FrozenWave posted a comment on Tuesday 5th November 2019 10:51am for One Week Later

Now I remeber why I hadn't read this story again years ago. This disgustingly depressing ending. What. The. Fuck! The 'epilogue', if you can even call it that, was boring and unsatisfying after the bombshell at the end of chapter 9. Up to the point where Harry 'died' and Daphne sacrificed herself, this story was great. The right amount of humour, seriousness, and darker themes, all thrown together in a balanced way, but then you ruin everything you've built towards, completely scrap the point of the story (the whole chattel situation), and kill off one of three main characters (who conveniently was the one who would've grown to love Harry down the line).

Had you simply kept the Harry temporarily dying so you could have both girls released from being chattel, with Tracey then moving on, but Daphne staying and building an eventual, actual, relationship, I would've given you a full 5 stars rating if I could. Instead you went too far into the dark and to me that completely spoiled any 'happy' ending, sort of like a bad aftertaste.

ibskib posted a comment on Sunday 8th April 2018 9:19pm for One Week Later

A downer to see that Daphne didn't live, I liked her better than Tracey, and the whole jumping in front of a spell was a bit too cliched. I'm disappointed that Harry didn't end up with anyone, makes him feel too much like some kind of asexual hero trope rather than a real person. Especially with that whole BS about the girls not being able to say yes, because they couldn't say no, it was just stupid.

After all there was no magic enforcing it, so they could in fact say no if they wanted to. Daphne was very obviously willing enough and could have made a good girlfriend if Harry hadn't been struck with author induced stupidity.

Himanshu.99 posted a comment on Sunday 3rd January 2016 12:04pm for One Week Later

I feel really sorry for the way Daphne died. She shouldn't have died but it is your story not mine and I enjoyed it.

gtgrouch posted a comment on Wednesday 30th July 2014 5:25pm for One Week Later

Oh, now -that- is sad.

reader1writer1 posted a comment on Monday 6th June 2011 12:46pm for One Week Later

Awww. and somehow, I didn't realize that Daphne had died. :(

huskerfan posted a comment on Tuesday 27th October 2009 2:58pm for One Week Later

I must say that Im very disappointed with this chapter, especially since Daphne died. It seems like Harry got a pretty raw deal at the end, I understand Tracey doing whatever it takes to get her freedom but deal or no deal it still seems pretty bad for Harry at the end. That said the chapter was still well written and I greatly enjoyed the story leading up to this.

brad posted a comment on Wednesday 21st October 2009 10:25am for One Week Later

I can't believe how stupid I can be, sometimes.

I wrote this in my earlier review:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I appreciate how Dobby could pop into Malfoy manor and poison Riddle ... but, if they knew where Voldemort was staying, why did they wait until he moved to the Dolohov estate? That seemed to be a cusp of your story - Moody's discovering that intelligence, everyone moving into high gear and planning the assault - which doesn't seem that important, retrospectively, if they/Harry knew where Riddle was all the time anyway.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

But I was an idiot, can I retract the question?

It only just occurred to me why the timing of the battle was as it was ... because Dobby DIDN'T have access to the Dolohov estate, and the plan to poison Voldemort was already in play, Harry was forced to schedule the final battle to take place sometime in a small window of opportunity/time when the absence of the poison would take effect. That's why he had to refer to the textbook in 'Raid and Ron'. His hand was forced by Voldemort's relocation, he had no choice but to launch the attack for when he did.

D'uh. Sorry for the stupidity. Maybe you could have elaborated on the logistics of the thing with an extra sentence or two in the conversation that Tracey overheard? Or maybe I'm the only dunce in your readership. Anyway, I get it now. :-)

The 'one week later' timestamp seems to be too short for everything that transpired, although Harry's courtroom appearance in OotP happened fairly fast, didn't it? Still, one would think that Tracey would have to go to considerable effort (and expend significant time) in setting up her law suit, particularly if she had to overcome the appearance (even if negated by Harry's death?) of being Potter property with no rights.

Crys replied:

Exactly right on the timing.   You're the only one to comment on it, so either they all think I'm a total idiot and don't mention it, or everyone got it.   Personally, I thought it was a kinda subtle point, so I'm going with the thought that you're a genius :)

Yes, the lawsuit was quick, but not unreasonable.   As you said, court cases can be quick to set up.   Additionally, Harry did not fight the case and so it wasn't a long, drawn out legal battle.

Thanks for reading.

Stick97 posted a comment on Tuesday 20th October 2009 8:43am for One Week Later

Hmmm...

I wonder. Do you read comics? Because almost no one stays dead in comics. I could see a little intrigue going on allowing some characters to show back up, no longer as chattel.

