1001 Deaths of Lord Voldemort
Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
By Crys
Reviews
Johnny Eagle posted a comment on Saturday 10th May 2008 12:28pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
279 - Didn't need that image
300 - I don't get it
Crys replied:
300 - Hebe is the Greek goddess of Youth and is married to Herakles (Hercules)
Thwaaack posted a comment on Friday 4th April 2008 2:24pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
A young Tom Riddle, on his way to the Hogwarts Express for the start og his 6th year of Magical Education, Decides to stop in at a barbershop for a shave. He walks into the shop above Mrs Lovett's Pie Shop and gets the closest shave he's ever had.
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 17th March 2008 4:22am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Inspired by 268.
Voldemort had won. Supreme Wizard on the planet.
Then he made his biggest mistake.
He tried to take over the muggles.
His side lost the resulting, conventional war.
It took a few years, but he was finally hunted down by the winning side, dragged out of his small, underground hidey-hole, and executed for his part in instigating a war and various war crimes.
When the execution didn't work, they took him to a government lab. He was never seen again.
- - -
Indianna Jones stormed into the Government office.
"Where's Voldemort!" he demanded.
"He's safely being studied," the non-descript spy agency bereaucrat answered.
"You fools! He can't be killed. He's powerful beyond belief! You have no idea what you're working with here. Who's studying him?"
"Top people," came the cryptic reply.
"Who? Is it Vaslovic? Is he in charge?"
"Top people." Indianna
heard the period at the end of the stament. He knew he had been dismissed.
He stormed out of the building, cursing.
Meanwhile, a wooden box was being wheeled into a huge wearhouse full of numbered, wooden boxes. Several hours after the box had been placed there was some banging that might have been heard from it, but considering all the sound muffling packing around the internal, metal box, it was doubtful that anyone except someone right next to it would have heard anything.
Crys replied:
Thanks. Scene added to the file.
Sam Vere posted a comment on Wednesday 12th March 2008 8:19am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
I think I spotted where 278 came from: There was something very similar in a humorous book called "So you Want to be a Superhero" in the section benefiting the benefits of having a Billionaire Playboy as your alter-ego.
Pity I don't have my copy any more...
MercuryBlue posted a comment on Wednesday 5th March 2008 2:37pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
And we just spent several minutes laughing at all the new ones. She thinks the last one is good for three of Hercules's labors. Also: "You and all your readers are nuts. Of course, I read you. Never mind."
Crys replied:
Hey, I resemble that remark!
MercuryBlue posted a comment on Wednesday 5th March 2008 2:30pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
IMs from my esteemed and somewhat crazy roommate:
(2008-03-05 22:21:46) Anne: September headline in The Quibbler: "You-Know-Who Drowns in Vat of Butterbeer; Allegations of Trips to Loo Denied by Ministry Officials"
(2008-03-05 22:22:37) Anne: October headline in The Quibbler: "You-Know-Who Found Dead in Home of Apparently Self-Inflicted Killing Curse; Acquaintances Say He Was Trying to Clean His Wand at the Time"
(2008-03-05 22:23:50) Anne: November headline in The Quibbler: "You-Know-Who Suffocates When Head Becomes Trapped Between Cauldron and Cauldron Stand; Severus Snape Declines Comment"
(2008-03-05 22:25:13) Anne: December headline in The Quibbler: "You-Know-Who Spontaneously Combusts Upon Seeing the Fourth Death Eater in a Row Reading The Quibbler; See Page Four for Details on Reimbursement Fund for Editor"
Crys replied:
I thank the both of you. This bunny added to the file in addition to several you sent me on the private group.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Sunday 2nd March 2008 2:10pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
*snicker* I love the latest editions. #293 is especially inspired as I'm "of an age" to remember mechanical calculators and to have sent one into "spasms" by trying to devide by zero. :D A delightful set of additions.
Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 29th February 2008 6:18am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Trying to steal a magical artifact from Dr. Steven Strange wasn't one of Voldy's most brilliants ideas. Earth's Sorcerer Supreme is a WAY above Voldy's power league.
Greetings
Killer07
Killer07 posted a comment on Friday 29th February 2008 6:10am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
As Voldy is on the rooftop of a building in New York planning to steal a powerfull magical Artifact he suddenly gets interrupted by a strange muggle in a red and blue costume with a spider symbol on the costume. He thought this annoyance is easily handled but he thought wrong.
Greetings
Killer07
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 89th.
I used Venom instead, though. Figured he'd be a bit more willing to kill.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Friday 22nd February 2008 5:40pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Regarding Killer07's "MI" scenario, I like it (loved the show as a teenager) but wonder if it's going to be a tape, from the original show, or a CD, from the 80's re-do, that self-distructs. Note, if you use the tape, you could *really* play with folks minds, and memories, by using Dan Griggs, from MI's first tv season, rather than Jim Phelps.
