1001 Deaths of Lord Voldemort
Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
By Crys
Reviews
myrthe1203 posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd July 2014 4:35pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
You did the Monty Python bunny. =) (Yeah, I know you didn't do it at my suggestion. Just glad I got to read it.)
cornfertilizer posted a comment on Sunday 23rd May 2010 3:50pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Here's my idea
'Teaching these children is extremely boring. I understand why Severus has gotten so nasty in his tenure as a potions professor,' decided Lord Voldemort who was currently sharing the body of Quinirius Quirrell.
Lord Voldemort thought that tonight would be a perfect night to move through the school's pipe system in his basilisk animagus form.
He reached a room containing a mirror that appeared to give off tremendous amounts of magical energy. He stared right into the mirror.
Before the mirror could show him his desire, he saw his reflection and died.
Albus Dumbledore came under investigation by the Department of Mysteries, because while searching for the missing Professor Quirrell they found the mirror which had been stolen from them last September.
If you want to include this you can rearrange it if you want..I'm not the best writer. I love your story by the way
Orion posted a comment on Monday 8th December 2008 7:19am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Wow . . . just wow.
misterq posted a comment on Wednesday 3rd December 2008 5:48am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
And some more plot bunnies....
After the debacle of the Triwizard tournament, Harry had a new purpose: to master the confoundous charm. If the spell could fool an ancient magical artifact enough to spurt out his name, what could it do to people, Harry wondered. So after sneaking into the restricted section and reading up on the wand motions of the curse, Harry decided to give it a try. It was too bad that the librarian startled him before Harry read that the curse was temporary. Not knowing this, Harry pushed as much power as he could manage every time he cast it, making the effects last for years instead of days or weeks.
After the success of making Snape believe that Draco was the son of his eternally hated rival, Lucius; making Umbridge as nice and capable a teacher as her decorations were pink; and Filch actually enjoy his work in a magical castle - at least enough not to take it out on the students; Harry was ready with his new spell.
Just in time too, for when Voldemort sent him visions of Sirius being kept in the Department of Mysteries, the Dark Lord's deference were lowered enough for Harry to make Voldemort believe that his own face was a very defiant Harry Potter.
***
"Accio Voldemort's retinas!" Harry shouted during the final battle. Voldemort screamed as he went blind instantly, allowing Harry to cast a cutting curse at Riddle's wand. And as he was taken into custody and eventually given to the dementors to kiss, no one was about to give a weak, blind Voldemort a pair of magical eyes.
***
Harry had never been that great a student, but outside of Hermione's nagging, he never had that much motivation. Right up until he noticed a pattern in his life. Every so often, he would encounter a magical artifact that he would have to use or protect or destroy. In either case, it would change his life, and not for the better.
There was the mirror of erised, the philosopher's stone, the sword of Gryfindor, the cursed diary of Voldemort, the sorting hat... and the list goes on and on.
Well no more would he have to rely on other magical artifacts. Harry decided he would start making his own. So after he and his friends were attacked by a hundred dementors, Harry decided to make something that would be of use against them. But it was a Japanese cartoon he saw Dudley watching that gave him the idea. After that, it was just a matter of owl-ordering and reading a few books on runes and artifact creation. And about a year of trial and error.
It was fortunate that the two dementors decided to attack Harry and Dudley. Fortunate for Harry as he smiled and withdrew two red and white balls that he had created (and which finally worked as intended).
Thus, when Voldemort appeared in the Ministry of Magic, he was momentarily surprised when Harry tossed those very same balls at him. He was even more surprised when they opened and released two dementors completely loyal to Harry. And since the horcruxes were linked to Voldemort's soul, they too were sucked away by the Dementors' kiss.
***
As McGonnagal said, human to animal transfiguration is extremely tricky. So when Harry, remembering what happened to Draco, tried to turn Voldemort into a ferret during their duel at the graveyard; he didn't get a ferret. He got something red and pulsing and unrecognizable that gasped and wheezed for almost half a minute before it stilled forever.
***
Voldemort gloated to his captive, "I'll now see into your mind and find out exactly what Harry Potter is doing. Legimens!" Unfortunately, the Dark Lord chose the very worst mind possible to go spelunking in.
Thirty seconds later, Luna Lovegood was clapping in joy as a mentally-scarred-for-life Voldemort did his third clumsy rendition of 'I'm a little teapot, short and stout'.
***
Harry launched a glowing cord of magic from his palm while yelling "Get over here!". The magic rope hooked Voldemort and forced him across the Ministry of Magic's lobby and closer to Harry while stunning him momentarily.
