1001 Deaths of Lord Voldemort
One to Fifty
By Crys
Reviews
David Thacker posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 10:47am for One to Fifty
That was even better than what I came up with.
Crys replied:
Glad you liked the result of your bunny.
Kyle Bissett posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 10:26am for One to Fifty
Idea 1:
Voldemort was holding a meeting with his inner circle at his manor, when one of the lesser Death Eaters ran in.
"My Lord! Harry Potter has appeared! He is half a mile away from the manor, chanting an unusual spell. Something about darkness beyond twilight..."
Before the servant could finish the message, Harry's voice boomed out over the countryside.
"DRAGON SLAVE!"
Riddle Manor, Voldemort, and all Death Eaters present abruptly vanished as a concentrated beam of total whoopass obliterated not only the manor, but the hill it was on, and half the village as well. That evening on muggle radio, reporters wondered about the sudden nuclear event that happened in the small village of Little Hangleton.
(Note: this is why a Slayers/Harry Potter crossover would likely be very short)
Idea2:The Death Eater army approached Hogwarts. The giants strode up the hill first, so as to be able to breach the walls.
But as the giants neared the top of the hill, a contingency plan set up by the Weasley twins came into effect. The giants brought there heavy feet down and encountered WWW Zero Friction Floor Wax, which had been dumped on the hillside in generous amounts. The giants slipped, fell backwards, and flattened the entire army they had come to support.
Idea 3:
Voldemort had trapped his enemy at last. Stuck in the corner of the small room, with an anti-apparation field in place to prevent retreat, the Boy-Who-Lived would soon die. In keeping with regulations of the Dark Wizard's Union, Local 17, he paused to gloat.
"Any last words, Potter?"
Harry smiled. "This building will self-destruct in five seconds." He then vanished from a concealed portkey.
Five seconds later, the blasting charges that Harry had placed throughout his hideout long before went off.
freakyfinger posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 10:25am for One to Fifty
Oh man, that was HILARIOUS. I had to stop a couple of times to calm myself. I love the orgy one . . . . that would interesting . . .
Bobmin356 posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 10:19am for One to Fifty
Heh, I have plenty of ways to kill Voldie... but share them? NEVER! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!
Crys replied:
If you're unwilling to share them, then you can write a story for each method. Deal? :)
PhiloWorm posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 9:36am for One to Fifty
Wery good I must say, wery good indeed. Hovewer because of the Veela Draco sceene I'm forced to shoot it down because that on nearly made me chocke on my own vomit. Not only is the wery existence of male veela doubtful (I can live with that) The possibility of Draco beeing one is abyssmal (again I could live with it) but the mere suggestion of 1. Draco having something even reasembeling sex-apeal and 2. he and Harry... "shudders" your bloody mental you know that? Of to St. Mungos with ya, there ya can hold Lockheart with company.
The Rest of the bunnies and stuff were hillarious though.
Crys replied:
I never said I WANTED that one to happen! I'd have to be mental to want it ;)
It was a parody of all the Veela!Draco stories out there.
Marc Bousquet posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 9:33am for One to Fifty
Great ideas for the many demises of Voldy. I especially like him getting run over by the knight bus and the best was the scene with Luna, thought the orgy request to Padma was also pretty funny.
Andrei posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 9:21am for One to Fifty
Hahah, these are great. What does else-norway stand for then?
Crys replied:
Anagram of "Ron Weasley"
M. R. Moore posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 9:01am for One to Fifty
well i really didn't find them all to be very funny but most fo them were good. I really like the barney one. I'm surprised i remember most of that song, the fact that i end up sing the last half of 'Nick nack paddy wack' doesn't mean anything at all.
Brad Crawford posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 8:16am for One to Fifty
theirs always the three legged fairy chicken of doom! but well i wouldnt want to share that horror!
Brandon West posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 7:42am for One to Fifty
You should be hung, drawn, quartered, poisoned, stabbed, castrated/tube tied, and cut up again in dog treats for that male Veela one. No, I'm Sirius. *grin*
How about he gets kissed by all those Dementors he freed from Azkaban?
Crys replied:
The Veela!Draco thing was a parody of the sub-genre of such fics.
Your bunny has been added to the file. Thanks.
millercommamatt posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 7:12am for One to Fifty
Here's one you might add.