Note to Killer07: I agree with your evaluation of Jim Phelps and your thoughts about the movies; IMHO Tom Cruise ruined the concept. I'd much rather see the 80's re-do used as a basis with Jim advising the new team leader or stepping in, again, when his protege was killed (see the first episode of the 80's redo).
Minerva Granger posted a comment on Wednesday 20th February 2008 4:49pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
very nice. I especially appreciated 285.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Tuesday 19th February 2008 10:46am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Hmm, 'bout the only thing I can think of that'd be more suicidal than hurting someone John McClane cared about would be hurting someone John Macklin "Mack" Bolan cared about - that tends to bring all sorts of hell down on you.
Just a thought, since Tom was resurrected using "... blood of an enemy ...", what if Harry no longer became his enemy? I could see this happening in a number of ways.
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Sunday 17th February 2008 9:41am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Idea, not a scene:
Vernon's plant held a 'take your kid to work' day. He would have brought Dudley, but he complained that it would be boring. Still, appearances had to be kept up, so he brought Harry - ordering the freak to behave OR ELSE.
Voldemort showed up to kill Harry. Vernon does not like magic. Or the freaks practicing it. And it had been a bad day already. So, he used some of the drilling equipment on the freak in the robes. Strangely enough, after he explained that it had been a terrorist - the dead security guards a testament to this - he was congratulated. Funny how the world works.
...hefty modifications needed, I think.
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 33rd.
Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 11th February 2008 6:09am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Damm forgot the last sentence in my last bunny.
This disk will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
Killer07 posted a comment on Monday 11th February 2008 6:03am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
In the back of a park a man inserts a small disk into a device that looks like a hightech video player.
"Good morning Jim.
This man is Tom Marvollo Riddle also known under the pseudonym Lord Voldemort. A higly dangerous class W Terrorist.
Hss last terror campain was stopped as he tried to kill this boy Harry James Potter as a 15 month old boy. Unfortunately the class W ministry was highly ineffective in dismantling the support structure of Riddle. Many of his followers got of free. Recently Riddle was brought back into power through this man Peter Pettigrew. This man framed Sirius Black the Godfather of Harry Potter for his crimes and went into hiding until he had a chance to revive his master. Your mission should you accept it is to protect and train Harry James Potter and Hermione Jane Granger the best friend of him and find a way to eliminate Riddle. Be carefull of Ronald Billius Weasley another of Harry's friends. Because of his jealousity of Harrys fame, money and power he is a prime canidate to change sides to Riddle from what our analysts think. Also both Harry and Hermione could be good additions as free agents for IMF class W cases in the future. As always the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions in the event you or any of your IM Force were to get caught or killed. *starts mi theme*
Greetings
Killer07 (I still deny that Phelbs is a traitor and as such that the movies MI:1-3 exists)
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 88th.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 6:57pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
I always wind up writing these things in the wee hours, it seems. That first one came on its own, but these two and the bunny followed after I posted. Before I get to my scenes, however, I was wondering if you'd mind if I modeled something like this in another fandom and link back to yours as the inspiration? I'm in a silly mood and have decided to create a 1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane at a Daria fansite.
"Damn!" Harry shouted as his bullets bounced off of Voldemort's shield.
"You thought the power I knew not was a gun?" the Dark Lord gloated. "Silly boy, I was a child during the Second World War! I grew up with Dick Tracey (or a British equivalent) on the radio! Of course I know what a gun is!"
Harry threw his revolver down in disgust and spoke into a walkie talkie. "You were right, a handgun isn't enough. Time to break out the minigun." When Voldemort heard the name of Potter's next weapon, he burst out laughing. He stopped laughing when the first burst came.
I'm trying to come up with a good way for Vlad Taltos or his wife Cawti or one of their Dragaeran compatriots to take on Voldemort, but I've got nothing, so I'm just suggesting the general idea of a crossover with the Dragaeran Cycle. Dresden Files would be good, too.
Sorry, another Greek mythology one:
The first thing he did after getting a job at Borgin and Burke's was to aquire a room at the Leaky Cauldron. That accomplished, Tom Riddle walked down to the common area for dinner; not the kind of fare he expected to become accustomed to when people recognized his greatness, but Tom, the new cook, did dish out a pretty decent stew that would do for now. However, he would still be one of the first to die; no one with that name deserved to live. He, himself, was an exception, as he was in the process of ensuring that he would be known to history only as Lord Voldemort.
