1001 Deaths of Lord Voldemort
Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
By Crys
Reviews
Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2008 11:51am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
223 - ......huh?
239 - Xenophoclies?
Crys replied:
223 - well, Neville could have been the BWL, right?
239 - Just made up a name that I thought sounded good for an ancient red dragon
Anansii posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd January 2008 6:56pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Whoops, finally noticed your reply. The Lens is an artifact in the Doc Smith "Lensmen" series, and is basically a focus that only works for the owner, and kills anybody else.
meanwhile...
It's Halloween night when Harry spots Voldemort near the Shrieking Shack. Thinking quickly, he changes his costume robes and mask to match Tom's, waves at him, yells "Hey, Moldywart, can't catch me!" and runs inside. Voldemort follows him inside, passing from light to shadow into the depths of the shack. In the dim light he sees his foe before him, wand out. He fires first "Avada Kedavra!" There is a bright green flash...
Harry looks down at the body of the late Tom Marvolo Riddle and grins. That spell reflecting mirror was worth every galleon he paid the twins for it...
Crys replied:
A mirror has already been used. See scene #23
Thanks for sending the idea, though.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Thursday 25th October 2007 1:40pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
#250 makes me chuckle, it also makes me want to see Tom meet up with Marvin the Martian and/or "Duck Dodgers in the 23-1/2 Century".
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Tuesday 16th October 2007 11:34am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Is it just me, or have rabid plot bunnies taken over Killer07? Having said that, they are VERY funny. COngratulations.
Crys replied:
I don't think it's just you. The scary thing is that I'm only using something like half of what he sends me.
Glad you're enjoying.
Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 12th October 2007 5:50pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
As Harry helps Bill at a curse breaking in Egypt he finds an imprisoned Tok'ra and a Goa'uld hand device inclusive personal shield. Turns out that the shield even stops the 3 unforgivable.
Greetings
Killer07
slickrcbd posted a comment on Friday 12th October 2007 3:35pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
I just had an idea inspired by a talk about terrorism that somehow mentioned the Unabomber. Perhaps you might want to include this after a bit of cleaning up?
Voldermort looked at the package delivered by the snowy white owl in surprise. He knew, from his spies, that this was Potter's owl. Being extremely suspicious, he began casting every detection spell he knew, but couldn't find a trace of magic on the package. Satisfied, he opened the package, which promptly exploded.
Thus, Voldemort became the first wizard to be killed by a muggle mail bomb, delivered via owl post.
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file.
Chris1 posted a comment on Friday 12th October 2007 2:34am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Lovely collection :D
238 has a typo. Resulta instead of Results. :)
Chris
Crys replied:
Typo fixed. Thanks.
Glad you're enjoying it.
Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 12th October 2007 1:58am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
The problem with Inferi is that you have to give them exact commands to carry out or you have a problem. As he gave the command to attack everyone that tries to get his hocrux he should have done one of two thinks a) not reach for it afterwards or b) put a simple exclusion of himself into this command. But unfortunately he forgot.
Greetings
Killer07
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 79th
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Thursday 4th October 2007 2:38am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
He'd done it.
Going beyond the mere stopgap measure of a Horcrux, Voldemort had achieved what he perceived to be true immortality. The prophecy had been fulfilled - Potter had died at his hand - and the Dark Lord had conquered the world, truly unstoppable.
Eventually, though, his followers died off. They'd killed off all the muggles, yes, and many witches and wizards besides. Inbreeding had taken its toll, and soon no humans were left - save one. Dark Lord Voldemort still reigned over the Earth. Alone. Bored.
Watching the sun itself fade, Voldemort looked forward to the heat-death of the universe.
(Not a funny one - but it's a possible end for him.)
Crys replied:
Thanks. Scene added to the file. Your 21st credit
LandUnderWave posted a comment on Wednesday 3rd October 2007 5:36am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
I think my laughter over this story managed to scare even my desensitized family. Three ideas: Something involving the trick step in Gryffindor Tower. Voldemort seeing, say, Sailor Moon, and dying of terminal cuteness overload. And anything involving anyone from Discworld(I love those books!).
