank you for another excellent story.

rdgale

Stygius posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 12:01pm for One Week Later

Ooo, i surprising like that more then any of the alternatives... well done... i would be fitting for harry to put this all behind him and find another calling for his life.... looking forward to where you take it from here.

Time Shifter posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:41am for One Week Later

Wait, what?! Wow, what an ending. I was not expecting it at all, and while you definitely get points for an unexpected ending, I can't say I enjoyed it at all. Sorry.

pfeil posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:28am for One Week Later

Uh, wha?

Is this complete now, then?

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 11:27am for One Week Later

This CAN'T be over. I need a happy-to-some-degree ending.

Great story.

Crys replied:

Not over.   Epilogue coming.

Oh, and you didn't feel that a dead Voldy, him surviving, and her being free was "happy-to-some-degree"? :)

Kalen Darkmoon posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 10:30am for One Week Later

While the rest of the story was interesting, the ending is very poor. It was abrupt, incomplete and creates instant plot holes.

Point 1) In the story you've shown that the "chattel" were fearful of Harry dying because then they would become someone else's property, so both maintained that if he died, then so would they. They were terrified that anyone else owning them would abuse them.

Point 2) You've shown quite clearly that the "chattel" had absolutely NO legal rights whatsoever and anything they would have to say in any court would be considered worthless. They are subhuman and no longer have ANY legal rights.

So how is it now that Harry's brief "death" (though not really dead at all, just in need of CPR) suddenly restored all of her legal rights that she could suddenly sue Harry for her freedom? How is that?

There is no explanation and it's completely in contradiction of several of the previous chapters regarding the facts you set forth for their predicament. That their enslavement was for LIFE regardless if Harry lived or died (they'd just change owners) and their "rights" were gone because of that enslavement and there was absolutely nothing anybody could do.

Crys replied:

Back in the first chapter, it's stated that his death would free them.   Somewhat illogical perhaps, but this is a story that uses Latin words and wooden sticks to produce magic.

They weren't afraid of him dying because they'd go to another owner.   They were worried for his own sake.   He's a good guy, after all.   And more importantly, they also know that he's the only one able to kill Voldy.

kb0 posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 9:05am for One Week Later

Hmm, well, you gave us some interesting info, but this doesn't quite look like the end, and your story page still shows this as a WIP. So I guess we get an epilogue that shows a "couple of years later"?

Kevin

Patches posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 8:47am for One Week Later

This is quite a surprise ending. I am sorry that Daphne had to die. That was sad. It is surprising that Tracy fought for her freedom so hard. It was a nice surprise that she gave Harry back most of his inheritance. That was a good deal for Harry and Tracy to make. She needed to be able to say no and he needed to know how people really think about him. Sense there is no "The End" at the end of this chapter I'm hoping there is some kind of epilogue coming. Thanks for writing. The was a really unusual story. I really have enjoyed it. I look forward to more stories from you. pms

jakjakattk posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 8:14am for One Week Later

wow, so where is Hermione to pick up the pieces. oh, well. somebody had to take Harry to the bank, so to speak. sad that this might be the last chapter and that Daphne had to die and he never had a change to find love with either of them. Again, such is life right?

Thanks for the story. I hope that you have something again soon.

TheHard posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:59am for One Week Later

Errr... wha'? what was that? is the conclusion? daphne, the one that was really intersted, just died? booooooring... :D

Well, kind of a conclusion, but I'm really wondering if there is more to come :)

Crys replied:

Yep, one more chapter.

wolfwood posted a comment on Saturday 17th October 2009 7:48am for One Week Later

good story, but I don't like the ending. Short, vague, and very anti-climactic.