After ordering his food, To- Voldemort looked around for a table. As was often true, the tavern was quite full, and seating was hard to come by. He did, however, find a seat at the bar. It would have to do.
"Excuse me." Turning, Voldemort found himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He knew, suddenly, that this must be a goddess come to earth, the only woman worthy of his attentions. "You're sitting in my husband's seat," she said.
"Well, I'm sure he won't mind if I borrow it for a moment," Voldemort said suavely. "I'm just waiting for my food, then I'll be off to my room. In the meantime, I'm delighted to make your acquaintance. The company makes the wait worthwhile. May I ask your name?"
"I think my husband will mind very much. He has a... history of becoming violent at times. He no longer goes mad quite the way he used to, but he is still quite jealous."
"Like I said," he smarmed, knowing that the secret was just to keep her talking to him, "I'll be gone soon; I'm sure he won't mind. You may call me Voldemort."
"Oh! How rude of me!" the woman exclaimed. "My name is Hebe. My husband and I are actually visiting England at the moment; we're originally from the north of Greece." Voldemort felt a chill as a shadow several times his size covered him from behind. "Oh, hi, honey! I was just telling Mister Voldemort here about us!"
Crys replied:
If you want to use the same idea (1001 Deaths of _____ ), you're certainly welcome to do so. I'd appreciate an "inspired by" (it helps my number of hits :).
And thanks for the two scenes. Your 12th and 13th credits, I believe.
Tildessmoo posted a comment on Saturday 9th February 2008 5:44pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Well, I'm pretty sure no one will get a Well World reference, but I couldn't help myself when the idea came to me.
Every now and again, Voldemort asked his followers to bring him a completely unharmed muggle, so that he could break them from beginning to end. And his followers knew that when Voldemort "asked," it was as good as anyone else's order, only with a Cruciatus for those who disobeyed. So, when he got into one of those "moods," Lucius quickly went out and grabbed the first couple he could find on the docks of muggle London, just getting off of a tramp cargo ship. He dumped the couple at his lord's feet: a short man with brown hair and a beard, and a woman, striking in both her exotic appearance and unusual height.
Voldemort gloated at his captives. "You are now prisoners of the Dark Lord! Bow before your new master!"
Although most muggles were not up with the whole wizarding political situation, generally suddenly disappearing from wherever they had been and reappearing in Voldemort's dungeons was enough to convince them that _something_ was not right. However, these two appeared more bored than anything. The man said to his companion, "So, what were you saying about people who live on planets being saner than those who live in hexes?"
"For the most part," she replied. "There's exeptions to the rule in both ways."
Furious at being ignored, Voldemort shouted, "Hexes? I'll show you a hex! Crucio!" The man immediately stiffened and shuddered in agony.
"What are you doing to him?" the woman yelled. "Nathan? What's wrong? What's he doing?" Suddenly, she turned on the Dark Lord. "Dammit, stop it!" She punctuated her exclamation with a slash of her finger nails at the wizard's face. Startled, he dropped his spell. Nathan lay on the ground, gasping in pain. Suddenly, an odd look came across the woman's face. "You're manipulating the equations, aren't you?" she asked. She swiped her finger nails across Voldemort's face again. "The universe doesn't need anyone else doing that. Especially not when it's still this young!"
Voldemort tried to make sense of what the woman was saying, but it was difficult, especially the way the world kept fading on him. As the darkness closed in, he vaguely heard the man on the ground say, "Mavra? What's going on? Is it another Obie?"
In memory of Jack Chalker. Requiescat in pace.
Crys replied:
Er, you were right. I don't get the reference. Haven't heard of Well World.
Sorry.
Gullwhacker2 posted a comment on Thursday 7th February 2008 8:15am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
Harry stood in the clearing, waiting for the end. Voldemort obliged, unleashing the deadliest spell known to wizardkind. "Avada Kedavra!"
Unfortunately, they were wrong about their interpretation of how Lily's sacrifice worked. It was still active.
Harry blinked, bleeding from a second lightning bolt cut. "Well, that was strange."
Crys replied:
Thanks. Bunny added to the file. Your 32nd
bobman posted a comment on Wednesday 6th February 2008 7:58pm for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred
I'm not very good at writing, so please improve upon it if you want.
Harry stood there waiting for Voldemort to cast the killing curse, when from out of the trees a battered old car flew in and crashed right on top of Voldemort.
(from Deathly Hallows, when Harry lets Voldy kill him)
Crys replied:
Sorry, but the Ford Anglia has already been used. See #58
Killer07 posted a comment on Wednesday 3rd September 2008 8:31am for Two Hundred and Fifty-One to Three Hundred