"Finish him!" Hermione yelled. Boy was she was glad she had been wrong when she told Harry that he couldn't develop magic based on a ordinary video game.
With another gesture, Harry then froze the Dark Lord in a block of ice before shattering it into a million fragments. Harry bowed to the stunned people watching and exclaimed, "Fatality!"
***
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Tuesday 25th November 2008 6:47am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Unfortunately, I don't have time to turn this into a full story, but... Well, thinking about phonology versus orthography has yielded me a slight rewording of the prophecy: "but he will have power the Dark Lord knows, Nott..." After all, it's hard to figure out where the punctuation goes when someone is chanting in a monotone... So, what if Nott is a spy, and not just that but a known spy Voldemort uses to feed false information to the other side. And when Voldemort finally decides to get rid of him, he surprises ol' Snakeface by fighting back?
Crys replied:
Both you and misterq came up with variations (. . . knows Nott) on the same idea. You're mentioned in that.
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Monday 24th November 2008 6:46pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Inspired by Superman 2:
Harry collapsed at Voldemort's feet, a half dozen Death Eaters surrounding the two. The Dark Lord had a pensive look on his face before withdrawing an odd staff.
"I will not settle for killing you, Potter. With this, I will take all your power for my own, and none will be able to stop me!" With that boast, he touched the end of the staff to Harry, green arcs of lightning crackling between the two.
Harry reached up, weakly, to grab at Voldemort's arm. A curious look came over his face as a cracking sound emerged from where he'd squeezed. Voldemort, for his part, was to shocked to so much as cry out.
"...thanks, Tom. I think you were holding it backwards." Standing up, Harry grabbed Voldemort with one hand, lifting him up easily before hurling him into a wall. "So who's next?"
Crys replied:
Scene added to the file
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Tuesday 18th November 2008 4:32am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
These are all very funny but some deserve special mentions:
LOL at the Myrtle one and Dobby as Yoda's great grandson.
The Boy Who Had Obviously Lost It was a great one liner.
The fluttering butterfly one was hilarious.
The zombification of the graveyard was also great.
LOL at the dead squirrel.
394 - I think Luna would approve and probably still be willing to marry him. It would keep the Quibbler in print for decades!
The Dangerverse one was also brilliant.
The final one was fantastic. Love the idea of Moody being right.
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Monday 17th November 2008 5:51pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
A Fanged Frisbee, an Ever-Bashing Boomerang, a Screaming Yo-Yo and Voldemort. All together, there has to be some interesting situation in there. I just can't think of it.
Oh, and for any interested parties, my last offering was based off a few old quotes from Athol Guy, who was the double-bass player for The Seekers. I didn't expect anyone to get it, but I had hoped.
Crys replied:
Bunny added to the file
misterq posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2008 6:37am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Here are some more plot bunnies:
"You know, Tom, there are two things Lockhart taught us," Harry Potter said to his adversary across the graveyard where they were currently dueling. "First, beware of things that come in swarms. And the second thing is OBLIVATE!"
The Boy-who-lived was a bit more powerful than his former second year defense teacher and when his beam hit true, the immortal dark lord slumped to the ground, only remembering enough to keep breathing while drooling all over himself.
Harry looked at the collapsed Voldemort and then back to the astonished Death Eaters. "I guess I didn't even have to use this," the boy said as he magically expanded the fragile box of Cornish pixies he always carried and threw it, grenade style, at the assembled dark wizards.
***
While Lily Potter screamed and pleaded with the Dark Lord not to kill her son, baby Harry reached into his mother's pocket and pulled out a few of the experimental rune stones she had been working on. Then, as all babies tend to do with new things, Harry shoved three of the small stones into his mouth.
Voldemort sneered at the dead woman before turning his attention towards the boy. The killing curse hit the baby who was gnawing on the power, amplify, and absorption stones inside his mouth - and did nothing. No scar, no dead toddler, nothing. The green beam did absolutely nothing.
The Dark Lord was astounded. He cast his favorite spell again with the same results. The same thing happened with the third, fourth, and fifth casting. Voldemort tried other curses at that point. Blood boiling, bone breaking, decapitation curses, even fiendfyre. Nothing. Just Harry Potter starting at him.
Pulling out a dagger, Voldemort advanced at the boy who could suddenly feel the ill intent from this tall scary man who had been shooting different colors at him. The toddler reasoned that maybe he was upset because he gave him all those colors and got none in return.
And with that thought, Harry's eyes changed from their usual green to a kaleidoscopic prism of swirling colors before launching an amplified combination of all the spells Voldemort cast right back at the dark wizard.