Great story, but I do admit the last two chapters seemed rushed. Hope you didn't let all of the bashers bother you.

Setty posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 11:11pm for One Week Later

*sighs* The story was nice. You just had to rush the ending the ruin it.
After the first few chapters I was actually waiting for more updates, now I'm disappointed. :(

Jack Butler posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 11:07pm for One Week Later

That was vaguely unsatisfying for some reason. I can't put my finger on it, though, but it was.

Rob8 posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 10:47pm for One Week Later

Interesting twist, and well done, however like some of the other reviewers this and the previous chapter do see a tad rushed... the lead up to this point was great, and one of the better reads for a long time.
Would have been nice to have seen the court case played out a bit, as well as the funeral for Daphne...
but all in all the ending (if this is the end) is solid
Well Done....
Looking forward to the next story

Jonathan Langford posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 2:16pm for One Week Later

I hope this isn't the ending of the story. It would be bittersweet, and kind of fitting, but...ow.

bill wall posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 8:13am for One Week Later

a surpise.

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 5:48am for One Week Later

Oh, a couple of more things --

You never did explain Malfoy's reasoning behind setting up the contracts like that.

Tom A.

Crys replied:

You're right.   I didn't.   That was intentional.

Harry speculated several possible reasons, all of which made sense to me.   You can pick one of those or come up with your own.

Malfoy's an evil SOB.   He'd do it just cuz he could.

Not to mention giving me a intro to a story :)

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 19th October 2009 5:44am for One Week Later

No! No! No! You can't leave it like that! (In whinny voice like the kid in _Princess Bride_) Harry and Tracy _have_ to get together! After all they've been through, it can't end like this.

How about another chapter "a year later"? Please? With virtual cookies?
At least the description still says "work in progress."

Thanks for the story.
Tom A.

Crys replied:

Thanks for e-mailing the virtual cookies.   The next chapter will be going up shortly.

Now just who Harry ends up with . . .

capeboy posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 3:48pm for One Week Later

I really didn't enjoy this last chapter. Like, At All. Poor Daphne. Quite enjoyed the earlier chapters though. Seriously, WTF.

Tora58 posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 3:28pm for One Week Later

The last two chapters were too short and felt rushed, and this story suffers badly for it.

The end itself was fine, its just the pacing was horrible for the last two chapters...

Short Climax, is way to short.

brad posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 12:11pm for One Week Later

A very short chapter but it still delivered a hefty surprise. I was a bit taken aback at first about the law suit - as was your intent! - but the more I think about it the more I like your twist. Tracey always held back from going overboard with Harry and her freedom would have been the highest priority with her. Given that she gave Harry back most (*most*?!) of his estate it's *almost* like they both planned it from the beginning, although I understand they didn't. The last part of the scene very much set the tone of the whole thing/deal - with her freedom restored Tracey acknowledged Harry's nobility and goodness (which makes we readers feel good) and there's a possibility of something happening in the future between them, as equals.

Very good.

As chattel, how is it that Tracey could inherit Harry's estate upon his death? Wouldn't she be considered an asset that was *part* of that estate, instead? I guess I've forgotten something you laid down earlier in your story, about the chattel thing dissolving upon the master's death, something like that.

I appreciate how Dobby could pop into Malfoy manor and poison Riddle ... but, if they knew where Voldemort was staying, why did they wait until he moved to the Dolohov estate? That seemed to be a cusp of your story - Moody's discovering that intelligence, everyone moving into high gear and planning the assault - which doesn't seem that important, retrospectively, if they/Harry knew where Riddle was all the time anyway.

Hey, with Harry now unencumbered this means that he's available!! Hermione, get a move on and cosy up to your best friend, you hear? He saved himself for you, you know!!

(I don't think there's a symbol for 'half joking ... but half serious'?)

Yes, a nice *practical* little ending that, frankly, read a whole lot better than the last chapter; I do think you're choice to write the previous instalment in Brad's third-person perspective made it feel rather awkward.

Next chapter, Hermione and Harry, right? ;-)

fyr fly posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 11:17am for One Week Later

Hey, great story so far. I noticed a few chapters back (cant remember what one sorry) that you refered to death eaters as "deez". I realise that this is from your other works but I don't think the term has been explained in this story. I'd just thought to point it out as a small inconsistency. But apart from that this is a wonderful story and I cant wait to read more.

White Knight Leo posted a comment on Sunday 18th October 2009 9:09am for One Week Later

Not sure what to think about this one. The other chapters were all great, but this is missing something.
Its not bad by any stretch, but not your best.