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny (trick step) added to the file.
Zarz posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd October 2007 10:29am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
The bunnies just keep getting better and better. I'd love to see one with a Doctor Who crossover; either the Doctor himself or the Daleks (EXTERMINATE!) or the Cybermen (DELETE!). That would be a lot of fun.
Another possibility would be Voldemort thinks that muggle religion is just as stupid as the muggles themselves until a monk (or otherwise) performs an exorcism on him (before he's resurrected) and banishes him to Hell. I love the Voldemort getting confused by muggles bunnies. You've mentioned him getting pulled into jet engines in flight, but a variation might be on the ground, when he doesn't realize that just because you can't see the propellers doesn't mean they aren't there.
One last idea. I'm not sure if you've heard of the SCA, but it's a medieval reenactment group, complete with weapons and entire wars. If Voldemort apparated into Pennsic War (a war with over 13,000 attendees) and ended up in the middle of a melee, he might get beaten to death (the swords are solid wooden sticks) before anyone even noticed - that's why everyone wears some pretty solid armor and is not supposed to be an emaciated resurrected dude with neither sword nor shield. Of for that matter, some people in the group are into building their own working seige engines! Wrong place, wrong time, dead Voldie.
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny (propellers) added to the file.
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd October 2007 12:15am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
It had taken months. The stupid muggles didn't know what they had. What has slowed him so much was the magical protections placed around the object. The Muggles, oblivious to their very existance, had been no problem, but it had taken a long time to overcome the wards.
The wards themselves had been a confusing set of almost randomly placed magical protections. What Voldemort didn't know was that every wizard for the last hundred years that had found out what was in the library had placed their own set of protective wards around the structure.
And thus, night after night, Voldemort had chipped away at the wards around the library at Miskatonic University. And now he held the book in his hand. Bound in human skin, written in blood, there was no finer copy of this work in the world.
A week later, Wormtongue would find the Dark Lord still in his study, gibbering away. Nothing they could do would return his sanity (such as it was). He couldn't even feed himself. His only reaction to the outside world was when a Whip-o-will would call; the former Dark Lord would stop gibbering, curl into a fetal position, and shiver.
When the Death Eaters got tired of feeding him, Voldemort died of starvation.
With their Lord Dead, the Death Eaters decided to become a political party and through splintering and parlimentary wrangling, never achieved any of their ends.
Lucius Malfoy took one last shot of revenge at Harry Potter.
Harry Potter, Auror trainer, received a package one morning. Opening it, he found a strange, very old book. He opened the book, noting the smell of decay that seemed to surround it. On the first page, in hand written letters, was the word
Necronomicon
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Monday 1st October 2007 1:49pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Voldemort plotted and pondered. Harry Potter had been missing for weeks, and according to his spies the Order has just as little idea of his location as he. This could be a problem in the long run, but the dark lord decided to get a bit of mayhem done in the meantime, while the Order was distracted chasing down leads as to its charge's whereabouts.
Just as he was about to call Wormtail to bring his latest orders to the Death Eaters at large, a sphere of light appeared in the middle of his study. Before he had time to react, the glow suddenly grew too bright to look at, then faded, leaving three figures in its wake.
Upon seeing the central figure, Voldemort couldn't help but laugh.
"Halloween isn't for another ten months, boy!" he exclaimed. Indeed, Harry Potter, for he was one of the three figures, was dressed oddly, in bronze greaves, sandals, crested helmet, leather breastplate, and, of all things, a metal-edged leather skirt! He held a spear in one hand and a tall shield in the other, and wore a short, straight sword at his side.
"And this isn't a costume," Harry responded. "I am a hoplite, a trained soldier of the Athenian tradition. Please allow me to introduce my trainer." He gestured to the woman on his right, a tall, regal woman, similarly attired, but with an odd sword with a concave curve to the blade. Her breastplate was of a slightly different shade and texture, as if it had come from a different kind of animal, and her shield was covered, and apparently lumpy under that cover. "This is my sister. Well, half-sister, anyway. You may call her Glaukopis."