***
Harry had never been that great at transfiguration, but he had need of the skills now. While tied to the gravestone, Harry was expending all his effort to turning as much of the air above himself, Voldemort, and his death eaters into a fine mist of scent-less fuel. Harry figured that if he was going to die, he would take everyone with him.
Fortunately, he was freed, forced to duel, and somehow managed to get himself and Cedric's body to the cup portkey. And right before he touched his way back to freedom, Harry had time to cast one flame curse straight up at the massive hovering fuel cloud, showing Voldemort and his followers close up why the most powerful non-nuclear explosive the muggles had come up with was a fuel-to-air bomb.
****
"Magic Missile! Fireball! Orb of Disintegration!" Harry cast at Voldemort, grateful for both finding that old Dungeons and Dragons book at the store; and learning that with enough practice, he was able to get the spells to actually work.
***
Harry sat in the living room at 4 Privet Drive while his family was on vacation. Falling asleep during the horror film marathon on tv, Harry never realized that his scar link with Voldemort went both ways. The next day, the Dark Lord, who had never seen a muggle horror film, was found in his throne room dead from fright.
***
When learning how to apperate, Harry asked Hermione to see if she could develop a spell that would force someone to apperate. She managed it, but warned that there was a serious risk of splinching the target. Not much of a draw back if you're using it in battle, Harry mused as he casually kicked Voldemort's head like a soccer ball.
***
Voldemort died peacefully of old age. Unfortunately, that was shortly after drinking some house elf delivered fire whiskey laced with an extra strong version of the Weasley twins' aging potion.
***
"Reparo!" Harry cried the first spell he could think of and overpowered it with his emotions. Voldemort clutched himself as he changed. His eyes turned back from red to his natural color. His nose and hair crew back. But the most profound changes were all in his mind.
With a wave of his hand, the tall, elderly, but still somewhat handsome man stunned all of the death eaters.
"Thank you, Harry Potter. You have brought a measure of sanity back to this foolish man."
And with that, Tom Riddle collapsed down to the ground, crying for all the atrocities he had been responsible for. In that moment, Harry truly knew that Voldemort was truly and forever dead.
***
Crys replied:
Some of the ideas have already been used, but some scenes added to the file. Thanks
misterq posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2008 5:48am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Regina, feel free to use and expand any of my plot bunnies into a story. If you could, just post the link so I can read it. Awesome!
Regina Noctis posted a comment on Saturday 25th October 2008 4:48pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
(397) had to be my favorite. LOL, the real bookworm! And the affinities to different power sources is interesting...I might make a story based on that? lol
And thanks for publishing my bunnies! I'll let you know if I come up with any more... XD
Regina
Crys replied:
If you want to make a story on that, I have no objections. If you actually want to, let me know and I'll get you in touch with "misterq" as it was his idea in the first place.
Thanks for all the ideas, and I'll eagerly take any more you send in.
Katherine Summers posted a comment on Tuesday 21st October 2008 9:52pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
I was in chemistry yesterday and I wonder if Harry could kill all the death eaters and voldy by commanding Kreacher to pour bleach into every toilet in their hideout....involuntary gassing death...
Puck1 posted a comment on Tuesday 21st October 2008 1:51pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
This one popped in my head last week, after seeing the bonus question on a test in a martial arts class my uni is offering: Voldermort wandering into a cage fight between Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny.
Patches posted a comment on Sunday 19th October 2008 3:50pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
These are great. I applaud all the contributors with their creative ways to bring about the demise of Moldy Wort. You know who I mean. Thanks for writing. pms
darthloki posted a comment on Sunday 19th October 2008 1:49pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Some hours later, an American scientist cast a cursory glance out of one of the dock windows on the International Space Station, did a lightning-fast double take, and screamed. "Holy Mother of God! Patterson, radio Houston NOW!!"
Her partner didn't even look up from the computer he was bent over. "What about?"
"Aliens are real, they're humanoid, and there's one outside the window right now who wants to come in!"
*laughs hysterically*
Eric Oppen posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2008 10:08am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
If "the power he knows not" is love, what would happen if Harry Potter sprayed Voldemort down with Essence of Attractiveness...and he was promptly grabbed and dragged away by every witch in the vicinity, only to be found dead later, his robes in tatters and a silly smile on his face?
redjacobson posted a comment on Saturday 18th October 2008 1:46am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
SNERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There were some funny ones there!
red
J.D. Nicholai posted a comment on Friday 17th October 2008 7:30pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
Hermione using books to attack death eaters was quite amusing.
Wolfric posted a comment on Thursday 16th October 2008 6:43pm for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred
I liked the last one best. W.
itsme posted a comment on Tuesday 21st June 2016 10:10am for Three Hundred and Fifty-One to Four Hundred