Lord Voldemort granted young Harry a brief meeting before what he knew would be the boy's destruction. And thus, they sat in a small muggle pub in Speyside at a worn oak table. Volemort watched Harry sip slowly at a pint of cask ale while he himself drank freely from a glass of the finest wine. (Perhaps keeping a few muggles around wouldn't be such a bad idea.) Suddenly, Harry looked up from his glass and stared into the eyes of the Dark Lord. Voldemort knew the child was expecting an answer to his offer. Voldemort slowly hissed, "You expect me to turn away from the Dark Arts? You are a fool. You walk away from the greatest power I have even seen, and now you expect me to do the same. The Dark Arts are the key to my eventual rise as the master of this planet. Why would I abandon them?"
"Because I have asked you. And because your loyalty to the man who brought you out of the muggle world should be greater than your ambition. And because I have poisoned your drink."
The last thing Voldmort saw before everything faded to black, was a grin so evil that it put his own to shame.
-millercommamatt
Dialogue stolen and adapted from the Babylon 5 episode Ceremonies of Light and Dark
Crys replied:
Lando Mollari to Lord Refa. Good show.
David Wangen posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 6:50am for One to Fifty
"He was so intent upon what was in front of him that he didn't hear the door open behind him, nor did he hear Harry Potter sneak into the room.
"I KNOW I'm in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike, you bloody computer!" "
I laughed my a** off. However, I found the male veela one both disturbing and profoundly sickening...
Good little vignettes.
Crys replied:
The veela!Draco thing is a jab at all of those type stories that were running around awhile back.
Olafr posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 6:46am for One to Fifty
That was a rather curious thing to read over breakfast. Quite amusing. :-)
As for ideas... How about, Voldemort trips over something and falls into the Veil (maybe a banana skin)? Or maybe invades Hogwarts and gets grabbed and eaten by the Giant Squid?
Cute idea, thanks for sharing iwth us.
sailrpopeye posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 6:19am for One to Fifty
Well... that was certainly... different...
But great though - will there possibly be a continuation to these? Especially liked the Knight Bus bit "OOOps - sorry about that..." and Lucius offing an uppety half-blood...
Maybe:
A Roadrunner type scene with Harry tied to the tracks, Moldieshorts gloating over him, and then being plastered by a train coming the other way on the adjoining tracks?
Or maybe a confrontation in a disco, with Voldie being jarred as he fires off an AK, hitting a mirror globe and getting fried himself by the thirty or so reflected beams?
Ed
Crys replied:
Added to file. Thanks for the bunny.
gilly131 posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 5:56am for One to Fifty
Just the laugh I needed, since I am stuck at home taking care of a sick child. Of course my brain isn't working so I will have to sit and figure out the anagram.
Meghan posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 5:52am for One to Fifty
orgy plus ron weasley- ha! double ha! good job... how about Voldemort getting strung by his gonads when tonks butchers a spell? or tonks tripping and falling into him or winky forcing him to cry that he really is a mama's boy and wants to be loved and then she takes care of him and he's docile forever or mmm... how's about a romance with a dementor? giggle image the kiss then bwuah
Crys replied:
A variation of your bunny added to the file. Thanks!
Tom Pearson1 posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 5:45am for One to Fifty
The one with Luna is brilliant. Thanks for cheering me up from this bloody flu!
Crys replied:
Despite the flu bug, glad I could help.
Hope you feel better soon.
m4r13 posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 5:33am for One to Fifty
So great, thanks, that was really great, but I didn't take the warning at the beginning and I quite spill out my tea on my laptop... Nevermind, I suppose that the singing plush purple dinosaur is Barney the great love of the children under five ? *this horrible plush is unbearable. Four month of this thing singing was killing me when I was au pair in Eire, kill Barney, kill Barney !!*
Alright, I'm better now. ^___^
I love the Luna one. Poor narrow minded Voldishort... Oh and the orgy is so great... I'm sure you can find some different approach for each girl. Padma the clever one, Parvati the giggling one, some kind of funny game, Susan some pity might work, etc.
Love your stories.
Marie
Alara Moonrunner posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 5:15am for One to Fifty
Bwhahahaha! How about Voldie desides to have a piano/pool table/other object moved into one of the rooms at Riddle mansion and it drops onto his head.
or:
He goes for a swim and somehow drowns.
Crys replied:
Added to file. Thanks for the bunny.
Lynks posted a comment on Wednesday 1st March 2006 10:50am for One to Fifty