"I thought you were an only child?"
"Yes, well... Perhaps you'd like to explain to him?" he asked the woman on his left.
"Of course, dear. You see, Mr. Riddle, the truth is that Lily Potter was incapable of bearing children. I made a deal with the Potters: James would conceive his heir with me, and the couple could raise him as their own. Imagine my surprise to see how things actually turned out."
"I see." Voldemort contemplated the tableau before him for a moment, trying to decide if he should continue their conversation for a little longer or if he should just kill them all now. He finally decided to ask the one burning question on his mind: "What does this have to do with dressing up like a hoplite?"
"Haven't you guessed?" Harry asked. "With all those purebloods around you, you haven't been exposed to the classics?"
"What do you mean the classi-" Voldemort stopped suddenly, remembering: When someone in the upper class said "classics," they meant Greece and Rome. Here he had a pair of people in the garb of Athenian soldiers. And what had he called his sister? Glaukopis? He made the connection, and a few others, and he froze.
"That's right," the regal warrior said, her voice one that could--and did--command armies. "I am Athene Glaukopis: Bright-Eyed Athena. And this is my mother."
"Harry is, indeed, my secondborn," said Harry's mother--Metis, Voldemort now knew. "Subject of a prophecy infinitely older than yours, Harry is the one who is mighty enough to be the end of Zeus himself."
"The power you know not... Well, Tom, it's the power you sought," Harry finished. "The power of a god. Now, I'm gonna make this quick; I've got to go kill my step-dad, and, quite frankly, you aren't even gonna be much of a warmup."
Crys replied:
Thanks. Scene added to the file. Your 11th credit
Killer07 posted a comment on Saturday 29th September 2007 6:19pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
A little known fact is that you shouldn't overdo it with the dark magic usage if you have a phoenix feather wand core. The phoenix is a creature of the light and the wand core could suddenly turn on you. (And phoenix fire isn't really pleasant for a dark wizard...)
Greetings
Killer07
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 78th
Eric Oppen posted a comment on Saturday 29th September 2007 12:17pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Personally, if I'd been Harry, when I was going off to meet Voldemort, I'd have brought him a present.
About five or six fully-grown mandrakes in a box, rigged so that when I opened the box, they'd all be pulled out at once. I'd be wearing earplugs...but the Death Nibblers wouldn't, now, would they?
Crys replied:
Something very similar has already been done. See scene #40.
Thanks for the idea, anyway.
morriganscrow posted a comment on Thursday 27th September 2007 12:59pm for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Pepe Le Pew!Harry FTW!!
I just re-read all the chapters, and laughed my head off. Brilliant!
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Monday 24th September 2007 2:17am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Plot bunny:
Harry is, as per prophecy, the Chosen One. But Voldemort continually fails to kill him because he's not the Dark Lord spoken of in prophecy. Meanwhile, halfway around the world, the Dark Lord in question continues his plans.
Voldemort is busy fighting Harry when said Dark Lord's plans to destroy the world come to fruition. Ooops.
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 20th
HappeeGoLuckee posted a comment on Sunday 23rd September 2007 3:33am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
Scene from Blazing Saddles, eh? Nice
Crys replied:
*grin* Glad someone recognized that. Thanks.
Killer07 posted a comment on Saturday 22nd September 2007 6:57am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty
A little known fact is that a Hocrux count's as a favourite food of the dementors. When they see one they can't resist and eat the soul piece in the Hocrux. Just as Wormtail wants to complete the resurrection ritual of Voldy a wild dementor found the last Hocrux and has a fine dinner. As a result the last part of Voldys soul goes to the afterlife because it isn't bound by the Hocruxe or a real body anymore. Meanwhile the Dementor thinks that was a fine dinner it was centuries ago since he had last such a fine dark soul (His favorite flavour because innocent and pure souls have no taste but dark and tortured souls are some of the best).
Greetings
Killer07
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 77th
Regina Noctis posted a comment on Monday 14th July 2008 10:00am for Two Hundred and One to Two Hundred and Fifty